Maximum simpage

DavidShekelburg · 2018-08-13T20:59:38+00:00

Chef? Dude must have a time machine.

Financial planner? He has the ability to enter alternate dimensions.

Drozz42 · 2018-08-13T21:30:04+00:00

Stylist: You should shave your beard, wear your hair the way I like it, and dress like I tell you to.
Financial planner: I need new clothes, my nails done, and someone to pay my bills, whatevers left of your paycheck you can split with me.
Chef: Where are you taking me for dinner?
Pornstar: I don't feel like it tonight... (I wonder what Tyrone is up to)

For the low low price of your soul, sanity, and half your stuff!

Swan_in_a_Cage · 2018-08-13T22:31:41+00:00

Yeah a pornstar...she fucks dozens of men weekly.

Financial Planner...steals all the money and makes sure you don't spend it.

Stylist....spends all money on clothes and worthless shit

Chef...not even

Slushierpuppet · 2018-08-13T21:10:41+00:00

ChiefBoyJosh? More like KingSimpPussySniffer.

TheMarvelousSchmuck · 2018-08-13T21:00:58+00:00

[deleted]

aCNNAnonymousSource · 2018-08-13T21:25:15+00:00

I know this market director in my company, probably makes like $200K base salary. I cringe when he calls his wife the chief financial officer of the house. She is a stay at home mom. Kids are in like 5th and 3rd grade or honesty she probably doesn’t do shit. But he has to ask her if he can go golfing. Shake my damn head

llDUNN · 2018-08-13T22:07:27+00:00

And then men post stuff like this to ONLY get 120k likes from mostly females. Men can be cyber-whores just like women. Only out hunting for attention on social media. This is virtue signaling at best.

LouElmo · 2018-08-13T21:56:53+00:00

He’s delusional.

cobaltcolander · 2018-08-13T22:45:47+00:00

120.000 likes - double facepalm.

ThaiEscapePlan · 2018-08-13T22:50:40+00:00

You have to check out his twit feed. other hits:

To all the guys saying I’m only doing this for “pussy” or that I’m a “kiss ass to women”you weren’t raised right lol.

or

A girl that remains loyal to you without a relationship is a girl you should marry.

or Kiss her, and make her happy 💋.

MesaBoogeyMan · 2018-08-13T22:57:40+00:00

Faithfull????? What planet this cuck from lol

oirectine00 · 2018-08-13T23:40:22+00:00

"There. I Tweeted it. Can you touch my peepee now?"

buzzingkidder · 2018-08-13T23:53:29+00:00

This guy is single because this woman doesn’t exist

MesaBoogeyMan · 2018-08-13T20:48:43+00:00

Fucking ass probably gets more tail than I have in my life, too...

Samsquamch117 · 2018-08-14T01:25:04+00:00

He forgot emotional parasite

GiitaFan9 · 2018-08-14T04:26:53+00:00

“Financial planner” is the one that gets me the most. She plans what she wants with your money then you still have to save for retirement and pay the bills

kikkamokkeli · 2018-08-13T22:36:06+00:00

"A few moments later"...

humidtexan · 2018-08-13T23:08:25+00:00

For the price of faithfulness and affection...until she "gets bored"...

pusymaster · 2018-08-14T00:13:27+00:00

pornstar? I bet this virgin whiteknight thinks sex is like porn

marian5567 · 2018-08-14T01:57:44+00:00

Show me a woman with style, good finances who knows how to cook and how to fuck. It's only in your wildest dreams

Roland_of_Giliad · 2018-08-14T02:21:37+00:00

He'll learn the hard way

unpluggedoasis · 2018-08-14T02:53:19+00:00

What a loser lol

2018-08-14T04:39:47+00:00

I find this completely hilarious...

A chef knows how to cook, and will do so without complaining, or demanding you compensate for the time they spent cooking the meal by doing a bunch of other shit around the house.

I do believe a financial planner is meant to improve your money management. As if having to pay for dates, vacations, and jewelry is going to improve anyone’s financial situation.

And as for that comment about a woman being like a pornstar... r/deadbedrooms

labiteatibit · 2018-08-14T05:29:00+00:00

Simp of the year award goes to Joshua! We'll see you here in a few years Joshy old buddy.

TheMarvelousSchmuck · 2018-08-14T06:32:38+00:00

stylist

Lack of style is entirely on you, and relying on some woman to give you some is weak.

financial planner

HAHAHAHAHA... Ha ha... ha... Oh God, are you serious? The poor bastard, he doesn't know. He's in for quite the ride. Oh well, you reap what you sow.

chef

Pfft, I know more men that do the cooking in their relationships than I do women. Some of them are pretty good at it too. And again, if you can't cook your own meals, that's on you, you lazy prick.

pornstar

Fucking lolwut. Yeah, pornstar for the dude she's fucking behind your back maybe. I don't know what kind of boring-ass porn you've been watching where the woman lays there like a starfish.

But hey, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he found a girl who is actually into him (and gives even somewhat of a shit in bed). Any sexuality from her is going to dry up after... let's say a year, two tops. After that, you'll be lucky if she can even muster up the energy to give you a disinterested handy.

all for the low price of faithfulness and affection

And sanity. And dignity. And any connection with friends and family that takes away time from her. And more goddamn money than you can imagine.

Seriously, if you think the only price is faithfulness and affection, then you clearly haven't actually taken an objective look at the relationship. The moment you do a real cost-benefit analysis, you'll find that you're the one giving, giving, and giving some more, and what she provides is pretty small and petty by comparison.

It amazes me how deeply men can be fooled by simple access to a vagina. Just because they're allowed in the magical crevice, they start looking at it like they've been given a bounty from God, when it really is just a gross-ass smelly hole attached to a noise-creature that hates you more and more as time goes on.

BlackBoxInquiry · 2018-08-14T11:31:15+00:00

Notice she leaves out how “good” each role is performed?

Financial planner? Yup, once broken up they’ll take as much of out money as they can.

Porn star? Maybe so, but not with you.

Stylist? Do we need a stylist?

A Chef? As in Chef Boy-r-dee perhaps.

Are there exceptions? Certainly...she’s talking about “tripping”? She sure is...

crypto_hodlor · 2018-08-14T02:49:47+00:00

Women as of late keep asking for respect and demanding that men start respecting women. Last I checked, respect is earned, not given out freely just because.

custos_uk · 2018-08-14T00:07:19+00:00

Chef is a joke. Most of my mates do the cooking, thanks to feminism this generation think they’re too good to cook meals.

Flatlandcavalry · 2018-08-14T00:22:59+00:00

If only this were true

scriptx1 · 2018-08-14T00:53:09+00:00

She will plan her financial future with his wallet. What a dumbass...

ThaCommittee · 2018-08-14T02:42:07+00:00

r/niceguys

RedPillMissionary · 2018-08-14T05:27:49+00:00

If by financial planner he means money burning furnace

Sword-of-Ancestors · 2018-08-14T07:04:43+00:00

financial planner?

no thanks.

JTKirkSr · 2018-08-14T11:05:55+00:00

If you need all that minus the porn star. You're lacking in basic abilities.

gadabout13 · 2018-08-14T11:57:03+00:00

literally the dumbest thing i've read today...this guy needs to be drug tested and sterilized ( YOU! out of the gene pool!)

LuvMeTendieLuvMeTrue · 2018-08-14T12:22:04+00:00

But what are the reactions if I put up a tinder post asking for a woman to be a porn star, a chef, a financial planner and a stylist?!

StoneTempleFlyboy · 2018-08-14T13:37:18+00:00

You'll notice guys that go on like this can't do any of these things themselves and are momma's boys, so her half assed skills at making a grilled cheese sammich and paying the minimum payment on her credit card seems like black magik to them.

rooster-one4 · 2018-08-14T15:47:59+00:00

financial planner, chef and pornstar? ha ha. Here's my $2 pour water in with the shit in a box that cost me somehow 4x's what it would cost anybody else in the world, and box of donuts for me to eat because I'm stressed from making this hamburger helper and measuring fucking water.

Fucking girls dressed in man-skin raised by retarded mom's...that's who writes this shit. Retards.

TheObelisk · 2018-08-14T16:36:38+00:00

"You're unbearably naive."

LeGrosTabarnak · 2018-08-13T21:32:38+00:00

He's not wrong about pornstar

EffectiveEgg · 2018-08-14T14:37:36+00:00

Stylist? I wanted to return almost every article of clothing my ex bought me..

Title	Maximum simpage
Author	drummerdude1232
Upvotes	244
Comments	75
Date	August 13, 2018 8:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/971up0/maximum_simpage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/maximum-simpage.510235 https://theredarchive.com/post/510235

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