This drawing was done for me by one of my three daughters four years ago, as a Father's Day gift. To get it, I had to fly all the way across the country. Today, I won't see any of them. The only way to manage the day (and particularly the night) is to ignore the holiday, to acknowledge it as little as possible, and to just get it over with quickly. I'm usually pretty outgoing, cheerful, energetic. Today, I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, do anything. I'm writing this from a Peet's Coffee full of strangers, which is about all I can handle.

After living this life for a long time, the number-one lesson I've learned is that really, nobody wants to hear about it. You can be in so much pain that you feel like you're about to burst into flames, but it makes no difference. You're absolutely on your own. A system is in place that keeps remorselessly grinding away, and if you happen to be caught in it, who you are, what you've done, what you want -- none of it matters. You're valued only for the resources you can provide, and if that's ever interrupted, you're totally expendable.

I'm sitting here on the second floor of a building, on a nice day, and there's a couple strolling below me with a baby carriage. This being Northern California, the guy is tall, fit, good-looking, at the peak of his game. His wife is blonde, pretty, with sunglasses and a Patagonia jacket on. Running shoes, tights, nice ass. And what I know that he doesn't is that if that marriage doesn't work out, she will absolutely eviscerate him, without ten seconds of thought about it and the full force of the law behind her. And he'll be reminded of it every Father's Day for the rest of his life. They will take his child, his fortune, his family and if they can, his self-respect. And then simply move on to the next target.

For Neil, for Peter, and for all the other men I know who are in similar situations in this corrupt, poisonous and utterly ruthless society, I'm not going to extend any Father's Day wishes for happiness. This is not a happy day -- the sadness is overwhelming. Instead, I wish for you, and for me, patience, strength, will and above all, clarity and purpose.

Keep fighting. Dig in, grit your teeth, and get back at it. I’ve been fighting for ten years, and I’m not going to stop until I die. I didn't want this. If I had any idea this was how my life would turn out, I would have taken a very different course. But now that I'm on it, I'm going to follow it all the way to the end.

Happy Father's Day.

https://i.redd.it/kptjfq9c6q431.jpg