How do you stand compared to your circle?

codex561 · 2015-01-14T15:43:05+00:00

Each and every year millions of people wrongly use the term "I could care less". The phrase "I could care less" has become a very common phrase used to express your lack of interest in an aforementioned topic. However, the phrase makes no sense. We, the people of the internet, must fix this!

Now, by using the phrase "I could care less," the point you are trying to make is, on a scale of 0 - 10, that you care absolutely 0. However, if you could care less, you cannot be at 0 caring, as there must be a level below that to care less.

Now, the correct phrase to express 0 caring is "I couldn't care less." If you could not care less, then you are Absolute 0 Caring. You CAN NOT care less than you currently do. Absolute Zero Caring.

Summary:

I could care less : WRONG

I couldn't care less: RIGHT

Duty Calls...

spaceballs-1 · 2015-01-14T15:58:48+00:00

My circle is comprised of men from their late 40's to their 60's, all married with children. Some are on their first marriage, some have gone to multiple marriages. I never get invited to the "couples events" and "I COULDN'T care less" and have outright stated so.

My personality is such that when I hear a woman spew some bullshit about relationships and the latest self help book they read, I call them out on it. I guess it makes me some kind of villain in the eyes of the women but some kind of God in the eyes of the men.

slicebypass · 2015-01-14T22:06:11+00:00

My friends in relationships are easily and almost always automatically whipped.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-01-14T22:02:09+00:00

But, I was wondering what your circle views you as. a loner? looser? weird-o?

The ages of my social circle tend to be in the mid-30's to mid 50's.

Among the married (which in most cases is divorced and re-married) people, the wives generally can't seem to figure me out at all (and I have to admit that I don't give them any assistance in that, if anything I play borderline "gaslight" games with them if/when they get "nosy" or start being busybody types relative to my personal life); so I suppose they see me as a "loner/weirdo/luzer" or well, whatever (not that I give a shit what their hamster comes up with)

...and the husbands...

Well it seems to vary back and forth depending on what is going on in THEIR lives, THEIR work & within THEIR families...

When they are having problems (sometimes MAJOR ones), then they (often quite openly) express ENVY for my simple life (NO wife to nag or order me around + NO kids to whine and complain -- no one to enslave me {zero bullshit with finance, or with home remodel crap, nor with schools, or college costs, etc} -- plus my home, cars & toys are all paid off, "semi-retired" to VERY minimal consulting work in my early 40's {almost a decade ago now} -- and I live where other people strive to take a vacation a couple of weekends a summer ... just off a lake with a community pool, etc).
OTOH, when things are going "well" for them -- some eye in the storm -- THEN they seem want to make me feel I am "missing out" -- because no wife, no kids, etc must mean that my life is "boring" and "empty" ... because they claim those are the "good things in life" (ala some sappy Jimmy Stewart film from the 1930's or 1950's).

And I don't entirely disagree -- I do in fact see the appeal of family, and note it's absence -- and yes occasionally life can be lonely (though I also note that THEY too have periods when they feel "lonely" even though surrounded by chaos). But I've reached the age where that is essentially water under the bridge; that boat has sailed, etc. (I don't want to be a 70 year old with a couple of 10 to 15 or even 20 year old kids).

But too my mind, everything with that family structure comes (these days) with FAR too high of a risk -- the modern western society not only is biased heavily against MEN, it is also heavily intent on intruding into, and subverting, even undermining the traditional family/household -- and as a result able to decimate it and in an instant, or via slow/steady infiltration & corruption over time; and despite even the strongest/best of a man's efforts, turn the whole household into a chaotic morass; or even to utterly destroy it... and then worse, based upon some arbitrary whim, or even some misstep or mistaken communication or statement by one of the kids, or the wife, or even someone outside of the home (a schoolteacher, social worker, cop, neighbor, etc).

So thank you... but NO THANKS.

The still-single guys that I know... pretty much bounce back and forth between the same two sentiments that the married guys do. Most of them are in some LTR or another, and depending on whether THAT is going well their attitude towards me will be either envy, or condescension.

Occasionally -- during the short period of time after some nasty "breakup" or even just a "fight/argument" with their GF -- they will make various statements in line with becoming a permanent bachelor, i.e. leading an MGTOW lifestyle... but that seldom lasts (hence my tendency to be highly skeptical here in this forum of some guy who claims to have had an "epiphany" about MGTOW) and in fairly short order (typically anywhere from a month to 6 months) they have either tucked their tail back between their legs and begged to get back with their prior GF... OR they have moved on to their next BSDM master (i.e. infatuated with yet another GF, this one obviously being "almost perfect" and "not at all like the last one" -- yahright). Rinse, cycle, repeat.

Oh, as for "events" and being invited to outings and stuff... once people are past their mid 30's, and majority of them are married off or paired off (generally with kids) -- all of that stuff (especially going out on the town, to clubs or stuff) comes to a halt.

And basically speaking there is no "social life" (at least not in the larger group sense) for you to be a part of with them. Because their schedule is HEAVILY centered around two things:

WORK and work related events (so if you don't work with them, you won't know about, much less attend these); and...
their "family" -- which means their kids -- their kids sports teams, and/or school and/or church or other kid-group events (so unless you are directly or indirectly involved with those things -- as some coach or teacher -- you won't even be aware of them, and you really would NOT be welcome even if you were aware).

There will be some specific things -- some event party for one kid or another, typically when they "graduate" (from grade school, or middle school, or high school, or even college) -- when they will invite you (generally speaking this contains at least some "please give a gift/money" expectation*) to some backyard party that will be a mix of the kids friends as well as various people (single, divorced, married -- both relatives and friends and work or other group colleagues).

* And all things considered, since this happens so rarely -- and since you aren't required to give gifts to their kids at birthdays, or Christmases, or anything else -- well, it's not exactly a huge burden to toss the kid a $20 or $50 or $100 bill.

BrunoOh · 2015-01-14T18:29:34+00:00

My parents are getting the "Oh shit, we aren't getting grandkids at this rate"-rabies. Funny how they never cared or seemed to care about my complete absence of romantic success.

Social circle is half convinced I'm gay. I do pop a lot of gay jokes (I love making people uncomfortable), so that's to be expected.

marduk_hs · 2015-01-14T17:07:50+00:00

I am 24 and have been a MGTOW since I turned 18 (at least unconsciously, before I got aware a group of men actually put a name on what I was and shared some of the same life choices I made). Most of my friends are in relationships but none of them are planning to get married. I would even say that none of them are in serious relationships. When they ask me why I never bring anybody to our parties, I tell them straight away that I'm not interested in emotional relationships or getting involved on the long run. Since they are also very close to me, I tell them that this does not prevent me from having sex occasionally with a hook up or a prostitute. They seem to be pretty accepting of my choices and I don’t feel like an outsider even though I have no way of knowing what they say behind my back. I do fear however that this could change if they get married. From what I’ve gathered analyzing my three older brothers, married couples tend to only hang out with other married couples and have couples’ nights or whatever. None of them has a friend that he has known from the time he was single and that is still single himself.

I feel lucky to have friends that do not ostracize me because I chose to go my own way. As I said, I don’t know if my situation will change when they get married, I highly suspect it will, but I still hold on to the hope that it will not since we have been friends since junior high and that we have already gone through the usual friendship breakers that are long distance friendships and different carrier choices. I actually think that if we were to go different ways, it would be because of the pressure from their serious girlfriends/ wives. I see the way my brothers’ wives look at me with suspicion and are trying to keep me out of their husband’s life (they have already gone through the stage of trying to hook me up with their unattractive friends) and I feel that there would be similar consequences when my friends get involved in serious relationships.

As to my family circle, it’s a completely different story. I always get the “are you gay?” bullcrap at family reunions and everyone pressures me and tries to shame me every time I see them. This has gotten to the point where I don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore and I certainly will when I will not be as financially dependable as I am to my parents (currently doing a master’s degree).

SergeantDickhead · 2015-01-14T20:37:09+00:00

I started out as the crazy one (as repulsive as the crazy cat lady) so I stopped even talking about MGTOW or TRP ideals early on since many people are so helplessly dependant on the system that they will fight to protect it

Now I have 1 aquaintance/friend and hes just a coworker that takes video games more seriously then women so I can actually tolerate what he says.

I don't trust anyone whether male or female because everyone is 99% fueled by emotions and will turn on you for poon or what the poon has to say.

I like my bosses way of handling work issues because when hes a dick to me, it's because I'm fucking up or doing something wrong. Not for some stupid bullshit. I give him credit for that.

TeutonicMurphy · 2015-01-15T00:09:20+00:00

Have no circle outside of work...and even that's just work....

Most of my friends from high school/college are married and having kids and buying houses. Good luck to them. We drifted cause I literally have nothing in common with them any longer. It was never spoken out loud but I thought they were all morons for settling down so quickly and starting a family. I always got the return vibe "When is TeutonicMurphy going to get his shit together -especially from the women.

It's fucked up that sometimes a little devil on my shoulder suggests that I some how lost direction because I'm not married with kids and a house and a "real" career- whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean- but the older I get it's easier to flick that little bugger of my shoulder and continue on.

Scorpiontail · 2015-01-14T19:40:06+00:00

Why would I care what my "circle" thinks? Couples hang out with couples to validate their lousy choices, it's just groupthink. Think for yourself.

MGTOWmadness · 2015-01-15T10:11:42+00:00

My circle views me as:

Men see me as:

Aimless
Free to do as I wish
Making the choice they wish they had made
Not fitting in

Women see me as:

Gay
Sexist/Woman Hater
Confusing/Liar
Loser
Loner
Any other hateful insult/stereotype they can spew.

How I Get Treated:

Like a child (better enjoy sleeping on the floor, because couples always get the bed). You're the first to be given lower status than the rest (because your hostess doesn't care if you come back or not).
Like a freak
Like an outsider
Like I don't fit
Like I'm broken

As I got older and my friends 'shacked up' and had kids my social life changed dramatically.

I'm specifically excluded from anything where couples will be present.
If I'm present then there will be another single person there; always. This is often a single female whom I'm supposed to show interest in (and the other females will watch like hawks). I can't believe the amount of trouble I get in for not advancing on the single female.
Friends in relationships want to do absolutely nothing. Their idea of a great time is the kids playing at the park, or going to the children's museum. They tried to do fun things at first but they completely gave up. Some I haven't seen in years.
Don't even think about going out drinking with married/LTR friends. Absolute no-no. Unless the female gets to show up at some point and decide that "there has been enough." There is also a constant check-in phone call going on. If you're out with a couple guys, at any given time one is almost always texting or calling his wife/gf.

The sad part is, my friends really tried to keep connections with me after they got married and had kids. But ultimately the female gets 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to unwind the relationships I spent decades building. They disappear much faster than you think.

Here are some examples:

A man I've known for close to 18 years only calls me or associates with me when his wife is out of town. Period. No ifs-ands-or-buts about it. If she arrives while I'm there I get the boot. It's actually hard to believe.

A long time fishing buddy of mine moved two states over (for no known reason) and no one has seen him in 8 years. He has literally disappeared off the earth.

Another long time friend used to attend anything and everything. Now I'm lucky if I see him once a year, and that takes teeth pulling.

I definitely get the feeling that a lot of these guys were simply passing the time until they could devote 100% of their time to a female.

Female friends are an even stranger story:

A very close friend of mine kept in touch for years and we had annual meetups. She got divorced, met a new guy, and now I'm lucky to get a text. (A text!? I'm lucky to get a postcard!)

Another female friend was great at understanding my life and who I was while we were both single. That is until she got into a LTR. Now I'm a freakshow to her. We don't talk.

Lots of married couples associated with me while it was necessary but not a second longer. One in particular I was at their house every week for 2 years. I moved away for a year, when I got back I might as well have been a door-to-door salesman.

elokr · 2015-01-15T11:16:49+00:00

I have free time and disposable income.

30/M

I own my own home, jet skis, atvs, multiple vehicles and travel every chance I get.

My circle is comprised of multiple divorces, multiple children, and lots of complaining about lack of funds.

robertstylerb · 2015-01-15T15:09:18+00:00

My best friend is a MGHOW and he looks up to me since I introduced it to him even though he is more well read and versed in the philosophy than I am. Most of my circle falls into the "oh, you'll change your mind one day" crowd. Of the people who actually understand the philosophy, they refute it with "not all women are like that". And some go as far as to shame me for being single or even ask if I am lonely or ask if I am happy. In essence, I am not respected. I thinks its because I pose a threat to their world view.

Background: My circle is comprised of all age groups. 1yr old(friends son) to 92yrs old(granddad). Friends and Family. I have one red pill friend and one purple pill friend. Everyone else is blue pill. I'm a 22 year old male in the United States.

Falazure1 · 2015-01-15T17:25:28+00:00

I do not have much of a circle, grew up as a military brat (moved around a lot when I was growing up) and am now military myself...as such I have had a hard time with making connections with people and am very much a loner...one thing I can say is that being military, I have probably seen some of the highest divorce rates one can see within a given community...part of the reason I guess I have no interest at all in getting married.

2015-01-14T16:33:22+00:00

I was around a lot of social people. The ones who didn't get married can provide for themselves, but I can't. Half the guts I met knew women were risky. The other half were culturally current people, but wanted to get married like a traditional person. I see the decline in married people as just moving forward, away from tradition completely.

drkstrs · 2015-01-16T17:09:55+00:00

I live in the city and most of my friends are artists, musicians, or otherwise on some individual path regardless of whether they are in partnerships or not. I experience no pressure to change. Middle class values hold no interest to me and I have escaped them. I am an athlete and an artist myself and I connect with others on that basis because I am very good at what I choose to do. "Friends" who cared really only to become the social norm --I let them all go. I made new friends because I made space for the new. I own my own home, its very nice, and I have lots of free time. You see, I have always despised for myself at least, any sort of conventional life.

Brandwein · 2015-01-17T12:34:04+00:00

My friends try to push me to get children for the lulz, so they can get more of my kind. Aside from that, my only friends in RL are those few i play videogames and Pen&Paper with.

One of them got a baby with 21, and now he is engaged with her. I fear when he marries, he will stop coming to our meetings soon.

The rest of us are all 20/21 and happy virgins. =)

I have talked with them about MGTOW without using the terms heavily, and they seem to agree.

We don´t need no woman to be men.

Title	How do you stand compared to your circle?
Author	ishyman
Upvotes	10
Comments	34
Date	January 14, 2015 3:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/2sepme/how_do_you_stand_compared_to_your_circle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-do-you-stand-compared-to-your-circle.630338 https://theredarchive.com/post/630338

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