Long story short, I made a mistake 11 years ago and believed one of those "I'm on BC and believe in abortion, I don't want a kid!" kind of ladies. Pretty early on, I realized she wasn't who she portrayed herself to be and I broke things off. Total silence from her camp for over a year and 1/2, then I got that dread letter from the state "you might be a father, you owe us money!".

11 years down, 7 1/2 or so to go (my state it's until the child graduates HS or turns 20 (whichever comes first), the kid was born at the start of the school year cycle, so technically wouldn't be off the hook until the following may/june when they graduate).

How the hell do I stop feeling guilty about what went down? How do I realize I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and move on and look to the future?

I've never been late on a payment, I've always carried insurance through my employer, but I still feel like crap.

She made it VERY clear that she wanted nothing to do with me other than financial support, and she moves so damn much that I've no chance to even try to get "involved" if I wanted to. (3 different states so far, and I'm not even sure which state she's in now). I pay directly to the state so all my payments are tracked and kept recorded properly, so I never know her info.

Every so often she'll try to get in contact with my via social media or phone I have on file, asking for updated insurance cards, etc etc, then goes radio silent for about another year or two.

I pay her support, I just want some mental support of my own. I've no one I can talk to this about. General society just treats us like garbage.