Few weeks ago, I realized things were going bad, and I just pragmatically started to fix it. Its something that will take a few years to do so, I think. I felt bad with the realization, and sometimes when I see the wasteland around me that my life has become. I think that at least shed some tears would make feel better. I think it would bring some balance between acceptance and the will to fix it all.

But its been long years that I can only cry when shits gets really, really bad. When I see another man crying, I usually presume the same. I suppose that, to a man finally cry, something must be hurting really, really bad.

I think this might even bring negative outcomes to the body. I had some serious health problems few years ago that I'm still fixing, and the only possible explanations the doctors could come with was relentless stress. It is hard to accept that I can get sick from repressing emotions. It reminds me a bit of the "Are you a faaaaag?" routine from Bill Burr.

Just another night ramble.