Is there something wrong with me?

OneTruePhilosoraptor · 2018-10-05T05:11:25+00:00

You are a more logical being than others, that is why you are not being persuaded by the emotional hormones that make you want to have kids.

I have no interest in perpetuating our fucked up world. The rich live like demi-gods while the majority slave away for scraps.

I will never ever bring an innocent life into this cruel world where there is no justice or decency or even due process anymore.

The dream of kids and a loyal decent wife living together as a nuclear family doesn't exist.

Unthotful · 2018-10-05T03:49:41+00:00

Playing catch with a 9 year old son is fucking awesome. Being married is not. Trust me, I've done both.

TB409 · 2018-10-05T05:57:08+00:00

I would love to raise a mini me but i would not love to have all the drama that follows it. I understand where youre coming from.

DWShimoda · 2018-10-05T06:47:36+00:00

Help me see what I'm not seeing.

I will try to do so...

Am I insane or one of the few guys who have awakened?

Definitely not the first. Possibly the second. More likely it's something else (what you're NOT "seeing").

Though it seems rather than being "woke" you're crafting a (well thought out but nevertheless) "rationale" because YOU see the only other option as that you're "insane."

Rather MORE likely I think the third possibility is that to begin with you're a very THOROUGH "thinker" type*; and that also: you're still just "young"-- and I do not mean that in any "insulting" manner -- rather that you probably still very much have the "young immortal" mindset.

IOW, you haven't really deeply digested & accepted your own coming mortality (which you still see s being in the distant future); and then from that moved on (or mentally shifted your perspective) to the more parental/paternal (even "stewardship") view.

Doubtless you have read many times where some guy has said/written that after he "became a dad" (usually holding infant shortly after birth, but sometimes before that, and sometimes only a bit later)... that his whole perspective on everything changed, that his whole "way of looking at things" is different now.

That's the parental/paternal view I'm talking about... finally "kicking in."

Note how often men say it happens THEN -- that is to say, AFTER the kid exists.

See the plain truth of the matter is that I think your FIRST assumption:

I'm 28 years old and the obsession with reproduction hasn't hit me like it did with most men who want families.

Contains a couple of fallacies. I don't think most men are actually "obsessed" with reproduction at all ... if they're obsessed with anything, it's most commonly simply FUCKING. (EDIT: and/or the "idea/state/status" of having a wife/family -- it's a "rite of passage" for some like getting a driver's license or their own apartment -- for others it's akin to how they "go to college", even though they have ZERO idea of what to "study" and have NO "passionate interest" in any academic subject at all, and in many cases how they end up in a profession/trade -- they goina sort of "passive" manner... because "everyone else does" and because "well, it's expected; it's what you do."; and quite frankly they have no idea what ELSE they might do, etc.)

As for the "most men who want families"... I likewise don't believe that most actually DO; not in the deepest sense of the concept that YOU are describing (especially with the "self-sacrifice"). In fact from the men I have known, when they've been HONEST, most of them apparently DIDN'T THINK it through anywhere near to that extent you are.

And that's even NOT counting for a moment the many guys who literally didn't "want" to become fathers (at least "yet"), but who were "tricked/trapped" by having "accidentally" knocked up some woman.

PRIOR TO actually having kids -- what those who SAY they want "a family" for, and what they really want are very often rather much more "vague/superficial" and/or even arguably "self-centered", and very RARELY is it actually "well thought out" (much less PLANNED). Vague & superficial in the sense of just "following the script" and playing the life "status" game (keeping up with the Joneses, societal expectations, even "competitive" drives among/between males); and self-centered in that they chiefly seem to think/dream of future kids as a sort of "life accessory" -- halfway between "pets" and "built-in companion/friends"; perhaps even a "substitute" for siblings or friends they DIDN'T have or "lost" or maybe just never connected with as deeply as they wanted (critical point missing is the comprehension that while a child is a DEPENDENT creature, it is also an INDEPENDENT living creature... with a mind & will & "life" of it's own).

Ideally those "vague/superficial/self-centered" notions get CORRECTED (smacked upside the head) by the reality of the child (hence the statements of "My way of looking at the world changed") -- but of course that DOESN'T always happen (and brutal truth of the matter is that many of those "My life changed" statements are either banal/rote "parroting" of a meme, or else more of a whinge/complaint); and as many kids slowly come to realize (even when the father IS present in their life, in their home or otherwise), their dad never really wanted kids at all.

* This -- what you are doing, and the degree of seriousness with which you are doing it -- is actually significantly more RARE than you can probably imagine.

The vast MAJORITY of people do NOT in fact go about their lives -- much less do they make their "life plans" and "life choices" -- with anything even REMOTELY like the kind of "careful forethought" (long term thinking/planning/choosing) that YOU are engaging in.

They are instead very much more "impulsive" and arguably hedonistic creatures (i.e. "If it feels good, do it!" etc.) -- which means they are much more "driven" by hormones and other things they really do not comprehend. (And in many ways often don't CARE to understand.)

To be blunt (and some would say "politically incorrect"**) a huge percentage of the population -- I would say in the present era the vast majority (Cf r/K selection theory***) -- are virtually "animals" operating in an "animalistic" manner, and in terms of reproducing are literally not much different than animals "in rut."

** Ironically. Because this -- that humans ARE merely "animals" -- is actually the [current year] mainstream agnostic/atheistic viewpoint. Nevertheless they get "offended" when you take that to the next step and imply that they are "unthinking", etc. (Go figure!)

*** Pretty much by definition, the very fact that you ARE thinking in terms of the "costs" of parenting -- and even more so that you believe those costs will ALL be borne/fulfilled by YOU (and thus your belief that it would be a major "self-sacrifice")... plops you WELL into (even arguably at the extreme end of) the "K" selection group.

Re the prior * and ** footnotes above, the vast majority of people alive today are "r" selection group types. (Which is not surprising: abundance after all, allows "r" rabbit types to reproduce in an EXPLOSIVELY EXPONENTIAL fashion.)

coryandtrevorforever · 2018-10-05T07:50:21+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think a lot of people who have kids regret it. It's next to impossible for people to admit, but I think it's true.

MenGoingTOWin · 2018-10-05T04:27:28+00:00

I'm nearly 30 and want a few kids but I don't want to roll the dice with getting in a bad marriage or divorce as I wouldn't be able to take it and I would lose the wealth I have built so far.

I wouldn't mind having a kid or two with no wife but telling that to anyone who isn't MGTOW would think that is more crazy than not wanting to get married... What do you do lol

xopi2000 · 2018-10-05T14:01:00+00:00

Mid 30s. I can honestly say the desire to have a child has never, not once, hit me.

It's so peaceful living alone, only interacting with people when, where, and how I want. I could never get used to anything else

MarketWatcher9456 · 2018-10-05T15:07:32+00:00

You're not alone. I never even thought of having children. Sounds like a nightmare.

Title	Is there something wrong with me?
Author	StyleandSpeed
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	October 5, 2018 3:47 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9liwy9/is_there_something_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/is-there-something-wrong-with-me.480890 https://theredarchive.com/post/480890

Comments