So I'm not an incredibly social person. I prefer my own company in general, but for I went out to a social event at a restaurant with some acquaintances, who brought additional people I didn't know.
This place a your standard kind of American cuisine, which contains a microbrew, that kind of thing. Higher upscale than a Chilis, but lower than a Mortons. Lots of ferns everywhere. This isn't particularly relevant to the story, it's just a slightly more upscale place and attracts lots of you capricious millennials in your pretty clothes and BP attitudes toward things. Young up and comers tying one on and hoping to get laid. Not the type of people I prefer to socialize with.
So I only vaguely know a few people, and there's additional people who I have no clue about, one guy had brought this pretty smoking blond with him. I was impressed.
This guy is someone's cousin or something. Seems like an alright guy, in shape, a UPS driver so gets lots of exercise, doing alright for himself. Good for him. The blond barely notices me. Hardly surprising given my lifestyle choices.
As usual, I look like shit. I make no attempt to shave, do my hair, and it's sticking out all over, I'm wear my standard vaguely military looking clothes because I am cheap as hell. I mean this shit is made in Haiti, and that's not even a joke.
However I did bring an accessory that I rarely wear. When I started my first company in my early 20s, I got a fairly large check for my first income stream, and decided to treat myself to something I never wear, a watch. So like a clueless young asshole, I spent way, way too much money on this watch. I mean its the kind of watch where it's ability to be accurate about the time is like 50th place behind being a status symbol. It's Swiss and if you know watches it is highly recognizable. I wear it on special occasions and just felt like wearing it that night.
Now I'm always intentionally vague for a variety of reasons about what I do and what I earn, and even friends don't really know much about that side of me. They know I dress and look below how I potentially could. Preferring to drive cars with dents and crap (and now a van down by the river), and I travel a lot.
So I'm asking UPS guy about his deal, and blondie perks up and just interrupts the conversation to blurt out "Is that a ?" So I affirm it, take it off and hand it to her and watch her, out of the corner of my eye, start looking at it, not because of all the nice design, but looking at the kind of things you look at to determine if it's real or a fake knock off.
Having determined that it was, in fact, legitimate, for the rest of the dinner she's suddenly very interested in our conversations, starts asking probing questions, engages with me in a coquettish manner, totally fake behavior, attempting to clean, albeit indirectly, where I travel to, who I fly with (I don't fly).
Of course it's obvious to me what's going on. UPS guy seems bizarrely unaware. I'm not sure he's ever been on that side of the playing field before.
I intentionally pulled another status dick move after that which really sent her over the edge with monkey branching, but it just goes to show that even the smallest details are observed by women, in their constant desire to improve their status and resources.
Even if you look like a douchebag like I do, you can never assume a woman actually likes you (they don't) or if they're just looking for the next option and saw something about you which got their resources sniffer activated.
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[+][deleted] [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
What was the other dick move? I'm into the story.
[+][deleted] [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
The other dick move that I did was decided to pay for the drinks with my American Express Platinum corporate card that I have for my business travel and expenses. Another complete waste of money that anyone can get, but it has a some nice benefits. So this caused her to start going into overdrive before I just bailed out completely and left.
[+][deleted] [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Shit, man. Between your watch and your platinum card I would've given you a hand job on the spot purely out of principle.
[+][deleted] [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
See you say that, then I have to buy a bunch of shit and you get free drinks and ghost me. I know how the game works.
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