I'm so different already. I listened to the Audible version of No More Mr Nice Guy and it flipped my script completely. I'd been teetering on the edge of giving up my failing nice guy persona, but that book shoved it over enthusiastically. I've dealt with several self imposed punishments and this "earn the love" mentality. I had a complete narcissist stepfather who was a workaholic, and my biological dad was so unambitious that he fled to another state to escape taxes and child support payments. He moved into his parents basement at 32.

I could identify with wanting to be the opposite of my two shitty father figures. My grandfather a WW2 vet was the only positive male example I had. So I valued honor, duty, and integrity because of him but he died when I was a teen and was ready to learn how to practice these positive qualities. My mom was my main teacher. I always hated Alpha types and likened them to my step dad. But honestly he was trapped in a cage of caring what others think.

Anyway in a week I've started a lifting routine and started achieving more at my job. I don't let my wife walk all over me and I've started my MAP. I've never been more hopeful then now. I'm living my life for me And I'm responsible for my own happiness. This is so empowering. I have no more depression, I'm driven to destroy the things that made me miserable. Or not allow those things power over me. My wife's attitude towards me is right now bewildered and confused... But that contempt is gone. I'm thankful for you dudes seriously.