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geronimostilt
[–]SCROTAL-SACK66 points67 points68 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why the fuck did I invite her to sleep over? Holy shit I can't wait until the morning..
[–]TDUser333333 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I started telling all vaginas that I have to be up at 5 am for work. They all reflexively say "oooh okay ill go home later tonight then" and its amazing
[–]d4ng3rz0n34 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do this but I also actually do get up at 5am and its life changing.
[–]Cuck-WTF59 points60 points61 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Many may never know the joy of free and inconsequential thought. Humor isn't grounded in predatory self interest, which is why it's uncommon for women to be funny.
[–]master_haku91 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
awesome comment
[–]TDUser333333 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had to reread a few times before I understood. wow.
[–]BoskOfPortKar2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Indeed. They are fun killers.
[–]Watchingcluturefade24 points25 points26 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh god so fucking true ....
You haven't texted me back in four hours!!!!
Uh yeah, I was on a two hour conference call, then had an hour meeting and put out a fire for an hour and a half. Only to have to now deal with you asking me wtf I have been doing?
Yeah .... bye
[–]loadedmoment2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It isn't even worth explaining what you were doing for four hours, she doesn't care or won't understand.
Next time I'll say I was shoveling shit, and laugh when she doesn't notice.
[–]80173517 points18 points19 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
"Do I fart now or do I wait for her to turn around completely?"
[–]dogwoodcat12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Why not both?
[–]8017357 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
]=)
(grabs can of beans)
[+][deleted] 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
then shoves her head under the covers while proceeding to let em rip.
[–]8017350 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, Paul Proteus has a vid in which he mentions 'brazillian fart porn'.
[–]classicrando0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/392/968/a88.jpg http://southpark.cc.com/clips/2knqad/no-more-blue-balls
[–]redditrat9916 points17 points18 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I realized early on that the idea of men always looking to cheat was a projection of female hypergamy.
Also, if i'm laying in bed, most of the time the thoughts are:
"Alright, what do I have to do tomorrow? I have to get up and eat and shit and shower, but I have that meeting in the morning so I can't sleep in. remember don't sleep in. got it? got it. okay then drive to work, deal with the fucking morons on the road... why are people so fucking stupid. I mean, seriously. put your fucking phone down, you power-cut headed bitch. you are not that fucking important. just like that bitch on Monday that almost drove into me or that fucking asshole that almost drove into me yesterday. I get it, you have a tiny penis, your giant truck told me that, but pretending to be "alpha" on the road is just a recipe for disaster. God, I hate that fuckin alpha horseshit. you don't have to try to be dominant if you are dominant. talking loud. being bossy. having an A-type personality does not mean you are dominant. being a gym-rat does not mean you are alpha. wearing a fucking work-out shirt to work that literally reads 'Alphalete' just means you are a fucking tool. Spending $30 on one shirt just means you are an idiot, pure and simple.... what was I ... oh right. get to work and then I have that meeting with more morons that...." and so it goes.
[–]master_haku91 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the idea of men always looking to cheat was a projection of female hypergamy
since they are self-referencial, they think men think like women think. they think men want to gossip about women, which is why they hate men meeting together without women.
[–]chasingsnow 15 points16 points17 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
this is very true. last girl i dated was by far the hottest girl i ever dated. i was pretty red pill so i didn't pedestal her at all, but overall i made it clear i thought she was fucking hot and i never thought about other girls because she was so fucking hot. we also ended up living together so it wasn't like she didn't know how i spent my days. any time a pretty girl was on a movie or in public, if i looked at social media or anything, it'd be, you just want to look at hot girls and since you're a man 100% sure you want to fuck them. if i wasn't here right now, you'd be trying to fuck that girl.
.....most of the time i was thinking about what I was going to do next in the Witcher 3. seriously fucking annoying. that was the one that made me give up. finally get the hot girl you want, and the hamster never stops. i'd be with her 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and she'd still find a way to say I was thinking of other girls.
[–]rationalthought31418 points19 points20 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
finally get the hot girl you want, and the hamster never stops.
Show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of her shit. We all want the supermodel but we don't realize the baggage that comes with it.
[–]chasingsnow 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
THIS! she was by far the hottest girl i got, and could've been a model if she was taller. i had already heard that quote and found it to be quite true. that's when i realized it was over. i'd go out and literally every guy would eye fuck her, just drool over how hot she was, i'm sure wondering how a dumb fuck like me could get her or wish they were fucking her or could be in my position. a few of those times i wanted nothing more than to be far away from her. believe me, once you've had a few crazy fuck nights during psycho time you are faced with that very real question;
is it better to deal with a psycho bitch and have the best sex of your life with big titties in your face, or have peace and serenity of mind and just be alone and jack off.
sadly the second option usually wins out, especially as you get older.
[–]rationalthought3145 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
literally every guy would eye fuck her, just drool over how hot she was
and the assholes out there are sizing you up to see if they can steal her from you. This is why you don't want to go to a bar with a hot chick as there are always guys who'll do that shit and she'll play along for the attention and see how you react.
Yeah, the head games just get old after a while and once you've fucked a few times, you get that out of your system for a while but now you have to deal with all the "joys" of a relationship which there really aren't many outside of sex especially these days.
[–]evilmmm3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Projecting. She was thinking of other guys, a backup plan. Stupid cunts.
[–]chasingsnow 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
of course she had a backup plan, she was beautiful and young, but ya at that moment she felt genuinely hurt....but mostly in her ego identity of her self and her sexuality.
One of the many projections women put on men is that men are always thinking about sex. If that were the case, nothing would ever get done. Women are constantly overthinking, re-evaluating, judging their relationships and themselves in regards to men that they have little time to come up with mind-blowing concepts like an Earth sandwich - an earthwich. Dammit, gentlemen! We need to make it happen just for it to be in put down for posterity sake.
[–]HiredMind1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
+1 for Earthwich
[–]ghostsnnicesprites2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interestingly enough, she’s actually probably thinking of other guys.
Chicks will mentally cheat on you because they think you are. Then they’ll physically cheat on you because they convinced themselves that you definitely cheated on her.
Maybe she dreamt it. It doesn’t matter, she’s certain you did so she has to get back at you. #Hamsterwheelkeepsspinning
[–]bama79rolltide1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really enjoyed this. Made me laugh. Thanks!
[–]kayfab0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol another case of beta friend zone in the making, no sex lets just cuddle and i can talk about my dramatic life....... ok come over i am ready to lay down for you and be an emotional tampon pffffff
[–]TheFall_0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm always thinking about the droid attack on the Wookiees
[–]greenleefs0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
http://www.zefrank.com/sandwich/
[–]malexander777-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not true, the earth is flat.
[–]HiredMind2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So is bologna, so it'd still be a sandwich.
[–]LGBTQSJWPCFUBAR-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking great comment
[–]TheFall_-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The earth is a pyramid.
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[–]SCROTAL-SACK66 points67 points68 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TDUser333333 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]d4ng3rz0n34 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cuck-WTF59 points60 points61 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]master_haku91 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TDUser333333 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BoskOfPortKar2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Watchingcluturefade24 points25 points26 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loadedmoment2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]80173517 points18 points19 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]dogwoodcat12 points13 points14 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]8017357 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
then shoves her head under the covers while proceeding to let em rip.
[–]8017350 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]classicrando0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redditrat9916 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]master_haku91 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chasingsnow 15 points16 points17 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]rationalthought31418 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]chasingsnow 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rationalthought3145 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]evilmmm3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]chasingsnow 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rationalthought3145 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HiredMind1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ghostsnnicesprites2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bama79rolltide1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kayfab0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheFall_0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenleefs0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]malexander777-1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HiredMind2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LGBTQSJWPCFUBAR-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheFall_-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link