I've had some intense personal experiences that have lead me to believe that special (exclusive) relationships need to go the way of the dinosaur.
After that experience, the very idea of holding one person as "more valuable" than another makes me want to vomit a little. I never want to be someone's "special someone" because I know what's behind it.
The experiences also taught me that there is no way a single man could ever satisfy a woman. The idea is ridiculous.
I've always kind of thought open relationships were a bit gross, and perhaps materialistic. Suggesting it's just for people who want a lot of sex. Years ago, I checked into a couple swingers clubs and just kind of observed. What I saw was men bragging off their trophy wives in a bid to gain some self esteem by having a "hotter wife" than the others. Yuck.
But the past few years have made me review the concept. Should I ever find myself in another relationship, when she's hollering at me about how I'm not satisfying her needs good enough, I would love to say "well, I'll keep my eyes open for a man who is willing to do this for you". This would shift the power dynamics and make her responsible for her own happiness, IMO.
Sexually too. It's kind of a turn on, now. (It wasn't before, believe me! Yuck!) But the real value, I think, would be the emotional connections. I know it sounds like an oxymoron to use the word "intimacy" in the context of an open relationship, but that actually is what I mean.
Of course, when I think about how it would actually play out, I think of some queen, maybe 2 or 3 hot guys and a fan club. The arrangement being that if you worship her enough and bring her flowers and chocolates.... Perhaps she'll think about you while she's banging one of her men on rotation.
In other words, it would probably be a great idea... for her and a few chad's.
I also think it would be impossible to form any emotional bonds, because the chances are, she's just not interested in that.
My guess is, it would just be an empty experience and you'd get more fulfilment by joining some porn stars fan club.
Anyone here try open relationships? How did it blow up? Anyone else think monogamy may be on the way out, and perhaps that's a good thing? What's your experience with it?
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I always hear bullshit from swinger couples about how they're 100% "committed" to each other and it's just sex. I'm not being judgmental, people can live how they like and what not but don't sell me shit and call it sugar. You're not in committed relationship. Don't care how you define it. You can't be an 80% pilot when you're flying the fucking plane. The whole point of your marriage was to forsake others and all that other drivel. If you don't want to be committed, that's your business. But don't bullshit me by labeling yourself one thing and then being another.
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