I respected myself tonight and am very proud of it.

8,295 points746 commentssubmitted by javedmuhammed to r/dating_adviceSelf-respect level: over 9000!!Self-respect level: over 9000!!2Self-respect level: over 9000!!2

Two people in this story:

Myself: 21M, uni student. Majoring in MechEng

Lena: 23F, uni student. Majoring in Nursing

I used to always see her studying in the library. A month ago, I said hi to her, eventually we started going out.

Today was our 6th or so time out and we're talking about life in general. She talks about how she's had an awesome semester and she's doing great socially too.

I said same, and you're the best thing that happened this year. She gave me an awkward look and didn't say anything. We continued talking and I was walking her back to her place.

She started talking about how I am "kinda clingy" and that "the other people [she's] seeing" are not as clingy as I am. Upon asking for clarification on the other people, she confirmed that she indeed is seeing other guys (2 actually) and me texting her "what's up" every other day is clingy behavior. She said me saying what I said about her being the best thing this semester is the clingiest thing anyone said to her. Then proceeded to give me a lecture on how her dating multiple guys is the norm and is better than putting her eggs in one basket—because that's totally what a relationship is, an egg.

The conversation was getting heated, but I kept a calm demeanor and eventually arrived at her house. I let her know that I think we're very different people, and I particularly don't want myself to be a plan B or C of the guys she's dating. Then told her about the whole clinginess thing, where I was actually putting in some effort into talking to her, not being clingy (In 30 days, we exchanged 150 messages)

She got super concerned and said we could talk this out maybe later. I told her I don't agree with multi dating and I respect myself more than that.

She gave me a hug and left.

My phone was bombarded with texts from her at 3AM where she confessed she's only seeing "1 other guy" not 2 as she had said earlier (like that makes it better lol) and she wants to meet me again. After texting back and forth she said I am stuck in in the 1940s and will never find anyone if I stay like this. She then asked if we can be friends and I declined.

She is still sending me texts and I said have a great day and set her on mute. It feels great to value myself, I am treating myself to some ice cream as I type this.

Appreciate all your kind comments. As much as I want to respond to all of you, Reddit doesn't let me respond without waiting 9 minutes each time (dumb!)