I am a Full stack developer, divorced, kids etc. Make good money, I have posted here before about the money situation. What prompted me to write this post today is the depression that hit me and the ensuing behavioral change. My washer and dryer broke. I went to <Name Brand store> to buy a new one, realize my credit is frozen, because I was a day late in payment. So, I do what any reasonable person would do. Schedule a payment. I got paid today. I make 6500 per pay period. After all the deductions, today, i get in hand 1947. That is not enough for me to cover for my mortgage and the credit consolidation loan I took after my divorce was finalized. The fact that, I cannot even cover my basic needs after doing everything right (except the getting married part), it hit me hard. I do side gigs too, and one of the gig had an issue, while the kids went to sleep, I lay down too, but I could not get myself to get up and out of the bed. But I still did, on my way to my office, I tried to stop myself from randomly eating whatever I could find, just so that I don't have to work. Why should I work, when after working so much I cannot get my basic expenses covered. I'm reminder of a clip from 'Married with Children', where Al Bundy said, he is a winner for not putting a bullet through his head. I ask myself, why? what is the point? To be seen humiliated by situation by your kids, friends? Why should I not kill myself? Why should I not abandon society, friends, family and stand in front of oncoming train, after all I am worthless, my efforts are worthless.