Dear Brothers,

Long time lurker and first time poster, just wanted to give you my warm thanks and an insights on life from couple years.

I have failed

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My year long Divorce r4pe killed my finances, but criticality took toll on my physical health. Depression, over thinking caused sleepless nights causing ulcers.

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My health issues taught me I am mere mortal who can crumble any moment. All sorts of diseases waiting to happen to people, if you don't realize your health habits. Please take care of your health.

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I got introduced to Mens rights and then MGTOWs during this period. The slow redpilling during this time grew a hatred of corporate world in me, each passing day I could not stand the fakeness. I had to quit it anyways due to health reasons. I swore never to be there

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After wasting another 2 years recovering health, I found out about stocks trading and some faith grew into me, immediate plans of minimizing my expenses below couple hundred a month and earn via markets to slowly cover the losses was thrilling and seemed possible. I was almost sure I am gonna pull through even told my friends proudly how job kills your spirit slowly.

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Fast forward year, as I chew through my entire savings to chase unachievable dream of living under planned budgets, renting and setting up a place to get things done, spending money on a used rig after a dead laptop, facing crappy internet, powercuts and recent lockdowns. I had kept faith that path to freedom must not be that easy.

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Every morning in my head buy this, sell that BOOM! profits. End of the day -20$ here, stoploss hit there. I kept reminding myself I need to do better everyday. Day by day I have seen my margins eroded but I kept faith to pull through this taking example of people who make profits everyday seeing their screenshots.

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Yesterday was peak when it was raining money in SILVER and I still managed to make a loss. Market volatility and losses are unsustainable at this point. So many missing opportunities throughout that I could not cash on, teaching me I have neither technical skills or experience to ride the waves.

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Honestly, cried a little seeing another dream shattering

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I look at the dreadful lives my parents lived through paycheck to paycheck. Yes I am gonna be just like them miserable and frustrated entire life running the rat race. Now gonna pull some strings, I will go back to "corporate dementors" and gonna kill myself each passing day, slowly and surely.

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I have failed myself. Hope you all are pulling through. Best wishes.