Being Alone

aquaticscrotum6969 · 2020-12-16T05:00:01+00:00

I have watched several seasons of "Alone". There are women on the show and several have very good survival skills and are mentally tough. The lack of food depletes their energy over time and that makes it impossible to stay productive. Imagine laying around thinking all day from total boredom. Toward the end it is a starvation contest. JMO

Perseus_the_Bold · 2020-12-16T17:58:58+00:00

Weakness is synonymous with vulnerability. The men on this show aren't weak in the sense that one find in them an exploitable advantage but they do in fact have an exploitable vulnerability in that - as you accurately pointed out - they are co-dependent. While they are close to their wives and children they are vulnerable to them, all one has to do is exploit their family and the man will become exploitable himself and susceptible to coercion and manipulation because he would do anything for his family. It will also make such a man risk averse and rather tame, as he will not seek to endanger his family with any unnecessary risk either to them or to himself as his family depends on him.

The biggest vulnerability with men who are psychologically attacked at the hip with a woman is that they become emotionally unstable in that they depend on their wife/gf to maintain themselves grounded. Their woman becomes their 2nd leg and hence she becomes his crutch. Men who stand alone stand on their own two legs, thus women are actually an encumbrance - a 3rd leg that has to be dragged along - to men who are independent and free.

I'm not a social outcast, I am a social outsider by choice, I prefer being alone as I find it blissful. Money and careers are means to and end, the end being peace and perhaps joy if possible. I make no illusion that happiness is even real. My goal in life is to find peace by eliminating as many stressors as possible by securing for myself the means by which to provide for myself all those things that I need and all that I enjoy. A roof over my head, food, clothes, entertainment, hobbies, and the necessary cash to buy whatever I fancy and to fund my intellectual pursuits.

In my case it's not that I am "independent" of others for emotional support; interacting with others is emotionally draining for me thus I am happiest and most fulfilled when I am alone - I love it and I enjoy it. Having to interact with others for more than a certain period of time every day is exhausting for me and can even be aggravating if I do not get time in solitude.

There is a wider spectrum than merely being social or anti-social. There is Asociality, those of us who are asocial (without society). We lack any and all motivation to interact in any social interactions because we are psychologically self sufficient and thus having to interact with society requires effort and can be mentally straining requiring more energy which is why we do not feel shy, we feel drained, tired, and exasperated.

In talking to plenty of MGTOW I find that we tend to fall in either one category or the other. A lot of MGTOW are asocial such as myself while others are anti-social in the sense that they have suffered some sort of developmental trauma that prevents them from interacting with others in a healthy way while still feeling pangs of longing to interact with others. Now this is a huge difference here. It means that while both groups are inherently alone only one of us is alone by choice while the other is involuntarily isolated against their will in the same sense that incels are involuntarily celibate. Perhaps this is why we are seeing a surge in Black Pill philosophy and incel-like mentalities creeping into MGTOW forums.

Maybe a lot of these guys are not happy being alone and they are seeking to patch that void in their life with some sort of meaningful interaction with the ghostly specter of MGTOW? They probably haven't figured out that the need to be social, just like the "need" to be with a woman, is optional and not actually a need. All that is required is the necessary work to change one's attitude and world view in order to live a life independently of validation from others.

Brian-_S · 2020-12-16T06:45:31+00:00

I've never seen this show but it kind of reminds me of quarantine when shut Downs first started happening and people seem like they were losing their minds just staying at home as a person who enjoys being at home and not being bothered it was very weird to me that people couldn't even stay home for 2 weeks without posting on social media and online about how they were being driven mad

onbakeplatinum · 2020-12-16T07:32:44+00:00

I've never seen the show you are talking about.

I actually like my alone time. I can play games, research and shop, fap, etc. I was secretly hoping I would be quarantined so I wouldn't have to go to work and could just sit in my room and game for hours on end without responsibility. It's way better that didn't happen though.

Though when I'm alone, I'm not really alone because I can always text my coworkers, friends, etc.

cleats4u · 2020-12-16T13:19:26+00:00

I think it has a lot to do with conditioning. These men are conditioned to believe they need a woman in order to be whole. Without one they are empty and life has no meaning. It's like in high school. The guy that didn't have a girlfriend? Well, something was wrong with him. He's a social outcast. I knew guys that got girlfriends just to keep from feeling this way. They judged their self worth by the girl on their arm and competed against each other for who could get the best looking. This determined their rank among themselves. Men are starting to wake up to the fact that they aren't losers because they didn't get the girl. In fact they are actually the winners. Their life is easy street compared to the guy that won the girl. He's working his ass off to keep her or to keep from sending her the check every month.

Solo_and_Simple · 2020-12-16T13:02:52+00:00

I can somewhat relate to what the men on the show felt. Back when I was married, if I took a trip away for a week, I'd miss her a lot in the first couple days. Similarly, when I ended the marriage, I missed her a lot at first. I felt very alone. It took me a while to adjust to being single again. It's like, when you're married, you get very used to being in that coupled state. Your identity gets tied into being married, being a husband. Then, when all that changes, it can feel very disorienting and lonely for a while. You need time to readjust to being solo.

I say this as someone who's been very introverted, somewhat schizoid even (depending on how you define that), and has spent the majority of his life happily single. I am naturally inclined toward solitude.

What I'm trying to say is that this dynamic (missing someone you're bonded to) is just something that happens to people who are closely coupled or married. It's not necessarily some character defect (although I agree codependence can amplify it). It's just how emotional attachment works. You're used to being around someone you love and care for, and when they're not there, you miss them.

At least, that's how it worked during the happy years. Once the marriage wore on a while (and it didn't take long, maybe two years), I started to LOVE when she was gone. I had the house to myself! Ah sweet peace and freedom!

Title	Being Alone
Author	mebf109
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	December 16, 2020 3:15 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/ke14j4/being_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/being-alone.803613 https://theredarchive.com/post/803613

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