Hey MRP. This is my first post after lurking for a month or so. I hope to get involved in the discussions here so apologies for the TLDR start. I have read NMMNG and MMSL and am working through WISNIFG. Vitals are in in my early 30s, married for four years and together for ten. No kids, no plans for them. We are both professionals and make six figures each. I kept us afloat while she took an advanced degree (which is now definitely paying off). We just paid of our student loan to zero yesterday, and "look good" to the outside world. We are both HWP and fit, not jacked ( but I'm working on that). She is very dedicated to her job, whereas to me, mine is just a means of getting paid.

Critical point, like many here is a dead bedroom that has been around for several years. I find it hard to give her the things she claims to want (compassion empathy) when I'm not getting what I want in the relationship. Sex is maybe once a month and starfished. Honestly I'd rather jerk off, and I do. But again that wedges is more. In the past we've gone to traditional couples therapy but that has always turned into nothing, and I don't see any progress from it.

I feel horrible when I act cold or aloof with her, so WISNIFG should help a lot. We do most things together but I'm trying to split those up a bit too ( working out at work rather than with her at night) just to establish some distance and unfamiliarity.

Traditionally I have felt abandoned by how much work she does whether in the job or school. BP me cooks, buys groceries and does all the things to support that sort of lifestyle. Now, I like cooking and consider it fun, plus it lets me control our macros etc, but I need to be better at telling her what needs to be done. The balance is she always has "work" so I feel that it comes first.

I will check in with some FRs as they arise, but would love to hear from some dudes who are with professional or busy women who aren't of a more traditional SAHM or part time worker often found in MRP discussions.