How do you recognize good friends?

Morranaii · 2015-06-20T18:05:00+00:00

I don't have the time or inclination to look for friends. I'm busy living my life and if someone wants to tag along and they are not a net negative but a positive then they can. If not then they can go back to where they came from and never return.

The people will come to you if you are the type of person that they happen to enjoy being around. Usually these types of people are focused on living the happiest best most enjoyable and stress free life that they can. They are too busy to worry about making friends. Just make sure to keep the people that are trying to get things out of you at bay.

If you think having friends or having more friends will make you happy they won't. You have to be happy with yourself first.

Wollem · 2015-06-20T18:12:14+00:00

My best friend is a bluepiller, and I'm fine with that. It's not my job to change his mind and open his eyes, he chose his path and has kids with a bipolar wife and goes through some pretty rough times when she's on a low. When he needs support, I'm still there for him, just like when I need support he's there for me. A lot of the times we just go fishing to get away from everything and those are like our therapy sessions where we just bitch about the world and have the best fucking time together.

When it comes to money and going out we take turns getting shit for one another, like I'll pay for the trip one time, he gets the next time.. neither of us tries to take advantage of one another in that, and many other regards. He's a great guy save for the whole bluepill thing, and that's alright. We just clicked, there was no testing of one anothers values, political views, ideology.. we're guys, we don't worry about that shit. We just want to get away from shit, complain for a little, offer some support, and have a great time.

I feel people over think things on this board too much, maybe within MGTOW in general. Yes, our eyes are open to women being vile personalities and would use and dump you once they're done, but it doesn't need to interfere with every aspect of our lives, just those dealing with women.

When it comes to finding friendship with men, like any other social relationship, it's give, take, and compatibility. Are they aware enough to pay for drinks when you paid last time? Do they give back to the friendship whereas you've given more than they have? There needs to be a balance on what each other is getting out of it, while maintaining a personality that you find you can tolerate. I have a great time with my bud, we're very like minded and can pretty much finish each others' thoughts now. He has a very likable personality and because we have so much in common it's easy to get along. That's what a friendship boils down to.

Don't complicate things, just see if you get along first, then pay attention to the give and take portion of the friendship.

nigelh · 2015-06-20T18:31:10+00:00

Only time shows your friends. My best mate phones me, I get out of bed, drive out of town and use my truck to pull his sorry ass out of a ditch. OK he ended up with a picture on the web so I can laugh at him but he got home. Conversely he took a day off work so he could take me to hospital and pick me up so I could get shot of a busted gall bladder. You don't make that sort of friend quickly but people you spend time with do things. What you don't do is 'shit test' them to see if they are your friend. You only call them in when it's real.

Morranaii · 2015-06-20T19:35:59+00:00

In a ideal world, I would only care if he is a man of his word and is not any kind of bully (physical, or socioeconomical, etc) or criminal, morally speaking (like a thief, but no a drug dealer). Unfortunately my stupidity, ignorance and limited intelect, combined with my lack of energy to not deal with a few things anymore, requires that I generalize and have a lot of prejudice for many things to avoid trouble in my life. That includes so many things that would be hard to list here. It goes from being reckless with his own money to being religious (don't wanna offend anyone here, I'm just trying to present my case/experiences).

Just do not mistake friends as for allies. If you wan't someone that "will be there for you if you need", you are looking for an ally (or a father figure), and keep in mind that the moral right thing to do would be there to them too. If you just want to enjoy someone else company regardless of anything else, that is a friendship. Well, at least according to my dictionary that nobody reads...

KungPaoEllenTheFist · 2015-06-20T19:35:53+00:00

Good friends are easy to find. The only thing you need to do is be a good friend yourself. If you are the type of guy who has their back when they need it, then your true friends will reveal themselves when the time comes that you need somebody to watch yours. Not everybody will step forward, but the few you find will be priceless.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-06-21T06:20:41+00:00

I tend to think less and less these days in terms of "good friends" -- as if it were some "no homo" kind of bromance thing -- and more in terms of "traveling companions".

But with the "traveling" being metaphorical in terms of specific parts of life, whether other guys are "going the same way" -- not necessarily MGTOW -- but rather things like hobbies & crafts, or aligned business interests, or some organization or group I belong to, etc.

Because the truth be told, those are what mature friendships nearly always form around -- those are the people you are going to run into again and again as a natural result of the work and/or interests you are engaged in.

The whole "best friends forever" was in a lot of ways just a delusion of our youth that we later grow nostalgic over -- in a very real sense, the friends of our younger days (be it elementary school, high school, even college and/or first jobs) were also "chance companions", fellow inmates thrown together in a compulsory institution we had little (and often no) choice in attending; and since neither our characters nor our interests were yet anything more than a vague latent possibility, well it probably SEEMED like we had more in common (and them mostly relative to things we had no choice about) than we really did.

Now the problem with "traveling companions" is that they come and go... even if you by chance continue to work at the same job, or hobby/craft, or with the same group, well, chances are that the other guy (your "friend") will soon enough depart... or vice versa.

And you have to learn to realize that THAT'S OK, indeed, it's even to be expected as a normal part of life, and you need to simply "go with the flow" so to speak, enjoy the companion-ship during the times you DO "travel in the same direction", be it a few months, or a year or a decade... and also realize that sort of like rain there will be periods in your life that seem like a drought, and other times where you are almost "flooded" out, and only rarely is there an "in between" where the amount of rain (or friends) seems to be "just right" -- before the cycle starts all over again.

PartlyMe · 2015-06-21T22:30:55+00:00

It happens kinda 'all of a sudden' for me. One day, usually quite a long time after first knowing someone, I suddenly become aware that a person whose company I enjoy has consistently demonstrated the loyalty that befits a 'good friend'..

oldredder · 2015-06-22T02:19:35+00:00

red flags filtering for people who are problems

then over time those who pass just keep watching as time goes on

Morranaii · 2015-06-22T02:36:08+00:00

I don't go looking. If people come into my life and they're not a time drag, not incredibly insecure, and don't have any bullshit dogma, then why not.

I've found female "friends" beyond a superficial level to be bullshit. All of them will slowly work their way into your life, then want a relationship that I don't want, full of time wasting bullshit and constant needy conversation. Every god damn time. So I stopped having actual female friends.

drkstrs · 2015-06-22T12:02:40+00:00

My friends are people I do things with, that's about it. They are activity partners first and foremost. Good friends allow you to develop and get better at what you enjoy. You can explore and work on things together, and ruminate on life and process.

Title	How do you recognize good friends?
Author	Morranaii
Upvotes	8
Comments	25
Date	June 20, 2015 4:53 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3aiv5k/how_do_you_recognize_good_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-do-you-recognize-good-friends.626445 https://theredarchive.com/post/626445

Comments