Finding purpose after MGTOW?

gravelheart · 2017-08-04T16:57:59+00:00

[deleted]

Llodarr · 2017-08-04T18:26:55+00:00

I presume you're familiar with the concept of AWALT? I'm 36 and have gotten past that drive to start a family by simply imagining what my future would be. I come home from work to a big house in the suburbs. 2 cars in the driveway. White picket fence. 2 beautiful children playing in the yard. But then? Then I imagine the inside of my house. My fat, ugly wife sleeping on the couch. She has Cheetos powder smeared all over her face. There's 4 empty bottles of Diet Coke strewn about the floor. TV blaring some crappy show or another. Dirty laundry thrown in heaps in the corners. I go to the kitchen. Dishes overflowing the sink. Nothing but crap food and "snacks" in the fridge. Entering the bedroom I see once again that my wife has forgotten to dispose of her afternoon lovers used condoms.

I think you get the picture.

carini_bustout · 2017-08-04T18:21:06+00:00

"most people find purpose in life in - a spouse and kids"

This "purpose" is something that has been explicitly promoted by the churches, state and media for centuries. The baby boomers, and their parents, were immersed in this bullshit for decades. Shuffling off to church every Sunday, getting the look down the nose from town folk if you practiced bachelorhood, or anything else that wasn't a conventional husband-slave to a wife and kids, the church and the community.

Lately I've been addicted to old movies, 30s-60s. I DVR them with no commercials in HD. Turner classic is great.

The reason I bring this up is this. One thing you notice with a great majority of these films, the level of propaganda woven into these movies that asserts the matrimonial/breeder slave archetype is over the top. The scenes repeat themselves across decades of Hollywood movies and shows:

Bustling city with workers dressed in suits rushing to and from their office buildings, with the overwhelming focus on career and romance, with the man's ultimate goal of getting the girl and getting married. Or depictions of men drunk, depressed and desperate to achieve that lifestyle. As if they are worthless without some skank with clown makeup and shitty hair on their arm. Stinky propaganda for generations of people, some of which still have the fucking swirls in their eyes to this day.

kgil135 · 2017-08-04T18:31:25+00:00

In my life, the only satisfying time in my life was when I was married with children. The laws then fucked me. My ex cheated and left me and took my kids, house, all my money for 16 years... left me with nothing but debt for the rest of my life. I tried hard my entire life. I was a good loyal and happy husband and father. I did nothing wrong. Regardless, life was over. I might be able to recover starting in my late 50s. I make 100k a year and live with my parents. Ideally, the goal would be to have a family with spouse and kids. Sadly, nowadays that's a path to life destruction. Donate sperm if you care to spread your genes and adopt if you want kids.

AntoniusPious · 2017-08-04T19:08:02+00:00

Become a Buddhist.

vvienna · 2017-08-04T19:49:54+00:00

I would say just think of all there is to learn in life, it's actually quite immense when you think of it. I have found comfort in hobbies. You could read, learn new skills, play sports, pick up another language, volunteer. There's alot to do that even if you lived to be 100 you still wouldn't scratch the surface of things you could master because the is just so much. And there is still opportunity to meet friends, there's things like Meetup where you can find friends with similar interests. And you could get a pet or two as well. There is a lot to do once you look beyond the social expectations of having a wife and kids to give you an identity.

retraderat · 2017-08-04T20:13:09+00:00

I'm more career oriented so I focus mostly on myself and my job. I have other hobbies too. The key is to find hobbies and keep yourself busy. To deal with the biological pressures, I take the double recommended dose of finasteride. It completely neuters my sex drive and I haven't had an erection in months.

falselyaccusedguy234 · 2017-08-04T17:02:29+00:00

Exercise, challenges, enjoying the small things.

It really gets easier with time. I am starting to feel like I used to when I was 16 and the whole world was open before me. I didn't realize how small and hopeless my world had become with women.

Day by day, my man. Just hop out of bed and push yourself every day (I will admit that 1/3 to 1/4 Sundays I nap and read and not much else).

MiGTOWing · 2017-08-04T20:34:08+00:00

how did you get over the biological and psychological pressure of having a spouse and kids? How and what did you find purpose?

Women are just shit human beings. It's not hard to get over them once you see that. I mean, I still want to fuck them all the time, that never goes, but I would never contemplate anything more.

As for kids, well, that's much more difficult to get passed. I don't have an answer, I'm afraid, there probably isn't one other than "deal with it".

goldmanstackss · 2017-08-04T20:44:40+00:00

For those who are older MGTOW (30+), how did you get over the biological and psychological pressure of having a spouse and kids? How and what did you find purpose?

I'm not older than 30, but I've been MGTOW for some time now. It takes a while to fill the void of constantly searching for the one; The wife, the child, the house, the car, the one. By not taking the time to, and devoting your life to these things, you afford yourself the time to devote your life to yourself. Through this self devotion, you will discover your purpose in life. Everyone's is different, which is why the idea that there are things most people find purpose in life in is a fallacy created to make society think a certain way that benefits a certain group of people. It's all bullshit. Everyone's purpose in life is different.

IslandicFreedom · 2017-08-05T00:23:20+00:00

It's a daily struggle because here's the problem:

When it comes to "the norm" as you've discovered, by a long shot the closest people get to a meaningful existence is found in a family. This becomes especially apparent when the people you're working with or know are highly functional members of society. EG: Typical white collar corporate.

I'm mentioning this first because it automatically means that vast portions of the population are preoccupied, too preoccupied to be a true friend, or even to engage you beyond the acquaintance or colleague level. This must be factored in.

It stands to reason then the average MGTOW will spend considerable more time alone or in isolation than those engaged in their pursuit of or attained marriage / LTR.

So what remains? Unfortunately, that feeling of your life is currently worthless or you're going nowhere is at least somewhat true. But ultimately it's all positive as I'll explain in a bit.

Firstly just maintaining what you have is in its own right a huge accomplishment. Keeping a job, household clean and tidy, bills paid, taking care of your appearance (visiting a dental hygienist, etc). The problem is - These feats on their own do not console our desire for meaning - In the same way, we don't consider eating to be our purpose in life - rather food just sustains us.

Work will only take you so far. If you're like me, work at this stage of my life (now 40) is meaningless. I view work in the same light as I see eating or drinking. I need the income, that's it. In my 20's I derived meaning from learning new things at work. I do not anymore. As a programmer who started coding at 9 years old, I can no longer be amused at all with this trivia. Work is not the place to find meaning.

The problem is if you feel truly empty then your work will suffer, you are at general risk of derailing.

Next, I would like to talk about varying degrees of success. For me, feeling like I have a purpose isn't something that's miraculously solved. A purpose is not something that will be solved in the future. It is already solved.

Let me explain. When I reflect on my own life. Directly after my marriage, I fell into a huge depression. I started drinking heavily and neglected all but the most crucial of duties. It was really a shit patch. My purpose then was to "feel depressed and shit". After that, I started very slowly like a level 1 character in an RPG to navigate my way to a better frame of mind.

I started to cook, to budget for myself, I quit drinking, started a gym, etc. I recall some of those early dishes I made, they were mediocre at best, but to me, they were a real achievement. My purpose then was to relearn my independence.

I actually quit a shit job, got a better paying job and started earning more money. I also re-bought an apartment. Within roughly 3 years I have recovered from a divorce. -> You can guess what my purpose was....

All this time though, I didn't feel like that was my purpose, I felt like I was preparing myself for my purpose which would come.

And it's like now, I'm in some kind of rut again. Or so this is how I feel. My new plan is to get a totally flat stomach and also do a dive course. Maybe this will give me purpose right? WRONG.....

Right now being in the rut is my purpose, without this rutty and shit feeling - Just like you're having -> This empty void, what would possibly drive you to progress?

So to finalize in hindsight you will see that what you're doing now is all part of a chain of events which will lead you to good things. Unfortunately, it's not always a pleasure trip.

Regarding the isolation, What I'm doing now is getting most of my socializing needs met from work "friends" and then I'm also doing language studies with tutors. I try to use young chicks for this around the 25-year mark. A lot of these private language lessons end up being more of a rent-a-friend kind of scenario. Cheaper than a hooker without the sex.

I'm mentioning this because if you are completely alone not getting enough validation, then you tend to be too harsh or critical of yourself. Can also make you feel worse, or completely void. So I have to stress, make much more effort to keep yourself well socialized.

That's all :)

mdcrubengonza · 2017-08-04T20:38:29+00:00

For me, MGTOW meant doing introspection. What lead me to MGTOW? It was the two relationships I had. When you do soul-searching you find your purpose.

My answer is: the purpose to life is to heal.

cleats4u · 2017-08-04T23:55:59+00:00

You have a choice. You can be free and live your life as you want. The alternative is your going to be getting cucked at some point, paying child support and alimony to the love of your life but, you weren't the love of her life. That guy was back in High school or college for her. Now what the fuck was your question!

2017-08-04T21:47:54+00:00

oneitis

fuck another chick. If you really can't take thinking about her, go get a high class escort (or a couple) and you'll forget her in no time.

I personally love MGTOW, I just have so much damn time with no bullshit.

gundahir · 2017-08-04T22:20:12+00:00

fortunately, somehow society did not manage to implant these dangerous ideas into my head. that life only has meaning when you start a family / starting a family is the default goal in life. still to this day I am not sure why they failed in my case but I never had that goal. I have always been focused on myself first. Shortly after I started studying at university I stumbled upon a flyer that had a summary of divorce law. That was when my red pill journey began. So for me, I was never left with this void that most people have because a family was never a goal for me. It simply was a possibility to consider, but learning about the laws i deleted that possibility because it is unreasonable and thats it.

I have zero internal drive to start a family and have kids, 0. I only have a drive to fuck hot women. As a caveman Id be that guy running around fucking women leaving them with the children to rot. Not interested in the shackles that a family brings.

mephisto2099 · 2017-08-04T23:01:59+00:00

most people find purpose in life in - a spouse and kids

Those are things that get in the way of one's "purpose in life."

treee6 · 2017-08-04T23:22:35+00:00

There are no rules. Do what you want with your life. If you think you will fiend peace with a spouse and kids then go for it! But consider all the advantages and disadvantages for you... like with everything else in life.

greywolf1968 · 2017-08-05T01:26:21+00:00

I am getting into prepping and I would urge all mgtows to do the same.I would also suggest joining any organization that represents our political opponents and try to destroy them from the inside.Just think of the trouble we could cause as members of Antifa,the Democrat Party, The Labour Party, He for She etc etc .

Sd4reddit · 2017-08-05T01:52:41+00:00

You purpose in life should be to free yourself from being a wage slave, from the 8 to 5 grind or the rat race whatever you call it. Make this and financial independence your #1 priority.

abstractaway · 2017-08-05T02:40:18+00:00

There's no shortage of purpose to be discovered. We're pressed down. We're micromanaged. Work towards escaping the mill.

Along the way you'll meet people to work with and challenge. And you'll find purpose when you succeed.

Title	Finding purpose after MGTOW?
Author	Hail_Zeus
Upvotes	33
Comments	34
Date	August 4, 2017 4:47 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6rlqty/finding_purpose_after_mgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/finding-purpose-after-mgtow.567029 https://theredarchive.com/post/567029

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