I am 37 years old, for the last 12 years of my life, I have been living with a women.

First one was a "one of the boys" fun to hang out with, drinking, partying and kick boxing together. She end up cheating on me and she made me listen to it on the phone. Almost killed myself over it.

Second one was a foreign student, got married. Since she came from a rich family, I could not sustain her need for luxuries, she build resentments over it and put me over the worst freak out violence I have endured in my life. Almost killed myself over it.

Third one was a red pilled, mormon girl and National-socialism enthusiast. Tell me she is a women and need to be put back in her place by a man. I was getting shit tested 24/7/365. Every time she tested me, I put my foot down and refused to endure her bullshit. She refused to be put back in her place. No matter how hard I tried. End up findings flirting text with others man and ditch her over it.

None of them ask me for money.

I still have my job and making good money.

What the fuck I am doing now? I have been so Indoctrinated to find happiness with a women. I don't know what to do alone with money.

Please show me the light.