Psychological wall

october-ru · 2018-09-04T08:12:58+00:00

You better leave or she’ll end up cheating on you or already has and you’re under her spell because you afraid to let fo

AggressiveChlamydia · 2018-09-04T08:16:44+00:00

I was in such a relationship until about a month ago.

Look, this is not going to go anywhere, this will NOT improve. You're one step away from being free at last. And she's thinking the same thing ! My ex told me in a real-talk session that she did half of those things (being an insufferable cunt, lying about not feeling well to avoid sex, all that stuff that seems just a bit out of place when it happens) just so that I would have enough. Just so that I would be the one to pull the plug.

She's most probably doing all of this on purpose because she's not courageous to "intentionally wreck you", even tho she is actually wrecking you on a daily basis.

Pull the plug on this. Don't care so much. Do you own thing. Everytime you're walking on eggshells, notice it, snap out of it and just go like "Hey, what's the worst that could happen if I intentionally didn't care so much ?". Catch yourself when you're being weak and submissive, snap out of it and go your own way.

Do you want to go motorcycling with friends ? You suspect she'll want you to stay home to watch Netflix ? Then don't ask her if she wants to stay home to watch Netflix. Just tell her "Hey I'm out for a couple hours to ride with my friends, cya". She'll freak out. Don't care, you're already out the door. Do your own stuff, don't care so much, and it will bring you evercloser to the point where you can pull the plug effortlessly because the relationship will be basically void.

TheImpossible1 · 2018-09-04T11:33:03+00:00

Just leave holy fuck. Seriously you'll end up killing yourself soon if you don't.

impirepro06 · 2018-09-04T08:23:15+00:00

You’re insecure. And her constantly acting negatively toward you and you believing her only furthers your insecurity.

It’s time you join us brother. You’re not alone. Unload that weight and burden in your life and be free and happy. You do not exist on this earth to protect and please other people. This is your life and you’re completely free to live it the way that makes you happy. Making her happy is only a temporary good feeling but it will never be enough for her. Your job in life is to be happy. That’s it. She is not your responsibility and the longer you choose to make her your responsibility then the more depressed you’re going to become.

You’re at a crucial time in your life right now. You’re here because you know what you want and it’s not her. You have no reason to feel bad for dropping her like a bag of rocks. She is responsible for her life. Not you. Her choices brought her to where she is. You’re not and will never be to blame for anything that happens to her.

So drop that anchor that you call a girlfriend and live life your way. Pick your head up, shoulders back and realize that you’re in control of your life and you can do whatever you want. It’s a freedom you will never regret. It’s time to focus on yourself and let her be responsible for her shitty life. Don’t let her guilt trip you either. That’s a famous tactic women use to tug at our hearts but it’s not real so ignore it.

Good luck and keep us updated brother!

an0naly · 2018-09-04T11:56:47+00:00

Get the fuck out immediately. Stop thinking and act. I left my 5+ year relationship after it began affecting my physical and mental health. I had a panic attack while driving to work and I knew I had to leave the same day.

Went home, packed my shit and drove off a 1,000 miles to another city (where I lived previously).

Every day feels better. It will for you too.

TaiYongMedical · 2018-09-04T08:24:14+00:00

Either go into monk mode, or into Deus Vult mode.

2018-09-04T09:21:30+00:00

I was in a situation similar to you and I realized it was the fear of confrontation that was stopping me. I dreaded the thought of how she would react and for months I put up with her shit. Once I told her I was leaving she freaked out as expected (threw everything of mine on the front lawn scenario) but oh my God what a great feeling after I was out of there. My advice is to tie a string to your tooth and doorknob and just slam the door. The pain will be very short lived.

iseehot · 2018-09-04T12:26:46+00:00

Easy way to get her to leave: quit giving her financial support.

After, and I say this a lot when two people have commingled their lives this long, consulting a lawyer.

klim_milk · 2018-09-04T16:21:02+00:00

Stop spending money on her. Tell her you don't have any money left this month. Do you share accounts? Find a way to stop it. Move that money into your own ends. She will end it. Of course she will try to take half.

jonathino001 · 2018-09-04T08:45:01+00:00

You don't have to just pull the trigger all at once. I'd recommend packing your shit covertly, and just leaving. Ghost the fuck out of her. That way you have to actually do a bunch of prep, and when it comes time to finally leave, you'll have the pressure of all that work counteracting the illogical part of your brain telling you to stay. It'll be a "I can't back out now" sort of situation. On top of that, this way you don't have to break up to her face. Leave a letter if you have to (although I've heard some people say that can be a bad idea.)

cafeorange · 2018-09-04T08:58:17+00:00

There will be never ending of helping. Stop now. The way she treats u will only get worse. If u already find it unbearable now, it will get worse.

I dont see any positive points for you to stay in this relationship. Save your time, her time. She will need time to find someone who can bear with this BS before she hit the wall. If you love her. Let her go

deathhawk256 · 2018-09-04T11:51:46+00:00

You need kick in the nuts or go to trekking for a week with friends, clear your head,and bam dump her ass.

majewherp · 2018-09-04T11:55:03+00:00

I have a friend is benn in a similar relationship for about 2 years and I have to say it is disheartening to watch as he used to be someone that was fun to hang around and now he's a cynical person who's pushed away most of his friends, I stay with him because I'm his close friend and I need to look out for him but also because I'm worried hell developed depression or become suicidal which is something I wouldn't wish on anybody and I pray it doesn't happen to you. To avoid all of that I think it's best if you just break it off with her because this isn't a ship that can still float, this is a ship that keeps on sinking when it should have gone below the waves a long time ago. No matter what you do that boat is not going to rise back up and it's only going to keep sinking so the best thing you can do instead of trying to keep it afloat is just let it go, hop on a life raft by yourself and sail off into where you want to go. You'll probably be alone at first and maybe even regret it but once you find your destination, you'll be glad you did.

2018-09-04T13:36:59+00:00

You don't really have to explain anything to her in person. Cut off contact, leave her a note saying you're ok but want out of the relationship. Don't answer when she calls, block her number and email and disconnect any social media. Disconnect social media of shared friends too as their leakage might prompt her too revenge. In fact, just delete social media.

sir_monkfish · 2018-09-04T14:02:40+00:00

> But why i have this psychological blockade?

Attachment.

It's normal but you may have some extra baggage from early life.

Guilt and shame.

You may feel you need to continue in the relationship out of fear.

MSP_Generalist · 2018-09-04T15:54:35+00:00

I believed having a girlfriend would fix me.

It will. The same way you "fix" a tomcat!

You're making this far more complex than it needs to be.

Either you're miserable enough to leave, or not. If you're not willing to set boundaries and make a break if necessary, you've no one else to blame for being miserable than yourself. Nobody's pointing a gun at your head, forcing you to stay in a toxic relationship.

Grow some fucking balls, and do what you need to do. Or quit whining and learn to enjoy being a bitch's bitch.

DavidShekelburg · 2018-09-04T18:51:44+00:00

I wonder if just telling her your salary was decreased at work would get rid of her, like "We can't afford to eat there. I got a pay decrease." Just thinking out loud.

glad2besad · 2018-09-04T22:22:38+00:00

Ghost her. It will be hell for you I PROMISE you but time will heal you and your life will improve.

ipoopgreatness · 2018-09-04T13:34:13+00:00

Stop being a cowed and afraid. Reach on down between your legs, fumble around a bit, find your balls if you can, remind yourself you're a goddamn man, and fucking act like it. Terminate that shit and drive on. When you're feeling lonely go to the gym, go hiking, and block that thot's ass.

Psychological wall

Comments

But still talk to a lawyer first. A divorce lawyer. Then start planning.

Title	Psychological wall
Author	PinkEyedGayDragon
Upvotes	37
Comments	25
Date	September 4, 2018 8:08 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9ctn1b/psychological_wall/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/psychological-wall.497712 https://theredarchive.com/post/497712