So it's a situation that I'm having some issues with...

  1. We're both late 30s. Long distance relationship. She came out to see me a few times last year, it didn't go well because she was super fat and I wasn't into that.
  2. Smart girl but there are some issues.
  3. She's Red Pilled, smart, MRA type.
  4. She sells herself as 'That girl you always wanted, who plays computer games and supports Trump, and doesn't believe in hyper-gamy or cheating'. In most respects ,she delivers on that. She's smarter and more intellectually solid than just about any girl I've met. It's true.
  5. She wants to move in with me.
  6. She's currently in a homeless shelter, hasn't worked or made any money hardly for, idk, 20 years.
  7. Has an older daughter who will go live with her dad.
  8. She used to be hot, but became obese, didn't care for her teeth. She's trying to fix all that after I told her to, but it's slow. She has taken steps to fix it all, but again, very slow process.
  9. She has a habit of being loud, kind of trashy in how she speaks. She's smart, yet seems to choose to behave like a slag off the Jerry Springer Show at times, and it turns me WAY off. It's a HUGE problem which I've tried to tell her, but she hasn't changed a lot. She doesn't seem to realize being a mouthy-type who spits out foul language is completely unattractive. There's times she speaks and sounds like total trash, like a ghetto person.
  10. She talks about being 'high value' and all this, but then does the opposite, and cries, gets upset all the time, asks me over and over if I'm really going to come out there and pick her up, and move her here, seems really insecure about it, wonders if I'm going to do it or not, can't seem to function without me for more than a few hours. Gets distressed if I sleep, or I'm not online 24/7.
  11. She acts like once she's here, it will be 'perfect' but I'm not so sure.
  12. She's called me 'shallow' and says I treat her awful, I've hurt her over and over, mostly because I've rejected her at times, or didn't like how fat she was, or got upset with her big mouth.
  13. She says I just want the 'fantasy' of our online interaction, not the 'reality' of being with her.

I'm having some real trouble with this. I would LIKE it to work and to believe it can work, but she does things that TURN ME OFF. SHUT ME DOWN mentally and physically.

For one, being fat and having bad teeth was a HUGE setback. Huge. (She was also in total denial about her teeth when I met her, but finally woke up to how bad they were. The fact she spent 20 years not taking care of them bothers me.)

But then you add on to her -- at times -- mouthy, trashy personality, and my attraction is just totally gutted.

She has the capacity to be a grown up and more of an adult, but chooses at her age to act like a teenager way too often -- crying, whining, complaining, snarling, about everything.

I don't act like that. I get upset now and then, but I don't behave like she does. I'm very calm, easy to be around, but I don't respond well to her behavior. Who would?

She'll be devastated if I say -- once again -- no I don't want us to live together. But I'm just turned off to the idea, and the last times she came out here, it was just tons of crying, whining, begging for attention, reacting extremely poorly to my lack of being 'super into her' -- I just think it will repeat. She's not able to just live her life happily without 'me' being her central focus and worry, 24/7.

Her lack of refinement and obesity, and bad teeth, basically made all this impossible to work. I can't get past it. And it hasn't changed much. My hope is she could LOSE ALL the weight, fix her teeth, shore up some bad habits. We're STILL not there and she's going to move here?

I WISH I was more into her but she's made stupid choices that make her less appealing. Her 'Red Pilled' side and intelligence are a big plus, but day to day living, and her emotional instability, worry me.

She says I can't commit, and IF I did, THEN she would he happier. Is my hesitancy and issues I have with her WHY she's not happier, and WHY she doesn't respond better? Am I causing all this, by being more 'on the fence'? Is it making her crazy, so in turn, I get turned off? Are her responses normal?

If I committed more, gave her more certainty, would she be happier? She claims so.

It seems all this 'on the fence stuff' has made her super-distressed.

But I've noticed even when things are going better, she'll still launch into this 'ghetto mode' and sound like a trashy girl, and it turns me OFF huge. So even if things are going well, those issues are still there. I don't want to be with a girl ACTS like that. There's NO reason for her to act like that. Grow up. Be an adult.

Her OWN DAUGHTER who is a teenager has a more pleasant, 'refined' graceful personality than she does, in fact. I don't know why a female believes, 'I'll act like ghetto trash but it doesn't matter he'll love me anyway'.

Thanks for reading.

Keep in mind, she DOES have good qualities that 99% of women these days DO not have -- she is loyal, dedicated, sweet, caring, too, and her intellect and creativity go a long way too.