Why do people avoid solitude?

DangZagnut · 2019-12-02T00:58:11+00:00

Beats me, I never get lonely. It's not like I live in the middle of the woods or something. I still gotta stop for gas now and then, go to the gym, go to the store, and all that.

I grew up spending all day alone doing whatever I wanted, so I am very used from a young age of just inventing my own projects and things to do.

I think a lot of children grew up so connected with devices and helicopter parents, and all that constant nonsense, that they find it impossible to not have that happening 24/7.

It's referred to as "data starve" when they are alone too long without constant hyper-stimulation. Look how video games have to be now. And constant phones. Hell even I do it shitposting all day.

But then I can sit at stare at a wall for 4 hours without a single problem too.

My parents would toss me out at sun up and say "be back and sundown and not a second before hand".

So you don't have the privilege to get bored under those circumstances, or possibly I'm a huge anti-social loser. Anything is possible.

gi0rno_gi0vanna · 2019-12-02T02:17:11+00:00

[deleted]

tedshreddon · 2019-12-02T00:54:26+00:00

Sometimes because they have not learned how to enjoy their own company.

MeGoingTOWin · 2019-12-02T02:26:01+00:00

It is that tough for most as they never learned to love themselves first and not need validation from others. As DZ said here, I get enough of society from work, store, gym etc such that my alone time is valued.

WaywardStag · 2019-12-02T00:59:48+00:00

We're a social species, and some of us need people more than others.

Wardedbilledanteater · 2019-12-02T03:23:07+00:00

I like my own company. I am content. People who need others around all the time really don’t like themselves.

Ocjab · 2019-12-02T01:36:03+00:00

Feeling lonely sucks... being alone isn't the same thing though.

A friend of mine asked a week ago if I was lonely. I instantly said "Nope!". I'm superhappy even! Never been happier then now tbh.

He couldn't understand it though. Was too complicated for him.

Some people just aren't made to be alone, I guess. But I have always been alone so guess I'm used to it. The only time I felt loneliness was when I was in relationships. Man that sucked.

tingsrus · 2019-12-02T05:16:17+00:00

Whoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.........Aristotle

Friendly-Casper · 2019-12-02T06:47:56+00:00

People fear and avoid solitude only cause they are lonely. Solitude is simply a state of mind that can help a person to undergo self reflection. Not many people like what they see when put in a position where they might have to admit to themselves that they screwed up somewhere along the course of their life. It means taking responsibility and forming solutions to correct whatever may be wrong or find what is "missing". People like that are lacking in self awareness and will ultimately be overwhelmed (worst case scenario being a full mental/emotional breakdown) if they're forced into solitude.

The noise of their every day lives such as surrounding one self with people that do no good or contribute nothing positive to personal growth, constantly going to places (clubs, shitty jobs, bars, parties, etc) that serve only to distract or piling up material things that hold no meaning other than to serve as another distraction from everything that might be wrong, is ultimately how they try to stave off the truth. That they simply do not like the soul staring back at them in the mirror. Solitude is not something to be feared, loneliness however is. If more people would learn to differentiate between the two, they might find some peace of mind in their own lives rather than trying to self project their failures, short comings and mistakes or accidents upon others around them. Much like Socrates once said, the unexamined life is not worth living.

Flatwart · 2019-12-02T04:18:21+00:00

I've lived 2 years abroad and alone and traveled so many places by myself. The truth is, even though I have enjoyed my time alone and would rather be alone than with a shitty companion, it is more fun being with a close friend or a significant other. You have someone to share the moments you enjoy.

Technically, what you want is a friend or a significant other who you can enjoy being alone with.

MoMoney_MoHoes · 2019-12-02T01:08:06+00:00

people are afraid of the thoughts and reflections that come with solitude, so they need "toys" like a kid to keep them at bay

2019-12-02T03:14:31+00:00

I don't have enough hours in the day to do what I want to do as is to worry about loneliness. If it's not with longstanding friends or family, socialising usually feels like a chore where I'm thinking "I wish I was doing X instead". "

If you find things you're passionate about and exercise, loneliness becomes nothing more than something other people tell you that you 'should' be feeling. At least for me anyway.

GoodMan_Gone · 2019-12-02T07:33:09+00:00

I think humans are by nature social creatures. Interaction on a group level is an evolutionary "choice." A group is stronger vs predators and chances are less a predator will kill you. So I think social interaction is "programmed." But that doesn't mean you have to be afraid to be alone. That's learned conduct. Same goes as fear of dying. You and I will die. But that's nothing to be feared.

Verbae · 2019-12-02T08:14:45+00:00

I think it's more instinctual than anything else, people are social animals. Most people are conditioned into wanting companionship, or at least hanging around in a group setting.

That said, if you have some hobbies or personal pastimes you can mitigate that feeling.

Some people like to say that feeling lonely is out of the ordinary and needs to be fixed, but there's nothing wrong with that. You can feel alone or lonely at times but still be happy or self-satisfied.

Aladdin70 · 2019-12-02T09:54:42+00:00

I'm always alone and i'm 80% of the time happy and okay. but there is 20% of times when i lack human contact and feel shitty . but i'm trying to find a thing to do in those times to avoid that. for now going out on a bike and listening to podcasts helps. but not to a 100%. i think a lot of people are like that. humans are social animals.

Buchwild · 2019-12-02T10:15:53+00:00

You're not lonely when your channeling your passions. Stay busy

Gladstone61 · 2019-12-02T11:19:52+00:00

Someone told me once, that someone who is truly content with who they are, has no problem driving in the car with the radio off. This was explained that the need for the constant entertainment and distraction is used as cover to hide your true thoughts behind.

Being lonely is an incredibly surmountable non obstacle Reading, Hobbies and productivity are simple things you can do by yourself to overcome lonliness. And if those are not enough there are lots of fraternal organizations you can get involved with from Church's men's groups to volunteering at VA hospitals or any other Civic organizations who are able to accept volunteers

agile_drunk · 2019-12-02T12:12:39+00:00

It's not wrong. Some people just need more social contact than others.

WanderlustYouth · 2019-12-02T14:32:05+00:00

Most people are i've to come realize are weak and pathetic, to the point where if they don't constantly surround themselves with external validation, or someone else to leach off the quickly deteriorate. Its quite sad really, but since the majority of people are like that its spun such that being alone is "bad" for you mentally

2019-12-02T15:46:24+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5SwcrVnyLc

TheOnly1forNow · 2019-12-02T19:30:29+00:00

" start looking for another girlfriend without even thinking. "

To me this is the most pathetic time in a man's life. I have seen so many men act in ways that disgusted me. These men are weak, crying and crying, drinking so much they piss themselves and pass out on the floor over a girl. Pathetic and desperate. Invite me to be a 'wingman' and then use me as a whipping boy around girls, as if insulting his friend will impress them. Spineless.

If someone asks you how you deal with loneliness, just ask them "How do you deal with your desperation?"

thehedgehawg · 2019-12-03T06:20:12+00:00

I love solitude. I'm sitting on my back porch by myself enjoying a good cigar, some nice sippin bourbon, and a fire. It's my favorite part of the week, next to going for a ride on my motorcycles or going to the gun range... both mostly solitary endeavors

scarletxoxo · 2019-12-02T07:13:54+00:00

shit... met a new man... he is totally wanting to go into monk mode. but then we met eachother.

Can you go into monk mode but still have <3 on the side? Does it have to be black and white?

Title	Why do people avoid solitude?
Author	CalmElk
Upvotes	62
Comments	25
Date	December 2, 2019 12:49 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/e4qx88/why_do_people_avoid_solitude/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/why-do-people-avoid-solitude.385510 https://theredarchive.com/post/385510

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