Gentlemen, I just got my ass woke af in a manner that will probably seem textbook to so many of you long-term subscribers of MGTOW.

Went back and forth about whether or not to post here about it but figured fuck it. I could use the advice and wisdom of people who have been through it and come out the other side.

For a little background I'm in my late 20s and have spent much of the past decade in and out of relatively LTRs. I've never had any problem being single at different times but generally speaking I tended to function better when I was in a relationship. Anyway, got out of a three year relationship a few months back and found that I was getting a lot of interest from a few different women shortly after.

There was one woman in particular among them, a friend who I was actually very fond of but previously never thought that anything would happen with mainly because she was married and had a young kid. As coincidence would have it, about a half year ago her husband left and she's been doing the single mom thing since.

Anyway, while my relationship was on the rocks I noticed this girl was getting in touch quite often with messages of support, which I really was grateful for at the time. After the break-up the tone in text exchanges shifted from being supportive to being more flirty and fun in nature. Next thing I know, we're texting all day every day. That continued for almost two months with vague plans to hang out or go for drinks often being thrown out there but rarely followed up on. (Is that a red flag I see??)

Until eventually we did go out and had a great night together. I came away from that night feeling like a million bucks, totally reinvigorated and content with how things were going, until (I shit you not) the very next day when she gets in touch, very emotional because she had just spent the past hour on the phone arguing with the ex! Apparently she got drunk and contacted him asking how he could have left her in this position etc. he gave her the inverse of the whole "it wasn't you, it was me" speech, basically telling her that she drove his ass away. (I know, I know. By this point I'm practically drowning in red flags)

But instead of running, I stayed. I can't explain what my thought process was in that moment. I really can't. I saw the red flags right there and then, and I chose to ignore them. Because I had caught feelings for this girl. By this point I had dismissed any other girls who were on the horizon, cause I had started down the road of developing a terminal case of oneitis. So I let her pour her heart out to me about her ex, and then I spent a lot of time reassuring her that it was his loss and that just because he didn't appreciate her it doesn't mean there aren't others who do. I feel like a fucking chump for assuming that role, because from that moment on I found myself being manouvered back and forth between the roles of love interest and beta-orbiter at her whim.

Some days I was her reason for getting up in the morning, and others I was nothing more than a BB, whose only purpose was to build her up when she was down and stroke her ego. Not only from day to day, but from hour to hour I could feel the tonal shift in text messages from flirty to distant without warning, and it royally fucked with my head. What did this girl think of me? If she's really not interested then why does she always initiate contact?

I never could answer that question because truthfully I dont think she could answer it. Well, I mean she could, but her answer would be different depending on the time of day that you asked her. She blew hot and cold like you wouldn't believe.

A few more weeks of vague plans for dates and last minute cancellations continued (all on her terms).

Anyway, at some point I had to start listening to my gut. Whatever the fuck this thing was that we were locked in, the one thing that was for sure was that I was getting no joy out of it. It was the very definition of a one way street. I put this woman on a pedastal and looking back on things now she had done nothing to deserve that kind of admiration from me, aside from being supportive when I was going through my break-up. Though honestly I even look back on that support now as maybe her having ulterior motives and subtley undermining the relationship in some way.

I discovered this sub and I'm so glad I did. It wasn't a moment too soon. I was reading other horror stories from guys who attempted to tackle the world of dating a single mom and I found myself going through the checklist of being a beta orbiter, and God damn if I didn't tick nearly every box. Worst part is, I never would have considered myself a beta in the past but the facts don't lie. I pulled back pretty rapidly and explained why.

She still initiates contact on an almost daily basis, and when she does I'm my usual polite self. But I tend to not answer questions with more questions and so the conversation fizzles out pretty quickly.

I'll never understand why a woman would even want to keep in contact with someone after it becomes clear that they've been woke. What is there to be gained from that?

I don't entertain bullshit or mis-treatment. Never did. Ghosting has never been my style, but I've made my point now and it seems she still wants me there, presumably on standby in case the ex never comes back or another wild Chad doesn't appear.

Women often make the mistake of confusing kindness for weakness. Never be afraid to just walk away fellas. If your gut is constantly telling you it's wrong, then it's wrong.

Stay woke gentlemen.