My Brothers, I feel very fortunate that I have secured for myself a NAWALT. Therefore I will no longer need this forum or any red pill philosophies.

I used to believe that all women were parasitic and vapid children. Using men as utilities in order to fulfill their “Barbie dream house fantasy”—in the meantime taking it in the butthole from Chad Thundercock. Since I’ve met “the one”, I want to share my story of the truth of NAWALT.

I met her last month on graduation day. She was a communications major, (she’s a very good communicator) but she dropped out because of various dorm room conflicts. I received my degree in Chemical Engineering, and she was at the graduation to show support for one of her friends (he’s a guy but they’re just friends).

By the miracle of fate (and perhaps cupid’s arrow) after the graduation ceremony I found myself sitting next to her on a bench on campus. We really hit it off. I told her that I’d already secured a great job with Royal Dutch Shell, and that I’d be well over six figures. She told me how stressful it can be working as a waitress at Hooters, and that many men that go to the restaurant “undress her with their eyes” and commit other crimes of pseudo-rape. Needless to say, I showed her support. In our initial conversation she told me that she “loves to laugh”, “loves to walk on the beach”, and that she “loves to travel”. I was shocked that we had so much in common.

She is extremely good looking. I love her piercings and tattoos, and her breast implants really compliment her figure. She has a huge ass that offsets her fading stretch marks. She does have a large tattoo on her lower back that says “Rueben”, but this is in reference to her father (I admit it’s a bit strange considering her father is named David).

We have plans to get married at the end of July. We have both agreed to remain “chaste” until our wedding night. Although we have not had sex she is three months pregnant. I have agreed to raise the child because fatherhood is not about whose sperm has inseminated the women.

The only problem is that I am turning 25 and she has just turned 34. I’ve always liked older women, but I get very offended when people accuse my fiancé of “robbing the cradle”.

Besides this, everything is perfect. I can’t wait for her to move out of her apartment with her friend and move in with me. I shall ride my unicorn into the sunset!

Edit; I advise haters to google "satire".