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exbp Archive

View 10 posts and 573 comments by exbp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

When she's with you she tells stories about how awesome Chad is. Make sure that when she's with him she has stories to tell about how awesome her husband is. Perhaps that's already the case and there's no problem. Perhaps you're not good enough for her to sing your praises -> improve. Perhaps you're at the top of your game and she's still out looking -> dread.
/r/askTRP22/07/16 04:46 PM
10

Losing a bet ≠ desire. Sounds like she was having fun but didn't think that fun would continue once the panties came off. Blow it off, let her wonder about it while you're absent and improving.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 12:30 PM
8

Ever notice it's a down-nod for guys you don't know, and the opposite up-nod when you see a friend?
/r/TheRedPill26/06/16 09:59 PM
1

Perhaps his SMV was their starting point but I'd argue that they were really testing his frame. If they tease him and laugh at him and he cannot handle it (or better, turn it around) then he's useless to them as a man. Men see this as bitchy and cliquey but it's really training to learn to test men. I bet that same kid with some confidence and some game could have had some giggling 14 year olds getting high in his room in under 30 minutes.
/r/TheRedPill27/05/16 12:20 PM
12

Hard to say what's cause and what's effect here. I got a big energy boost when I cut out the sugar a few years back. Subsequently dumping 30 lbs was a big confidence booster. More energy and confidence added when I started working out. Still more confidence added when I understood how women tick due to RP. All of that leads to getting laid more often. I can see shedding metabolic syndrome being the cause of more test but I can also see known pathways doing it. Having said all of that, fat beta b…
/r/TheRedPill09/04/16 12:45 PM
4

You're a boring loser with too much time on your hands, otherwise you wouldn't have time to go through the logs You're too nice. He also reeks of insecurity (which I'm sure she can smell) because of his tracking. And there's zero OI when he's so scared of losing her that he'll make this much effort.
/r/askMRP06/04/16 04:28 PM
3

Dude, you're at 3 months and you admit there's progress but you're ready to give in? Ready to lose half your stuff in divorce and be "ruined" financially? Ready for the slightest emotional flare up to mean you don't see your kid for a week or two? Ready to watch her bring home a steady stream of replacement candidates weekend after weekend (in front of your kid)? Ready to have some other dude deciding what's best for your child? You tore her down by pointing out her SMV is so low (over 30, has a…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 05:33 PM
3

asked me to get her some water. I told her I was lying down - mentally I was trying to set a little tiny boundary Good start. Never do anything that she can't do herself, unless you're specifically rewarding good behavior. I told her I heard her but that I just hadn't gotten up yet This is the point of failure. You're explaining your lack of servitude, which to her means it's an issue worthy of discussion. You don't even care that I'm crying! She's ruled by her emotions. When you respond to her …
/r/askMRP30/03/16 07:02 PM
1

Your biggest and first problem is your own wife sticking up for this ho, she needs to see the disrespect first and foremost. Once that's accomplished lay out the facts only for your buddy, don't go into her (obvious) intentions, just report her behavior. Prepare yourself for the fact that he already knows or has massive cognitive dissonance around the issue. I strongly hinted to a buddy that he should not put up with his total slutbag of a wife once, he feigned being completely unaware despite n…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/16 12:23 PM
2

If your wife has the impression that you'll love her "no matter what" then she will abuse that power sooner or later. She will see that commitment as a weakness on your part and she will physically find you less worthy. Most men are here because they could not understand why their wives did not want them anymore. And most of them would have rather found any other explanation & solution. No one loves RP but it's the truth, accept and use it or not.
/r/askMRP08/03/16 01:01 PM
1

She told me I wasn't being what she needed as a husband (something I just took responsibility for) Expect bitch-mode, even if you're agreeing with her she's going to want to spit it out too. Best to ignore. You have just thrown away the one person that was willing to accept his failings and change. Whiny and melodramatic. Don't do this. She might plead to hear your feelings but she actually expects and wants you to be a stone cold machine. Save little tiny displays of your feelings for when she'…
/r/askMRP07/03/16 07:05 PM
1

any sudden changes in me will spark panic and cause escalation Get over it. Sudden or not there will be panic, fear, yelling, clawing and all of that. She'll mistrust any change at first. Later she'll resent you taking responsibilities away from her. Still later she'll fear she's losing power over you. Finally she'll be scared she could lose you to some other female. It's okay, these are all necessary to undo what you've let slide, and in the end both of you will be happier. Remember she's as br…
/r/askMRP03/03/16 05:22 AM
1

These are great situations to start the hamster going in whatever direction you like. Your actions were a great example of IDGAF attitude and you left it cheerful. She might still resist the instructions, but I bet the hamster told her she was being a bitch and should accept your attention next time.
/r/askMRP02/03/16 07:09 PM
2

My wife wakes up every morning in a bad mood... she asked me (like a bitch) to go away... I walked into the other room and waited until she was finished... When she comes back from her cigarette, I get up to go and have mine... She baits me into an argument... You're orbiting her, everything in your story is you reacting to her. You say "I remain in frame" but I don't think you've quite got the concept. It's not "I keep my composure", that's only an outward sign of it. Living in your frame is ab…
/r/askMRP02/03/16 06:55 PM
1

^ There's alot of other answers with more detail but this one has the most truth. Expect nothing until your improvements are visible and acknowledged by her. The fastest way to kick start all of your progress is lose weight and hit the gym, focus on those until your pants start to fall off and you're in danger of ripping your sleeves if you flex.
/r/askMRP25/02/16 06:02 PM
3

I was only half-kidding. I hope some people see quotes from their wives in there and realize they have work to do. For sure mine still has some DD symptoms.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/16 09:37 PM
1

If you're fat and out of shape then you need to attack both problems. Go low carb or keto and you can drop weight pretty quick. Get to the gym and watch your confidence soar as you improve. Bonus: both efforts will give you more energy and good feelings than you think are possible right now. Keep up the good work with better clothes and grooming, her noticing you is an important ingredient. Her believing you're really changing will make her change how she feels about you soon after. The answer t…
/r/askMRP30/01/16 06:13 PM
2

This is a dude and you're a dude. "Hey get your filthy fucking shoes off my hot automobile." I would say this to any bud who did this. He steals your gum? "Nice kleptomania, time to start locking shit up around here."
/r/askTRP21/01/16 01:46 AM
2

The more alpha aspects you had before getting married, the more submissive wife you were likely to find. This probably leads to better results, or at least faster progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 07:49 PM
4

She couldn't care less about having me in her life. This is The Problem, it inevitably leads to: ...her texting her ex-boyfriend For: She's a really, really good liar on the fly. See AWALT. ...divorce is terrible from the aspect of joint custody of the child. Are you the kind of dad that will be happy with some stranger dude raising your kid? If so, lawyer-up and start the big "D". If not, read the sidebar, hang around here and see how to get your wife back - even if it's only for a few years wh…
/r/askMRP19/01/16 07:40 PM
1

As your SMV rises and you learn how to manage your bitch, then the "No!s" slow down ALOT. She will be afraid to lose you. And though you may have made a bunch of progress on your SMV, you have to wait for her public out-loud acknowledgement of it: "Oh wow, look at your arms", "You're fitting into 32s now?", "Did you get new underwear?", etc. That's when you know she's noticed and can begin to use it for leverage.
/r/askMRP17/01/16 04:42 PM
-1

All your details are about you and your wife but I suspect your question is really all about your kids. I think you're asking if you should fake your way through a relationship with your wife to maintain some control over what happens to your kids. If so, I think you can and should do this. You don't day how old the kids are but I'm guessing they aren't toddlers if you were married 19 years. I would definitely make an attempt at being her alpha for a few years if it meant I could bring my kids u…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/16 04:28 PM
1

I bring in those Atkins frozen dinners and keep a jar of nuts in my desk. All you need is a microwave and they are loaded with protein. Less than half the cost of even a cheap lunch out.
/r/askMRP14/01/16 01:58 PM
2

Paying off debt is hard slog, congrats on getting it going. Resolve to pay cash for things while you're going through it. We had some huge medical bills that took us 10 years to work through, add having little kids at the time and we got used to being in debt. But it will wear on you over time if you can't go on vacations or make big purchases. So start some automatic savings of $100 or $50 a month. USAA and Capitol One both have online savings accounts where you can have any amount pulled from …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 01:25 PM
1

Glaze over when this talk starts, if it continues leave the room. If she continues or goes to sleep, leave. Go practice your game elsewhere on someone new.
/r/askMRP06/01/16 08:46 PM
2

Divorce sounds pretty justified and complex, good luck. I'm stunned you'd let her go out of town for NYE without you, and then you only seem mildly pissed that she's extending the trip to get a few more orgasms in. You really really need to read up on TRP and get smarter before you acquire another GF. These ho's ain't loyal.
/r/askMRP02/01/16 08:41 PM
3

Fat centered on the belly may be the beginning of fatty liver disease, which can be caused by alcohol or too much fructose (fruit sugar and half of table sugar). Ask your doc, then cut out the sugar, carbs and the alcohol.
/r/askMRP02/01/16 06:45 PM
2

Yeah exactly. The best dread is when it comes to you. A waitress laughs at your joke and lingers a little too long, a neighbor asks if you've been working out, her girlfriend keeps touching your shoulders, etc. But to get there it takes the body, some game, some interests outside of home life, and practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/01/16 01:54 AM
3

Nah, the "evidence gathering" mindset is an easy place to get lost and lose alot of time. Tell her your terms and start improving yourself. A high value man does not spend his time installing keyloggers, cameras or GPS trackers. He's not a PI and doesn't need one because if she does anything that makes him suspicious, he's gone. I'd still look through her phone/FB/whatever whenever you get a clear chance. But don't make a habit out of it, it's verifying not surveillance.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/15 11:27 PM
1

Yup, the hard part is meaning it when you say no more 2nd chances.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/15 11:18 PM
40

No one else has said it yet but you need to tell her it's "no contact" with this guy or you're gone. She's had way too many 2nd chances already, she needs to know you mean it. I'll probably get some shit about how you should just "be alpha and attract her" but fuck that. She's crossed the line and needs to be flat out told what will happen if she does it now. Toughest part is that you have to be ready to dump her if you find a whiff of suspicious behavior. Once that's accomplished work on your M…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/15 10:32 PM
2

I really made a misstep when I echoed her desire to take a separation. Maybe, maybe not. The beginning of my turnaround was telling my wife that "divorce doesn't scare me anymore" and meaning it. That really sunk in I think. Made her look hard at her divorced friends and see where they are now. recently she said that the separation has aloud her to "appreciate me again". Translation: "I'm not the 25 year old hottie I was. I have baggage. I have needs that require a strong successful man in my li…
/r/askMRP29/12/15 07:55 PM
2

No we're together, but this is what makes me try harder.
/r/askMRP29/12/15 06:05 PM
2

My fear (and the reason I pour so much effort into my wife) is that although I might still be "in my son & daughter's lives", I will soon be replaced by a step-dad and my influence will be reduced, and reduced, and then reduced again. Staying married is the only way I can really steer this ship.
/r/askMRP28/12/15 11:10 PM
2

Yeah it sounds like you've rounded the OI corner and making nice progress towards abundance. She is worth alot of effort IMHO because your daughter needs her real dad that's actually around. I worry about any woman in theater though because she gets constant attention and praise from strangers and lots of time away from reality & home.
/r/askMRP28/12/15 06:58 PM
3

i figured out later it was a ruse for her to jump on our "roommate" which didn't work out in her favour Doesn't this answer your question? Her ship-jump failed and therefore she currently feels trapped with you, fighting and shit-tests ensue. The fact that you'd even ask the question means you don't have confidence you'll find a replacement, you're miles from outcome-independence, and you might have read the side-bar but you didn't believe it. Better women are out there, do you have the tools re…
/r/askMRP28/12/15 03:42 PM
4

Review those divided chores and consider who works longest and hardest while you do. If you're not the one working the hardest then you should be. If she's just browbeat you into accepting too many chores compared to her few, that needs to change.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/15 04:19 AM
1

Agree with everyone else: this requires a solid functioning marriage of several months at minimum. Agree with everyone else: this is completely optional, save for it and pay cash. Don't let the wife or the surgeon convince you to give her more than one cup size bigger than what she had. Watch out for doctors talking in code like "C+" (which means D) and generally trying to get you to approve more volume. Many of his customers are attention-seekers so you have to swim against the tide here. There…
/r/askMRP23/12/15 06:01 PM
1

The outer lips will expand with increased blood flow but the interior of the vagina has nowhere to expand to except to constrict the vaginal canal.
/r/askMRP21/12/15 05:51 PM
6

It sounds like you're ashamed at revealing your divorce, as if you'll be judged a failure. Your marriage may well fail but out of that you are working every day to forge something better and stronger for you and your daughter. The gossip of your separation will pass like everything else, your job is to make the second part of the story much more interesting.
/r/askMRP21/12/15 05:48 PM
1

Three divorces going on in my circle of friends in the same ~18 month period. I made a post about it for r/marriedredpill: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2sf5h5/how_i_got_here_3_cautionary_tales_for_mrp/
/r/askTRP21/12/15 05:41 PM
-4

Nope out of sex midway through it. She'll ask why because no man ever does that. Tell her you can't feel anything, don't be mad, then go about your business. Repeat until she sees there's a problem.
/r/askMRP18/12/15 05:22 AM
4

RP isn't about girls for me, its about being the best me, so yes I am OI. I just don't want to waste the last bit of time in my 20's with someone who isn't faithful... The last bit of your 20s? Dude, 29 becomes 35 becomes 55 and you're still here. There's no wall for you. You're just starting to be a great man. You'll laugh at shit you thought was deep and important at 25. I get it.. abundance mentality... But I failed... I let us both down... I didn't lead properly... I lost my provider / alpha…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 05:08 AM
3

I asked why she wasnt going to reply and she said its almost 11pm and didnt want to get into a convo with him. She is dreading you and you're clearly concerned about the other guys gaming her. Not only are you failing by letting her know you're bothered by this, but you're also failing because you're bothered by this. At least stop the former.
/r/askMRP18/12/15 04:58 AM
7

Putting aside the emotional affair for a sec. She's planning to move out, changes her mind, but doesn't want to disappoint her friend?! WTF kind of friend wouldn't be happy that she saved her marriage? None. Because that's not why. You're not there yet is why she's still planning to go. The shit tests and the giant shit test of her moving out are all checking to see what you'll do. So what will you do if she leaves? Are you OI? It sure doesn't look like it if you're spying on her and you're argu…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 03:59 AM
0

Question: do you use lube? I ask to gauge her interest, she may be performing but not into it. My wife insists she needs lube but magically doesn't need it when there's sufficient foreplay. I had a GF like that, one time it's awesome, the next it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. I finally figured out she was just an expert level faker 50% of the time and noped right out of there. Lube is a great "tell" for excitement. The one that gave my old GF away was a flush after orgasm at the cente…
/r/askMRP17/12/15 12:24 AM
7

And don't resent the FIL, thank him. While you're gritting your teeth to do that, resolve that it won't happen again. Pain is weakness leaving the body.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 04:48 AM
2

Don't 2nd guess yourself just because your T is a notch higher, your gut feeling is what it is. If your choices are to blow it off and let her go, or make a big stink and look scared then blow it off. Think of this as a slow process of making her consider her actions more, not a one-time talk that drills the point home for good. Your goal is to eliminate this covert contract and make her know your expectations, but you can't command her actions. During a discussion about 2 or 3 couples we know h…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 09:09 PM
0

If I don't fulfill all your man needs, there's the door. If I do then send this guy a Christmas card once a year and nothing more. There is no in-between with me.
/r/askMRP14/12/15 08:46 PM
5

Apart from simply improving yourself there isn't much guarding you can do. You are the prize here and the best insurance you can have is that she recognizes your value. You didn't mention her attitude about GNO or the girls she's out with and I think those are important. Does she respect your marriage? Have you told her what respecting your commitment means to you, and what that should look like? At 23 she may not have given it much thought yet. Enjoying flirting with some guy shows the world th…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 05:03 AM
3

I think she's so far gone that virtually any discussion he has will be seen as weakness. Acta non verba until she melts some.
/r/askMRP11/12/15 07:01 PM
13

Six weeks?! Do you think your wife is going to remain captain-less? Honestly I can see my wife being amicable and friendly living under two different roofs for awhile...but not for long. You might be happy getting laid right and left but that's not going to be her strategy. She's going to need a new captain. I hope he treats your kids good. And doesn't drink too much. And doesn't bring his own brood to "blend" in with yours. And doesn't get transferred 300 miles away. etc., etc. I'm not surprise…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 06:35 PM
6

I love the pirate family idea, but the rest doesn't fit this harpy. I've seen women at this stage and rationality has already left the building. Any calm discussion is going to sound like DEER to her, be viewed as weakness and stomped on before he gets 3 sentences into it. I'd stick with the stoic captain who barely speaks but handles his shit and doesn't endure hers, let her chew on that for awhile and start to believe it. I'm guessing 2-3 months minimum. Then maybe she'll let off the stone-col…
/r/askMRP11/12/15 06:18 PM
1

If the RP rule is "don't listen to what they say", then that goes triple for what they type. We'd all call you a pussy if you started a relationship argument with an email. So based on her level of shit-testing, I'd call her out on it: "In the future if there's an issue, please address me face-to-face. I'm too busy to argue via text or email". Then I'd tell her rule #1 is action, not words. If she's got something specific then let's hear it.
/r/askMRP11/12/15 06:06 PM
1

Love this advice. But I think you have some work to do if you're addicted to the attention from women. Flirting via tinder seems like your avoiding in-person flirting for some reason. With just this little bit of info I'd guess you've got the physical side going but little achieved in confidence and game.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/15 05:39 PM
1

Rampage because she wouldn't come to bed when asked? I really feel for the guys stuck with this childishness due to kids but without kids I'd go pretty hardcore on her. My way or the highway, there's the door, etc. If you're determined to keep her or want to use her as a plate while you look for more, next time you come home to silent treatment and/or shit test, put on some nice clothes and head out for a few hours w/no contact. Many things are best handled by progressively withdrawing your affe…
/r/askMRP04/12/15 08:23 PM
3

I got your point but I have no solutions. I do however have a funny dick sleeve story: So my buddy's girl complains about him being small. So he gets some sort of dick extension sleeve/condom that adds like an inch or two of rubber dick on the end. He slips it on when she's not looking, sticks it in and... Nothing. Completely normal sex ensued. She didn't cry out in pain or even comment after. Fucking ouch!
/r/askTRP03/12/15 03:16 AM
1

Yup. This sounds like someone maintaining an orbiter and bending his ear with her whining. Dude sounds like he wants to get laid if the logistics ever work out, a good bet that's all he's after anyway. This doesn't even make into emotional affair territory. Move on and work on your shit.
/r/askMRP03/12/15 02:49 AM
1

Actualize everything you said there and you'll be set. It's easy to say this stuff but it's hard to do it. The gym is always first on everyone's list because self-confidence makes the rest of the tasks easier.
/r/askMRP02/12/15 06:04 PM
3

His point stands then, unclear and dodgy language frequently means some hamstering has happened.
/r/askTRP02/12/15 05:40 PM
1

I'd say if she slips up and lets some of her fear into the conversation then you're just hitting your dread stride. I want her checking my phone, I want her wondering what I'm up to and with whom. Those things show she believes I could be cheating. I'd say keep doing what you're doing and watch what happens. But I also want her to find nothing when she checks up, with no more information to act on she can only turn inward. And now she's considering her own position in life, how she treats me, wh…
/r/askMRP01/12/15 09:05 PM
2

I've gone from twice a month to 3 times a week in about 18 months. I'm sure there are others who have done better but that's where I want it. But there's plenty more I want and the wheels are turning to get me there. And it's all my effort, my changes, my work; nothing came about from discussions with her. So consider this transgression a big flashing warning sign to kick your ass into gear. Get a goal in mind and make a plan for how to get there (read or re-read MMSLP). Remember that the worse …
/r/askMRP01/12/15 08:49 PM
2

He doesn't have to be Chad with married women, he just has to appear a teeny bit more manly in whatever her area of focus is right now. That's enough to get her legs in the air.
/r/askMRP01/12/15 06:15 PM
5

I see someone who is angry at his wife's behavior but not taking any responsibility for it. Why is she looking to Chad for comfort, advice and leadership? Because she's weak, uncommitted and unaccountable? AWALT. Second I see a man who's letting her control the frame. She texts Chad so you respond with divorce papers. But what do you want? Where are your goals and ambitions? If you want to spin plates while a stranger raises your kid then by all means proceed. But if you want some control over w…
/r/askMRP01/12/15 05:49 PM
1

Dread dread dread. If she's such a hothead that she'll swing then I bet she goes nuts if she thinks there's other females in the room that you can chat up.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/15 04:32 AM
1

Recognize that her wandering is part of her nature and is in response to you. Decide if this woman is worth any effort at all. There are a dozen more like her probably within 1 mile of you. She is not a special snowflake, so don't put extra effort in. Regardless of #2 and because of #1, improve. She's telling you as loudly as she can that she wants a strong male presence in her life, a leader and a rock to lean on. So become a more manly man. Get to the gym and knock out several birds with one s…
/r/askMRP30/11/15 09:40 PM
2

You should post to r/askmrp for plenty of married red pill advice. I'm wondering if you've really considered how bad life could get for your child with mommy at the helm. Imagine the kind of dude she's capable of taking home...now picture her catching feelz for the worst one...now that dude is raising your kid 50+% of the time? To me that's unacceptable and the pain of staying with her has to exceed that. If there are no kids I got no problem with "Next!". But you signed up for 20 years of bring…
/r/askTRP30/11/15 06:40 PM
2

Move out, with roommates if you have to. In fact you might benefit from being around some other males instead of mom. Tell her you love her but you need to stand on your own two feet. She'll respect you more for that even if she cries at the time. You're also forcing her to reconsider her position as lonely widow. With some luck she'll come around and find some new path in her life that leads her to happiness.
/r/askTRP30/11/15 06:24 PM
8

LTR of two years just asked for space Translation: There's a new tingle in my pants and you're in the way of satisfying it. (She does have past male friends she stays in contact with). It was just some casual stuff. It eventually escalated to him asking her out. Translation: An orbiter is attempting entry. She declined saying she was seeing someone. She told me about it. Translation: Let's see if that makes him man up I may not have handled it well and was upset saying I didn't feel comfortable.…
/r/askMRP30/11/15 06:10 PM
1

Fact #1: When she was alone at home she likely had sex with the ex. Your description of what she's said since then is text book Trickle TruthTM - she only tells you enough to fit what you discovered and to make you stop asking questions. If you discover more the story will change to accommodate the new facts, but it will always protect her. If she was truly bothered by talking to her ex she'd block his number or she'd deal with it herself. She's not bothered and she likes it. She's a bit worried…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 06:02 PM
5

The "surgery" was an absolute breeze, I think it was less than 5 minutes. Mostly sat around the day after with only very minor achy pain. Next day was feeling 90% normal. 100% after that. Sex wise I can't tell the difference and neither can she. Feeling and "output" are exactly the same. There is a small down side: in your own mind you know you're firing blanks. Freedom from birth control is addictive. It's another small curb on her cheating on me: she'd have to make him wear a condom.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 04:58 PM
6

Yup. They all do this. It's another shit test. "Let's see if this is for real. I'll poke him and watch him crumble." Endure what you think you can but then leave. Really, just go get in the car and drive away for a couple of hours. Wherever she's shitty to you she loses your attention, if she persists she loses your presence.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 02:55 AM
7

Ummm, no sex yet but you're taking her on vacation and she's confiding in you about her STDs? Srsly? Read anything on the sidebar and find how far you are from RP.
/r/askTRP19/11/15 02:48 AM
1

The contractions supposedly sort of suck up semen into the womb Maybe not "upsuck" but certainly "dip" at least. I've seen a video (clinical, not porn) showing the cervix during orgasm, it literally pushes itself down into the vagina at each contraction. There isn't a difference between whether the orgasm is caused by vaginal or clitoral stimulation. That may be more of a case-by-case thing. My wife says there's a huge difference between "external" and "internal" orgasms. She's not really satisf…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/15 07:08 PM
3

My wife takes the kids to visit relatives from time to time, or to a theme park or some other kiddie-fun-thing. No big deal. Like others I relish the time alone to get stuff done. "Girls trips" are another matter completely, but if she's taking a 9 month old I'd guess her ability to whoop it up will be limited. Also my wife comes back with (slightly) more of an appreciation for the things I do. Maybe she has a flat tire or is on kid-duty 100% of the time or even just has to drive for the whole t…
/r/askTRP18/11/15 06:58 PM
3

"I'll get the ladder regardless but send a pic with that on and I'll get it with a smile". (or "pic of that great rack", whatever works with her).
/r/askMRP17/11/15 09:58 PM
4

Here's what i do: Pay particular attention to passing shit tests in front of them. Let them see mom is a bundle of barely contained emotion and dad is a rock of control and amused mastery. Also let them see you taking care of business (while mom just frets about it), getting things done (while mom takes a nap) and improving (while mom does fad diets and socializes). Boys need to see that it's not just attitude but also the hard work behind it.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 01:21 PM
3

When you catch her in a lie what she learns is not: I should not lie to him, but rather: I need to lie better. Keep her lies to yourself, when they are too serious, dump her. Never tell her what you found out so she doesn't sharpen her lying skills for the next guy.
/r/askTRP17/11/15 01:14 PM
1

Precisely. This has been my plan for about 18 months now. I'm working it pretty slow compared to some of the stories I read here but steady & determined. Put MMSLP on your reading list if it's not already.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 01:08 PM
1

FYI Limitless is not on US Netflix or Amazon Prime.
/r/askTRP17/11/15 03:28 AM
2

Heh. Yeah there's another one I believe but it'd hard to design a study to prove it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 03:14 AM
1

You barely mentioned her raising your children. The big draw for you righting this captainless ship is that you'll retain some control over your kid's lives. When you dump her you lose all that and your girls are meeting a "new daddy" every weekend. I think that you think divorce is the easy way out for you, but I think it's much worse than you've imagined. And you've actually got it pretty good staying married while you improve: You can read and learn how your wife and every other woman ticks Y…
/r/askMRP17/11/15 03:12 AM
7

Sorry but I don't think we can argue that women run on feelz and have massive rationalization hamsters, but we're willing to believe their ratings of past men & orgasms in a self-reported survey. Personally I think the vaginal orgasm is meant to encourage pregnancy but I haven't seen a study that can accurately measure that.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 01:21 AM
2

Remember the gym won't do much for your weight, check out r/keto if you need to drop alot asap.
/r/askMRP13/11/15 07:56 PM
0

When Nice Guy tears you down or hints you've been banging his wife, others need to step to your defense. Have you got friends at work or a bunch of folks gunning for that bonus? If there's a backchannel that thinks you slept with the wife then use that same channel and others to affirm that you didn't, have no interest, and are working younger hotter skirts elsewhere. It'll make it's way back eventually. Dial down the alpha & body language around wife and Nice Guy. Nice Guy has a feeling about y…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 07:55 PM
0

Yup. Now keep doing the math: how many dicks she have to suck & fuck before she found a willing candidate? I'm guessing anyone that didn't spit in her face got some to try to get them hooked. And I bet her husband thought he was pretty safe because she's gigantic and few would want her - it really means she'll just try harder and more often.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 07:25 PM
3

"You can't even handle taking out the trash" Dude it looks like you can't. If that's your job and you're not doing it then the best you can do is own up and then fix the problem. Ignoring you is a terrible sign of disrespect, I'd say you have a lot to clean up before you can take the captain's chair. On the other hand I always ask myself if I'm doing something that she can't do. Is the trash heavy and requires physical strength? Or did she just bitch her way into assigning me a job she could eas…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 07:02 PM
1

He was only better in the money category. She lost a husband who packed the kids' lunches, made her coffee, rubbed her feet, etc. More proof women not only don't value choreplay, they see it as a negative.
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 10:06 PM
2

I once stood in line at 16 with a six-pack only to have a priest from my school get in line behind me with his six-pack. Nothing exchanged but smiles.
/r/askTRP09/11/15 09:52 PM
13

You're a placeholder while rehabs the old Chad or finds a new one. Use her in the same way while you find a new GF.
/r/askTRP09/11/15 09:16 PM
0

Downvote because I never had any keggers at 14.
/r/askTRP09/11/15 09:11 PM
0

Point was: there's more to work on besides "lift" and "pass shit tests".
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 07:41 PM
0

This is evolution. She's evolved to allow Chad to impregnate her. We've evolved to not see the signs and not try to be someone else's Chad.
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 07:38 PM
3

Way to not understand this community. We're here to help each other. I am building muscle. My posture was already good. I specifically chose the option that would avoid procrastination. I'm fine with my social environment. T and callouses are doing just fine. Self-esteem is through the roof. So you do it your way, I just added what I needed to add.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 06:30 PM
2

Not disagreeing but in this particular case I think she came by the hypergamy because she was searching for a replacement. She didn't have much of a chance to be a CC rider in her youth because her ex-husband found her at 17. Also 20 years ago the CC was much less overt. She decided her husband was a loser about 6-7 years ago and started looking. She actually found the replacement at a Chuck-e-cheese during the day, so Girl's Nights Out, FB, text-game and Tinder are not required for the hook up.
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 06:24 PM
13

Can I translate this to her mindset? She trapped me with the pregnancy, and for four years I was a stay at home dad who worked part time. "He knocks me up and then sits at the f-ing house unemployed for 4 years while I work my ass off." I had several promising job opportunities working a union job that I passed up to continue caring for my kids. "I think he liked being a stay-at-home dad. Like I'm gonna be the bread-winner forever." She still fucked somebody behind my back "Of course I fucked Ch…
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 06:11 PM
1

You said such a workout will probably lose mass. I'm telling you that OP's method sounds like mine and it works for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 04:41 PM
1

Huh? So the gym only works because it consumes all your free time?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 04:35 PM
1

Not true at all, been doing 10 minute high intensity arms/shoulders/chest only for 4x/week for about 18 months. Noticeable cuts and strength increase. I know I'm going the slower way but my hope was that if the routine was short I would be inspired not to skip and that's worked. A gym built into my office building makes my entire workout only "cost" 15 minutes.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 01:56 AM
1

I don't think I'd calmly explain anything, I'd just leave with a smile on my face. If she thinks your morality will trump her bad behavior then you'll have no luck with dread. You need to find a way around that so she thinks it's at least possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 06:45 PM
10

Hard no's make me disappear and I don't initiate anything after that until she does. No cuddles, no affection and only enough attention to get household stuff done. "You only want me for sex" is her own little pill swallowing going on. She is realizing what she really brings to the table. It might only be childcare and sex. I usually respond with "no I enjoy a nice dinner too" but I've never found anything that turns this attitude around completely in 10 mins. Dread is great but you first have t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 04:47 PM
3

The analogue to her providing you with sex and companionship is you providing her with commitment and attention. First you withdraw your attention, followed by your presence, followed by your commitment if she continues to disappoint.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/15 01:57 PM
4

I will not be dis respected that way, I have asked for you to speak nicely to me, even my own father does not speak to me that way. To tell me I am nothing and that I mean nothing to you She sounds like an immature bitch here, hope she's better in real life. But fascinating that she brings up her father as a male role model. To me this says: little experience with men. I think you've also got big clue about her hamster here. You just leave the room and she spins that into "I am nothing". Your pr…
/r/TheRedPill04/11/15 06:07 PM
1

Nobody likes those giant wall-o-text posts but there's almost nothing here to judge by, hopefully you have more info. A big point of this sub is that drunk captains don't fare well. You were one. Asking that question of you sounds suspicious, but it also could be her seeing your value rising faster than hers. She might have done something, or she might have imagined she could get away with it someday if it happened. Are you dumping her for that? Forget this issue for a moment and imagine introdu…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/15 04:52 AM
7

Cringe and say "ouch" next time he hits your cervix. When he looks puzzled say "little too deep but don't stop". His brain will do the math later.
/r/askTRP02/11/15 05:08 PM
1

If there's opportunities at just 6 months, there will be more. Settle down and put some time in and learn. Imagine explaining your resume if this new thing crashes 6 months later... you'll look like someone who jumps ship at the first chance. That said, I'd also keep looking at those other jobs and evaluating your salary and potential advancement all along the way.
/r/askTRP30/10/15 04:09 AM
1

If you're still talking to her she knows you're still on the hook.
/r/askTRP30/10/15 03:55 AM
15

Yah nobody bets on the Mets winning
/r/TheRedPill28/10/15 04:21 AM
37

Or her guilt might make her determined to fuck your brains out that night. Or she might finally allow that threesome you've been hinting at to "make things even". Or she might just give you the old starfish on the usual schedule to deflect any suspicion. Who knows where the hamster wheel might stop? Point is, you won't know because she won't act like what a man would expect.
/r/TheRedPill28/10/15 04:18 AM
2

In my humble experience it means she has had girl friends but they turned into unreasonable bitches after she fucked their boyfriends.
/r/askTRP26/10/15 02:32 AM
1

This meal is great but it needs more dread. She's waking up that you don't care what she says, and maybe starting to maybe think that maybe you don't care what she does...maybe. So now is the time where she needs to catch you flirting with some younger hotter female. Hamster wheel will come off its axle.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 02:16 AM
7

I think dread is different with an LTR than a marriage. How can she fear losing OP when she doesn't have him? It sounds like there's no kids and we all know how 30 puts that itch into them. OPs girl might just be genuinely depressed that OP will never commit and never have kids and she'll just grow older every day. She's probably just looking for a BB more willing to commit and hanging on until she finds one.
/r/askTRP25/10/15 03:16 AM
8

Using the "are you pulling a prank" angle is genius. It gives you a reason for telling him, it gives you credibility and it deflects her future attempt to blame you as initiator. Bring the texts as evidence and present immediately.
/r/askTRP24/10/15 03:51 PM
3

I'd guess she wasn't planning it so much as being led by a more dominant personality.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/15 03:27 PM
11

Nice job. SIL bashes you because she's jealous of a stable relationship and she wants a wingman for her CC weekend. Maintain frame and drop hints about this. Your wife will decide on her own that you're the direction she wants to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/15 03:25 PM
1

Give the gym time to work. The reason it's number one on everyone's list is because it hits so many of the needed things in one place: self improvement, chicks dig strength & muscles, making guy friends, a hobby and the biggest one, confidence. You didn't mention diet but get off the sugar and carbs and watch your energy and health go way up. Alot of people claim it helps with depression too. Oh and forget about Canada, there are a hundred chicks available near you. I didn't get it until I was 4…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/15 03:28 AM
7

LTR status revoked. FWB is the highest she can go now. Oh and she thinks you're a dumbass.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/15 06:05 PM
2

she still texts an alpha ex when I told her it's a deal breaker Game over then I guess? Use her for a few months as social proof while you ramp yourself up - hit the gym, new clothes, always out, etc. Lawyer up and start moving toward that day. What you can't do is let her defy you. If you said it's over if she contacts then it has to be over. What you also can't do is use her past to make excuses for her behavior. Like because of her CC history she can't resist the call of the alpha. Fuck that.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/15 05:43 PM
2

Very very similar situation as mine except mine does not seem to have ridden the CC as much. My solution was to begin improving myself, either for divorce or for the rest of our lives together. I told her in very certain terms that any contact with her emotional (maybe physical) BF meant divorce. My progress is slow but steady. I'm getting IOI right and left and occasionally from her friends right in front of her. Passing shit tests, being stoic and busy and getting laid. Work has ramped up and …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/15 01:05 PM
1

Tell him! Save future him and their kids alot of heartache. You'll have to witness so much more of this if you don't. But do it anonymously, don't burn your relationship with your sis. Both of them will grow and learn from this. Imagine the same situation a few years from now, she'd be passing off that kid as his...
/r/askTRP07/10/15 05:21 PM
0

If you're worrying about her orgasm, stop, she's loving the pounding. But it sounds like you just want to spice it up and push her boundaries. So get her into it with a couple of minutes of pounding and then go down. Don't ask, just pin her knees back. If she complains tell her you're teasing her and you'll let her cum when you're good and ready. Mine is much more compliant once she's cum once or is about to.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 12:31 PM
6

Your ego is just feeling a little better that it is not Chad. Give the trickle some time, I feel confident there's a Chad in there.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 04:43 PM
1

Hint: yes
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 04:42 PM
2

The child will grow up and have anxiety disorders Absolutely. A wife down the street decided to ride the carousel a few more years. She jumped off the instant the husband found a (younger, much hotter) GF. He took her back. Their kids are huge pile of mental disorders just waiting to go off.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 04:40 PM
3

She is literally a part of who I am The Oneitis is strong with this one Obi-wan. No dude, she is literally not part of you. She's a wife that decided that being knocked up by such a touchy-feely weak dude was so unappealing that she thought she'd try muff-diving instead. She has so little respect for you and yet that seems to be more than you have for yourself. The only thing you've got going for you is that she didn't find a Chad in her circle to do instead (unless....maybe... she hasn't mentio…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 04:34 PM
2

Wish I could upvote this more.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 04:17 PM
4

You're just tripped out because she's female. Think of her as 98% man and maybe as one raised in a house full of women. The one I knew was very good at her job and got her tasks accomplished like very few people I have worked with. I later found out she had been a helicopter pilot in Desert Storm too. She was cool.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/15 11:58 AM
3

I worked with a similar aged lesbian for about 18 months and she was the first older one I have known. I just treated her like a man and we became pretty good friends. I think you just saw someone in the strange position of being able to admire another man's physique non sexually and also be able to ask an intimate question with no sexual expectations. I had the further thought that perhaps there's more lesbians these days because there's fewer manly men to go around. Hmmm.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/15 04:37 AM
2

Wife
/r/askTRP31/07/15 01:29 PM
9

A man can fuk a woman at 12 o'clock and then give the greatest sex to his gf / wife a few hours later. A woman cannot do that because sex is too emotional and connected to the person she's having it with. Ha ha ha! Have I got some women for you to meet. Look up "branch swinging". They are more than capable of it, it's standard practice when they are looking to upgrade. I know some that "interviewed" new men for years and always went home to fuck their husband hours later.
/r/TheRedPill31/07/15 01:25 PM
3

Obvious question: why is she on BC if she's already tied?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 12:54 PM
-1

I guess it comes down to whether you believe she actually loves it and you're just not Chad enough for that treatment, or that she never liked it and only did it to appease a horny boyfriend. I think you should acknowledge that you're really wanting it to her (seems like that's accomplished) and then start applying some dread. Maybe nope out of regular intercourse here and there too. Even if she doesn't like it much she can still do it occasionally to please you.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/15 07:31 PM
2

Menopause is not your problem to figure out, just like her orgasm or her desire aren't your problems either. You can't manage these problems because they are hers - she'll only be annoyed if you try. Your job is to make yourself so desirable that she has to put in the effort to keep you happy. Some of that is being a sexy hunk of manhood, some of that is dread, some of that is being a great provider, etc. I could tell you about HRT doing wonders, or that vitamin E suppositories make a dry vag fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/15 04:24 PM
2

If all else fails on the relationship front, I am going to do this for myself. Because fuck that guy who I was. You got it. Now just keep doing it. What makes it easy is when you realize this is how you should have been all along.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/15 05:38 PM
4

It's important to me to do what's best for them, even if that's not the super-best mega-happiest choice for me. There's your first conflict. If you're going to "stay for the kids" then you have to decide to make it the "super-best for you" as well. You can have both but it takes effort. There's a big long victim puke here where you show us your wife can be a childish bitch. So? They all can be. How many years and how far down the BP well did you fall? We don't know but maybe it justifies her dis…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/15 05:31 PM
5

It sounds like it's going great. Don't fall into the trap of listening to her hamster though: Her aftewards: "That was different. More intense. Maybe you're going deeper since there isn't so much weight on you." She has no idea why she came so good. Ignore such comments, whether they are compliments or criticisms. She has acknowledged that our frequency is up and I need to make it a better experience for us both. Key thing is both. I'm not settling for bad sex. Hamster is telling her she's got t…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/15 03:07 PM
1

You did awesome esp given the outcome. I bet though that your absence did more good than your argument. Experiment, next time the bitchfest is back do 90% less talking and leave (and leave the kids with her more). Your rules are just that, you don't need to - and should never - justify them with an argument. A clear, concise statement that frames it as "how things will be with you" should suffice.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/15 12:16 PM
2

Doesn't anybody seriously consider Newton's Third Law when attempting to dread their wife/gf...? Because seriously, they can/will find it easier than a guy on any given day of the week! This is sooo my thinking in the BP years. They don't work like that. Men are always available so the strategy is about quality not about "getting some". You worrying about her options leads to nothing but a dead bedroom. You displaying your value and increasing it all the time is what RP is all about.
/r/TheRedPill13/07/15 11:24 PM
3

We should start a service that texts sequences like these to your phone. We could snap up posts from Gonewild for the photos. Charge $5 / day.
/r/TheRedPill12/07/15 05:33 PM
2

Congratulations. "You only use me for sex" means you're doing it right. Goes along with "you're not interested in my orgasm" and "you're an asshole". She's just regurgitating what Cosmo told her she should care about, pay no attention to the words and watch what she does.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/15 05:27 PM
1

OP pls
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/15 07:57 PM
1

+1 for posting some links to the ones you thought were the best
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/15 05:03 PM
2

she has a new wardrobe of bras and panties that I know he has never defiled. Now I just need a shiny new undefiled vagina for her too. Size small. Oh and a new pleasure center in her brain, we can't have that one that lit up like a Christmas tree over and over when she came with him. I see that there is no point in dropping her in hopes of chasing after a better woman. It's only a coincidence that that's the easiest, least-effort path for me to take. In all likelihood, all the nice, responsible,…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/15 04:54 PM
7

You want to convert him but you're not converted yet?! Even better, you have an instant gym buddy. Or if he doesn't go, he'll see your progress and maybe see the light.
/r/askTRP05/07/15 10:40 PM
1

Point out his value (esp where it's higher than hers), build his confidence, invite him to the gym or to join in some hobby you have. RP results don't have to come from here.
/r/askTRP05/07/15 09:03 PM
10

You are the prize. Or perhaps you will be depending on your progress right now. If you internalize the RP core beliefs of improving yourself inside and out you will be happier with yourself and attractive to others. It's that simple. If it's too late for your wife someone better will come along shortly. Starting at about 30 women's "value" trends to start falling and men's begins to rise. Get to the gym, start to feel better about yourself, loss weight if needed, start talking to people, find a …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/15 08:59 PM
0

She stated that she needs to be independent. Great, so she wants to hop on the CC until she hits the wall. This means she came. She wants us to remain civil for our daughter's sake. She wants to split custody and she says she doesn't want child support. Dude do you need any more clues that she has thought this through? This was not a random event or poor judgement with bad friends. She selected the thing she knew would end the relationship for sure and then she told you immediately.
/r/TheRedPill04/07/15 02:50 PM
2

Not so sure. You feel horrible because she's not just any girl, she's yours, she's special, she's the One. But she's none of those things. She'll drop you when your future doesn't look as good to her as that new guy at work. But it doesn't have to be about money or fitness or anything really because it's all based on her feelz.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/15 07:02 PM
2

That's what I'm saying. Chew her out and make her fly right, don't just take over.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/15 06:50 PM
1

I feel horrible when I act cold or aloof with her, so WISNIFG should help a lot. We do most things together but I'm trying to split those up a bit too ( working out at work rather than with her at night) just to establish some distance and unfamiliarity. You feel horrible because she's your special irreplaceable snowflake. As you go through your 30s you'll probably start seeing more marriages of friends end in divorce and watch what both sides do. She doesn't think you're irreplaceable and AWALT…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/15 03:05 PM
4

I think it's fair to delegate to your spouse, the ultimate responsibility is yours tho and any excuse is just that - an excuse. I think the proper captain would say that "my wife handles that, I will find out what went wrong and she will get back to you". Then proceed to chew out the wife on her failure. If I just take over every time she drops the ball then she just becomes less accountable and finds more time for Nordstroms.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/15 02:59 PM
1

Congrats on getting your foot in the door, but make sure you close the deal and make her see the changes in you by going caveman in the sack. Dominate, do the things you like, maintain outcome independence, let her worry about her pleasure. At the end of the day she should be saying to herself, "damn that's a whole new guy". Once that's going read Sex God Method and take her to the new places you want to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 05:38 PM
2

we were both two "alphas," and I was the only one really compromising. No you were descending into beta and she was forced to become alpha. If you don't see that yet, you're doomed to repeat it. MRP seems like the wrong place for this question but I'll take a stab. When the women say they would not have gone on date #2 with some sex on date #1 they are actually saying they need "feelz". It did not have to be intercourse, but they had to want you in that way, and they can tell that in a fairly sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 05:23 PM
2

Who cares what they think? You're missing the point if you're concerned that people are whispering behind your back. Do the things that make you happy, include the people who you want to share with, exclude the rest from your attention.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 05:10 PM
2

Yes yes, the gym will give you confidence and energy boosts. Keep up the humor and positive attitude while she watches you improve.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/15 12:52 PM
0

Breastfeeding is genuinely a time of low-libido for women because nature is saying not to get knocked-up right now, many even have no period while they are feeding. So I'd be understanding if she's off her normal game and tired. However, when you say I tell her to go upstairs and get something sexy on and she doesn't and says she wanted me to hear that she is just exhausted and not interested in sex - she thinks that if she had more rest from the kids and housework Then this is starting to sound…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/15 05:23 PM
2

I love my ecig. I know I'll have to give it up at some point but considering that is not even in the same league as giving up cigs was. Ecigs are much less addictive to me.
/r/TheRedPill26/06/15 12:53 AM
1

Completely different dynamic with your girlfriend vs. a wife I think. This is not the place for plate discussion but basically you need to be her best choice in any room she walks into.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 11:40 PM
2

It should be free of convert contracts, accusations and assumptions. For the after the party scenario: "I will not have a wife that enjoys belittling me." She'll argue but don't engage and stick with your simple statement.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 06:17 PM
3

Recognizing that she appreciates you and liking that is not the same as validation seeking. Congrats!
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 06:12 PM
5

FWIW I think our high-carb, low fat, low cholesterol diet is the cause in the west. It robs the body of the precursors and makes hormone production harder. Then it adds 5 lbs per year and settles you into a sedentary lifestyle.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 06:09 PM
1

I'm 47 and I noticed it missing about 6 months ago. I tried the often-recommended zinc but saw no change, then I added DHEA and the morning wood came back 3 days out of 4. Hoping I see better gainz down the road too.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 06:05 PM
2

100% this. Leave. And if you don't have anywhere to go or great company to hang out with then you know what you need to do next. Stuck at a party where your wife is being bitchy? Leave her and go elsewhere. Abandon the hens and go have a cold one with the guys on the porch, whatever. Hell this might even be her strategy for getting you to leave her with her girlfriends. You should be able to communicate your displeasure with a look and your absence. Followup conversations should be short and fra…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 01:09 AM
2

I lost 40 lbs about 4 years ago by cutting out the sugar and the carbs, and kept it off the same way. I've become nearly-evangelical about low-carb since then as well. But almost zero effect on her (except that she knows not put the mashed potatoes on my plate). I've led but she has not followed. About a year ago I got word that my bum shoulder might be fixed with PT instead of surgery. That and discovering RP led me to the gym. 4 days a week like clockwork since then. I got some modest gainz th…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/15 10:26 PM
3

This is sort of the standard RP line ("lead and she'll follow") but I wonder about it. I believe RP can drive sexual attraction because I believe that's a short term goal that can be driven by instinct. Real weight loss and fitness takes a conscious commitment and isn't directly connected to a biological system like sexual strategy is. Not to mention that even a person committed to weight loss will likely not know the correct ways to achieve it. I'd be interested in hearing if anyone has ever ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/15 07:39 PM
1

Reward good behavior with your presence, attention and affection. When the shit starts, withdraw them in that order: affection first, then attention, then presence. Wedding band? I'd calmly inform her that you expect your wife to be proud of being married to you. Then ask if she'd like to be divorced. I'm sure the shit will start there but I'd press for a direct yes or no answer. Sleeping in another room? Fine I sleep better when I can have the whole bed anyway. If the bitchfest continues I migh…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 04:57 PM
10

Personally I think spending your time playing "flirt police" with your wife is a waste of your time & effort. It's easy to spend hours fooling around with it and if you're caught it looks very very needy. Instead I told my wife that if I ever find anything then we're through. Now my wife isn't sneaky or a good liar so her takeaway is that she can cheat and carry on with someone else but it would have to be perfectly hidden and kept hidden forever with zero margin for error. Basically she has hea…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 04:42 PM
10

Read Married Man's Sex Life Primer. Like today.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 12:36 AM
2

You need to make yourself indisputably desirable by other women It doesn't matter what you say to her. It does matter what she sees and hears from others. This is how you dread. You get a teeny-tiny little point if you're the one pointing out some other woman's desire. You get a ridiculous number of points if one of her girlfriends asks her if you've been working out.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 05:36 PM
2

I hate to say it but Chad frequently makes them do things "out of character". You may find that there's already an outside interest at work here and that this job is connected to it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 05:29 PM
6

Add the fact that you probably couldn't find any conversations because she carefully deleted those. She was so worried about it that she made the fake contact. It takes time and much to hide to get to that point. In case you're unconvinced that you've only found the tip of the iceberg, ask her to get you detailed billing for the last 3 months of her calls and texts. Watch her face turn white and all sorts of trickle truth start leaking out.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 05:24 PM
7

Of course she's sobbing. But don't fucking think for a second she's crying over you. She's crying for herself and how her life is in shambles. Re-read this over and over again until you internalize it. This is the true mindset you're working with. That we're all working with.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 05:11 PM
7

Next. She's caught and you should not expect any truth to come out of her unless you discover it first. Yes it's all your fault and you need to rip the beta in you out and become a better man. But without a marriage and kids around I'd kick her out. Logistically I'd sit her down and tell it's over because you can't trust her. Be matter of fact and unemotional. Tell her she's got to go and give her 30 days to find a new place or you'll start on eviction. Talk to a lawyer and see what your options…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 01:52 PM
24

Yup, she's bored. I think she got offered the job then floated it by you a couple of times to get you ready. Tell her this is an inappropriate job for a mother and you won't allow her to turn you into Mr. Mom so she can get out of the house every night (and survey the Chads that come in). Every mom of a toddler is dying to get out and have some fun but not this way. No mention of your RP progress or status but if she's suggesting this then she thinks you're pussy enough to allow it - you got big…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/15 01:53 PM
1

What's your analysis of yourself: Have you been so beta that many women would have also been driven to disrespect you this way? And analysis of her: Is she so addicted to strange cock that she'll never get by with just yours? If you're partly responsible for activating her hypergamy and she has alot of redeeming RP qualities then I'd make an effort to keep her. Otherwise I'd plan the best exit I could with my child in mind and execute it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/15 05:04 PM
2

Another thought to add: this is in front of friends of yours, how does she act when she's completely free?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/15 04:56 PM
2

Dread: Be comfortable around other women. Let her see you have options.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/15 01:04 PM
3

This is the 2nd post I've read where 99% of the advice is that you're headed for a divorce, probably being set up and need to take action. Yet we don't hear of any action taken. And you don't explain why those comments might be wrong. And the only comment you've respond to is the one that offers a tiny shred of hope for the marriage. Give us some details of how you're implementing the advice you've been given, or give us feedback about why you're not implementing. More posts like this are just w…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 06:09 PM
1

I get a 404 on the video link
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 10:23 PM
1

Lead and show her dread in multiple ways. It needs to be obvious to her (and even to an outside friend) that your life is leaving her's behind. That's the only way you'll find out if she's going to step up or not. Career-wise it sounds like you've got a sweet setup right now but where does it go from here? How are you improving and (esp for the IT field) getting ready for the future? The money sounds awesome but ask yourself what skills you'd need to have if that job disappeared, then make that …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 05:24 PM
2

her best friend told her to keep her mouth shut and never tell me When I hear this I think "Look! Look at me being the honest person!", it sounds so try-hard. I have no doubt if she had kept her mouth shut, I'd have been none the wiser... Then if you believe she's the type who could be so overcome with guilt she had to tell you then perhaps there is no "trickle truth" here. Perhaps also if she's that pure then she's really not pushing for commitment. Nearly everyone here has been burned by the t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 08:08 PM
1

Calls me two in the morning, tells me she ran into old friend... Long story short, ended up holding hands and kissing him Why did she tell you? Was she drunk and just slipped? Was there some (however tiny) possible way you might find out? A friend who was there that she might not trust 100%, etc. It's important because because you tell some trickle-truth to dissolve suspicions and distract accusations with minor admissions. But if she offered it up completely on her own with no way you would hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 05:38 PM
2

Excellent, glad to see that you see how huge that is for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/15 04:37 AM
1

That's a dangerous situation, at best she's looking for validation outside her marriage, at worst she's fishing for your replacement.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 09:46 PM
1

I've seen the expression "The Most Responsible Teenager In The House" describing wives, but in this case it sounds like it should be "Adolescent". Remove yourself as much as possible, tantrums are even less effective when no one seems to notice or care.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 04:50 PM
3

Congrats! Constant improvement is what we're after and quitting smoking and taking your body seriously is great step. If she's up for it, tell her she can support you by fucking you every time you feel the need to light up!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 04:46 PM
3

COBOL? srsly? (cough) career deathtrap (cough). Congrats on getting out of that!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 04:42 PM
1

Exactly. Practice in the hallway at work or with the random clerks you encounter. Don't forget posture and eye contact, I still have to remind myself of those. At the same time, talk less to the wife. Let her wonder what's on your mind while you pause to learn to recognize shit tests. Reserve your affection/attention/presence for things that please or interest you. Remove them when she prattles on about what so-and-so said yesterday or treats you like less than the captain of the ship.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 04:36 PM
1

Excellent progress. Remember you have to give her lots of time to both notice the changes and then to believe they are sticking. Your situation sounds alot like mine about 10 months ago. Some dread will accelerate the process. Practice talking to other women as much as you can. Small talk or light flirting. Good if your wife can witness it but that's not always easy. Confidence is sexier than appearance for women so you can work on that while your weight and body make progress. A couple of thing…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 07:39 PM
1

Ummm kids? Are these your kids or hers from a previous? Ages?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 03:08 PM
2

I for one want to hear some of the stories you're talking about. As a dad though I'd want you to demand logic and reason and discourage emotional behavior from both sexes. I'd want tears to get them no special treatment. I'd want you to command respect and demand accountability and responsibility equally.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 02:42 PM
2

Stop being the husband for her to show around, be absent doing other things. Set up an allowance of money for her to operate with if you think that's appropriate to the circumstances. You cannot expect RP results until she has time to see your improvements. Work the dread by being gone and letting her discover your other options for women as much as possible. Let go of your anger by realizing that any other woman you replaced her with would act the same way eventually if they had to live with yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 12:34 PM
2

She expects her words to bounce off you and have no effect. She expects your words to carry actual facts and indications of future action.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 03:32 PM
2

Bingo. She puts almost no stock in words so don't expect anything to change until she can see your actions making a difference. In fact add months for her to notice the changes. Then add some time for you to develop some dread in the form of other women noticing you. Then add yet more time for her to see that too. Take the starfish sex and practice being indifferent about her orgasms. Make sure you are passing her shit tests with solid frame and outcome independence along the way.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 03:28 PM
1

Great outcome though because it also made her realize how her own feelz ruined the night out. She can't blame you and might internalize that she needs to control herself better. And it happened just as you are displaying great control of yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 01:18 PM
1

This. Reading your story I'd have driven her home after the bitchiness set in. I'd pay big money to see the look on her face after you drove off on your own and left her in the driveway. She's railing at the loss of power and trying to test and get it back. Once you recognize that you need to do whatever is required to make her realize your frame isn't changing. Great job maintaining frame just think you tortured yourself longer than you needed to.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 01:18 PM
2

I hate that fucker, he's always...oh wait..I'm Chad.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 04:11 PM
3

Dinner out with me is a no-phone zone: covert contract, or have you told her this? I'm going to drive faster than normal to thrill you: covert contract, or did anything about her mood imply she'd consent to this? I expect the sitter to have the kids in bed: covert contract, or did you tell her this? I expect sex after our night out: covert contract, or have you told her this? Chad Thundercock would have had a great time regardless of his date and ended the night with a smile. How's your SMV? Do …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 12:18 PM
15

The big question I have is why do you want to divorce your wife? It sounds like your attitude is that she hasn't given you enough (covert) reasons to keep her (?). I think your logic is backwards, you need to start by figuring out what you want. See if you and wife can achieve it, if she's the big problem then maybe I'd consider divorce... ...after I considered the other thing. The big thing. The biggest thing really. You have 3 small children, this is not your playground where you can decide to…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 12:59 AM
1

My number one tool is recognizing the cognitive dissonance that is the hamster at work. It allows me to see the things I should respond to and the things I should blow off. I don't see any point in belittling her SAHM efforts but I also don't think it's good to paint it as "the toughest job in the world". To me it's like the plumber or the guy who mows the yard - jobs I can do but I'd rather not.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/15 02:40 PM
3

...and if she refuses or makes excuses for not going then you know it was a hamster-induced "problem" all along. Probably invented one day to explain her own lack of desire for beta-you. I'm about 10 months in since discovering RP, in the last month or so I've started to see actual vaginal juices. The wonders never cease. Those disappeared 10 years ago for us, at first attributed to "allergy medications" and later to "having babies". The real cause was Blue Pill Husband Disease, now in remission…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 04:53 PM
1

Solid advice. I notice that it's the same formula for when you have an overweight child...
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 05:15 AM
3

I only have your description to go on but you sound like a servant trying to soothe her every worry, need and ache. They will beg for that but in reality they cannot respect a man who does it. Remember this is your train, she is along for the ride.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 05:10 AM
3

I ask her how she's doing, and she goes on about her pains and aches. Dear God why? WARNING: This whining about sore this and poor me will continue long, long after pregnancy. I am still listening to this tripe and my youngest is 10 years old. Do not feed the hamster. Smile, say you feel great, say what a beautiful day it is, whining should gain her nothing ever. I asked her how is her health, and she said 'finally you felt like asking!'. Beta behavior disgusts women even as they get used to it.…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/15 05:06 PM
2

Those cookies are her pleading for you to slow down, get a bit fatter and take the pressure off of her. Smile as you walk by.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/15 04:56 PM
2

I felt even worse acknowledging that her physical appearance was turning me completely off,,, like disgusting me. We're talking about 100 lbs here. Do you believe that she didn't know it was the weight? Just curious if it was the hamster telling her she was fine, or a shit test of sorts: her daring you to mention it. I say this having once had a game of strip poker not turn into a four-way because I went completely limp on seeing what 250lbs looks like (the other girl in the group) without cloth…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/15 01:32 PM
1

Feelings are not what make us human, they're what make us animals. Feelings have no spiritual basis and no mystical element, science has revealed them for what they are: immediate neurochemical balances that prompt immediate action in the immediate moment. Exactly, well said.
/r/askTRP11/05/15 12:39 AM
2

To some extent you're like the rest of us here with blue pill friends... You can't force them to see the truth, they have to do it themselves. An impending divorce, cheating wife or dead bedroom seem to be the common causes. Hopeful that reason and blunt action will force him to see.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 11:21 PM
3

I suspect troll too, because no replies to comments in several hours. But anyway... I would advise straightforward dread. Tell your man that your falling apart trying to stay with him. That at some point soon you're going to consider self preservation over the marriage. That you need regular sex. That you need something to be attracted to. I suspect that will go nowhere but he deserves to have the chance. After that start plainly and honestly planning for divorce, and tell him the steps you're t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 02:48 PM
1

Uhhh this isn't the 15th century but you still have to hunt to find a doctor that doesn't regurgitate the 1960s thinking that fat causes obesity and heart disease. People with diabetes are still being told to count their calories and that grains are good for them. I'd suggest r/keto and r/lowcarb too, but it's another thing altogether to blame people when 95% of the food and professional advice they get is wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 02:36 PM
1

While I agree with the personal responsibility aspect of this 100%, I think the reason we see so many overweight people all around us is not entirely due to them making poor exercise or calorie choices. Something has changed in the last several generations. It triggers the same addictive reaction in the brain as drugs and food producers are exploiting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 07:47 PM
2

Exactly what I came to say. I'd add that the extra human being fed is a real energy drain - she may not be "acting like she's too tired". Alot of her sexual strategy is geared around supporting this time period. So be supportive and initiate when the vibe seems good.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 04:39 PM
6

95% certain but you don't explain how? Decide if you can live with her if she did screw some other guy. Decide if your own behavior was bad enough to mitigate it at all. Decide if you want to start dating all over again with another woman who would probably react the same way if you were beta again. Don't bother with hardcore intelligence mode unless your state or country allows that in divorce proceedings. Be patient and pick things up here and there, let her relax and mess up. Or ask her strai…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 01:10 AM
21

Desire is not negotiated. You might get it but you won't like it and neither will she. Read the sidebar material.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/15 11:49 AM
2

Wife: Oh, I know, you're hurt that I haven't recognized that you've been going to the gym for me. It actually does look like you are losing weight. Smug superior tone, self-centered attitude and belittling comment all in two sentences, you have your work cut out for you. The professor is right, this is the sound of the hamster spinning up, work on seeing the amusement in it. You'll need to keep a strong grip on your attitude around that mouth I think. She sounds like she's full of shit tests and…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 07:48 PM
11

No covert contracts, if you expect her to air her concerns instead of go silent, tell her. If you expect her to be happy and upbeat, tell her. Remove yourself when she's not meeting your stated expectations. Up the dread levels if she persists. Plan your exit if she fails all of that. Notice how those are all concrete actions that you can do, not brood about.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 03:35 PM
3

Yeah? I got the flu 2 years ago. So? This is a laziness excuse she's probably been using since she saw it on Oprah 10 years ago. Tell her your expectations and then withdraw if they are not met: affection first, then attention, then presence. I need to do more of this myself, my wife's a slob. IDGAF about her closet but in the kitchen it drives me nuts.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 11:44 PM
3

She openly complains that they have a shitty sex life. Watch out. If you heard that directly she's shopping for a replacement and thinks you might fit. Avoid the area unless you value drama and an angry wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 05:00 PM
3

I love the OI attitude and stepping out when she denies you. I haven't pulled this yet, I've just gone elsewhere in the house. Don't get fixed on coffee shop girl, expand that same banter to whoever you see through the day. I love to practice on people in the elevator or standing in any line with me. I'm an introvert engineer and my wife's in sales. She makes friends in 30 seconds and I know she feels superior because she has that skill. I aim to master it too.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 04:52 PM
2

Apologize or not depends entirely on how chronic the problem has been. If it's rare then she'll let it go sooner or later. Obsessing about the words is entirely the wrong direction, they carry nothing and will only serve to buy you some time. Many of us are here because we thought more communication was the key and we used it as a crutch to avoid action. You don't want her to talk about desiring you, you want her to demonstrate it. Likewise she might be slightly happier with an apology but what …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/15 04:10 PM
2

Lots of good strategy advice here already particularly that you need to work on you and your techniques and outlook will follow. You can only fake it so much when the rest of your improvement is not leading the way. The gym is for confidence and fitness. To lose weight I recommend /r/keto or a low carb diet, it'll fall off you while you're eating bacon and putting heavy cream in your coffee. The alcohol is a problem if you're both mentioning it. Cut back and you'll gain time money and energy tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 04:09 PM
3

"Well how am I supposed to know that, it's the first time you've bought it up!" This is hamster speak for: You're not initiating. You followed that up with an argument/negotiation for later instead of striking while the iron was hot. I'd guess your dread is working some but she's still feeling rejected by it instead of feeling like she should do something about it. Initiate when you want it, not for later. I know that's easier said than done working around a baby and working parents. "I have to …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 12:40 PM
8

For once they have a post they can't say is an RP troll so they are being forced to actually consider it. The comments are from people who's belief system is already challenged by their circumstances, don't expect logic and reason when their walls are closing in.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 07:00 PM
2

It's your face, period. My wife convinced me not to have any facial hair for all of my beta years. I grew a short beard last winter and get compliments all around. I might shave it off in the summer if I so desire. Really it was a little sign that things are different for me now, but her approval is no longer part of the decision.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 12:16 PM
7

...or you've got kids and that's one of the few times she's assured they are not going to come knocking?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 02:55 AM
2

Yup, she's going to have to imagine you leaving and/or with other women. Dread makes that happen. Two little things I did: I stopped explaining who women were that I might mention, I make her ask and then I deflect or give her a short answer. Second I stopped finding flaws in other women I or we know. I used to point out their flaws to make her feel like they were not a threat. Now I say what a nice figure they have or find a compliment to pay them.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 02:52 AM
0

You're still saying "I'll be okay if she decides...". That's great that you'll be okay and you can't control her but you need to come around to deciding for yourself what you want in your life. My wife is on Tamoxifen so I know alot of what you're going through. It's tough working with a strategy that has alot of basis in hormones ...when those hormones are gone. I think of it like: my wife has less of the same as everyone else but all the same wiring and many years of learned behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 11:18 PM
2

I'd add that this is a great opportunity for you if it's just her lashing out emotionally. This is a great place for you to be calm, keep control of yourself and guide the situation. Be rational and do what's best for your family. If she sees you at your best when she's falling apart it makes a big impression for being "the oak" she can lean on.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 05:20 PM
6

You are the prize, start internalizing that. She wants out, fine, let her take whatever steps seem good to her. Maybe she's serious, or maybe she's just throwing ultimatums out there to see if one scares you back into line. Meanwhile you are improving yourself daily, raising your value as hers drops. You need to be the man with the plan, with options expanding for activities, for women, for everything you can think of, right in front of her. If she's not the best place to spend your time, spend …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 04:56 PM
8

Women play dread like grandmasters, 3 smiles and a slight lift of her skirt will get her serious mileage with the husband. But ultimately she just used you, and you're over the moon because of her validation. I'm not saying I wouldn't have a spring in my step too, but you're the prize here remember?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 04:23 AM
8

You seem to think "game" means cheating, it's not. It's actually much harder. Your goal is to let your wife see that she could be replaced. To pull that of you need to be able to flirt and be flirted with in return. If your wife thinks you can't pull in any other women she feels secure in her position, followed quickly by bored with her position. If unchecked her hamster later realizes that no one else would have sex with you and she dries up completely. Game with the ring on? Yes, and it's much…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/15 02:34 AM
2

Great post. I like your spelling out of the 1-guy and 2-guy strategies. And I really like that you point out that she can transition from one type to the other. If she sees you're not enough for her she might go find AF even if she was following a 1-man plan. Likewise if you've found yourself the BB in her 2-guy strategy, you can prove to her that 1 guy can give it all to her.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/15 10:23 PM
15

So the only problem is that you now realize what motivates women and you're scared you can't satisfy that? Does some freak BP step-dad raising your kids next year seem like a good idea? Quit whining and man up. You have a huge advantage now over 95% of the men out there, use it to be the best husband, father and leader you can be. You say you have high SMV but no game? Then you have medium SMV. The ability to flirt and drive some dread are crucial for making her see that you have options. Don't …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/15 09:46 PM
3

I like everything except mirroring her mood. She's not speaking? Okay, actually that's wonderful, inform her off your plans as necessary and with a smile. Giving her the silent treatment back tells her she affecting you. Treating her as normal says you're in charge of yourself. Of course if she's not fun to be around then don't be around her.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/15 09:35 PM
2

Great story. Nothing to add, because you got this.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/15 04:34 AM
3

Lurk here and you'll start to see what you can do about situations like this. Read Married Man's Sex Life Primer. If you feel you have many expectations that she doesn't fulfill, read No More Mr Nice Guy too. I have a similar age son and get all kinds of shit from my wife about discipline. I've learned that my wife actually wants me to be the one to implement discipline, the issue is that I wasn't passing her tests so she did not trust my judgement. So cue her overriding me and undermining my ef…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 05:16 PM
1

To me the Red Pill way of looking at this is that it's our failure as men if our women are not satisfying us. We have not lead them and inspired them to please us with whatever wild act we desire. Maybe your girl doesn't want to swallow, but chances are good that she's willing to for Chad Thundercock. So it's on you to be like Chad.
/r/TheRedPill09/04/15 08:15 PM
5

This is validation-seeking and confirming her body's hold over you. Don't give it unless she's earned some attention in your estimation. Just stop looking. Nothing to see here, move on. Seriously I try not to even notice my wife's nudity anymore because I don't want her to feel secure about how I see her. If she catches me looking I look past her at something, or comment on an odd freckle or something - anything that wasn't sexual.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 04:30 PM
3

Exactly. OP is helping her hamster come to terms with this situation when what he wants is for it to run amok in her head.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 11:51 AM
3

I had the same thought. "Get reacquainted"?! At that point I'd start wondering if she's been riding someone else, but there could be lots of other reasons too.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 05:51 PM
4

She's not a Lesbo. Her sexuality is subject to the same hamster-logic as the rest of her life: insert rationalizations wherever the feelz require them. She missed the hot sex as much as you did, but beta-you gave her nowhere to go for it. The fact that she picked a near-child to cheat with is a powerful clue about her maturity and desperation (and AWALT to anyone who thinks their unicorn would never). What you need to take away is: your value to her was so low, she risked losing you for a 2 minu…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 05:43 PM
10

It becomes alot more about frame and fitness for child rearing. Attractiveness is still a big factor but as the relationship deepens, so do the things women look for. Check out /r/marriedredpill for examples of failure and success.
/r/askTRP06/04/15 01:17 AM
8

He said it's the weight...but hmmm...I probably need a new guy. Pass me that Twinkie will ya? I'm late for my therapist appointment.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 06:42 PM
2

if acting full on red pill all of a sudden would not work effectively because I am not credible Step 1 of "full on red pill" is control of yourself and improvement of yourself, so yes, do that. "acting full on red pill" without the actual qualities of it is just being an asshole.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 06:36 PM
4

I'm not sure MRP is where you should be asking for help. You say you have some RP issues but that's clearly not your biggest problem. Seek help for your mental issue first, when that's as under control as you can have it, then consider RP.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 11:39 AM
3

All the pressures you speak of are self-imposed. I would not go home.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 08:18 PM
1

Agree with the others: she's ashamed at how much she liked it. I'd leave off discussing it at all really until she's more comfortable with her own response to it. I see two choices: she'll either want more or try to get you to stop, either way I'd take it slowly where you want to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 08:10 PM
9

Your posts, over-analysis and half-hearted attempts at RP are all ways to calm yourself by "doing something" about the problem. In your head these serve as substitutes for actually tackling the problem, you rationalize that they are action. You're doing this because the consequences for actual action are tough and scary: You'll have to admit to your family and the world you made a mistake with this woman. You'll have to admit to failing this marriage, and it'll seem worse because it was so short…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 08:01 PM
1

I had this idea too. As a website designer and builder I thought it would be pretty cool and fairly simple and static.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 12:24 PM
2

That sounds like a plan but the problem is that it's easy to slip back into beta behavior especially with someone who is demanding it. Also this bitch is really really trying to dominate you. It's like you decided to learn rock climbing and chose Everest for your first attempt. There are done other nice hills out there that are just as satisfying...
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 01:27 AM
2

The only method I've seen that works with her... Bzzzzzrrrrttt. Fail. This is your life, she can come along if she plays by your rules and makes you happy. She needs to learn what works with you. You are the valuable one, let her worry about how to attract and keep you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 09:24 PM
5

Good job holding frame on not accepting a pregnancy test not done in front of you. Notice you caught her in a lie by holding frame? You passed that one. Tell her you're not accepting calls or answering texts from her during working hours anymore. Work is too important to bring crazy into it. If she doesn't make dinner and you were expecting her to, leave. Head out to wherever you like. It's your time and money, spend it how you want. Accept no calls or texts while you're gone. Your attention and…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 09:17 PM
6

Don't have kids with this crazy chick, at least not until she grows up, alot. You control the birth control. Sit her down and explain her irrational shit will not fly anymore, do not allow her to interrupt you or own the conversation. Keep it short, you are explaining the rules not discussing. Very suspicious of pregnancy after 2 rounds. Demand a pee stick test be done in front of you. Demand paternity test if she is. This is a must-do thing. Don't listen to or give any sympathy for the BS she's…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 12:21 PM
2

Similar cockblocked situation 2 weeks ago in a hotel for 3 days with wife and 2 kids in same room. Banged out a quickie while we were "in the shower". Proud to say we both had the same idea at the same time. Remember to put down a towel for your knees on that hard damn tile.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 03:59 PM
5

Carl in "Slingblade" executed a plan, knowing full well the consequences, because he knew it needed to be done. This is when I knew I was going to like this post... I am not advocating you put a lawnmower blade through your wife's head for throwing a toy. Cuz...some might see that as heavy handed. ...and this is when I did.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 03:51 PM
10

Isn't it stunning? Alot of people found TRP because their own relationship was tanking, I found it because I had several divorces going on around me in the space of about 2 years. All of them were couples that sound alot like the dynamic you saw this weekend. Watch out for that one, the Kino and maneuvering to be alone with you are textbook PUA!
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 07:29 PM
3

It is like I am dealing with a child who can’t talk things rationally. Ummm, guess why it's like that? No really, many women are not brought up to mature much past about teenager level. They have it planted in their minds that some man is going to come along and sweep her up, so no need to bother learning to work out problems, accountability, responsibility, etc. With boys and men falling all over themselves trying to get in their pants, they learn quickly what they can get away with. I won't sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 07:14 PM
2

However, I'm not as sold as much of TRP on the requirement of dread to achieve new girlfriend mode. And yet you're here asking why you haven't achieved the last 10% of your goals... I don't know of any such short-comings.... They may not be true, but if she believes they are then you have something to fix.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:57 PM
3

So she turns you down. What the next most fun thing you can think of? Go do that. With as much radio silence as you can. And never fight back. Always have a good plan B ready to go and do it with a smile when she refuses.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:50 PM
5

Calm down and shut the fuck up +1, stop talking, esp on the phone. Actions, not words.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:32 PM
1

Ultimately, it all just leaves me feeling like a beta schlub who is being used. I want passion. I want desire. That sounds like you want New Girlfriend Mode all the time. I think that's possible with the right attitude and the right woman, but I also think it's rare 10 years and 3 kids into it. What did you think of & do with Sex God Method? I'm slowly putting more dominance in but it'll be awhile before I can put alot of that into place. Possibly. Who knows what's going through her mind. I thin…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:30 PM
4

A few things: You're getting anal & blowjobs and complaining, so right away I think you're maybe wanting too much from her. Plus I hate you. Lots of great dread in the form of attention (even public attention) but that goes nowhere if she firmly believes you could never be tempted to infidelity or divorce. Strong religious beliefs or too much beta given to her maybe? Being locally famous might also make it much harder for you to cheat and get away with it? Is your disappointment a big covert con…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 05:17 PM
3

Intriguing mindset, I will see what happens. If I have bruises tomorrow I'm comin' for your head.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 04:49 PM
2

The email was not just logistics. Trying to negotiate getting her to do more via email/text is weak and she called you on it. I used to whine constantly via text in my BP days, I recognize avoiding confrontation when I see it. Everything else is shit tests. She's in a pissy mood? A&A or relocate yourself. She follows, escalates or won't stop? Remove yourself from the house for a few hours, bump up your gym or time out with the boys, less attention for her, etc. Realize that her shit tests have g…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/15 07:01 PM
2

Cheating mom: "If the man I had the affair with hadn't been black, none of this would have happened." Wow. This is the only thing that even comes close to a regret for this woman. She's zeroed in on the only part of it that isn't her fault. And AWALT but I hope this particular woman enjoys her time with cats now that both men are gone and daughter is clearly not okay with her. I love that DNA (e.g. 23andme, ancestry.com) is going to start revealing these little secrets right & left.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/15 05:58 PM
2

Yes this. I started working out after PT helped me avoid shoulder surgery (lucky I know). But do the PT and demand a good therapist. Talk to them about your goals and I bet you can find one who will give you a plan, all the ones in my situation were into fitness and sports and only too happy to give advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 03:44 AM
0

Google "insulin and cancer" and read awhile. Then Google "what makes insulin". Then ask yourself if you might try that low carb diet again. I'm smarmy because my story and yours are starting to sound very similar.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 02:10 AM
3

I'm shocked that you think surgery to put a band around your stomach is a long term fix.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 02:02 AM
2

Congratulations it sounds like your unplugging is coming along nicely. The thing that jumped out at me first was the bariatric surgery. I strongly urge you to consider a low carb (/r/lowcarb) or keto (/r/keto) diet instead. You'll lose the weight nearly as fast, you'll be in control of your results, and you'll give yourself habits that will pay off right and left. If you've been married 20 years and have an extra 100 lbs then you're almost certainly on statins and/or diabetic, low carb can solve…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/15 07:58 PM
0

This would be my approach, slow escalation. Work around the cleavage and outer curve at first, just casual contact on your way somewhere else. She'll be sure you're going for the nipples so let her learn to trust that you're not. Eventually your mouth takes the same route, avoid the nipples completely. Now she's trusting your touch and it's not setting of alarm bells in her head every time. Eventually you're cupping the whole breast but not doing anything specific to the nipple. From there let h…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 03:01 PM
2

Then at least leave for a few hours the minute she starts her shit tests. Remove your attention and give her little information about where you are. It sounds like you need the decompression as much as you need to inspire the dread.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 02:49 PM
-5

I think her move out talk is just escalated disrespect. Why not call her bluff and move out to an extended stay hotel for a weekend or week? Do absolute minimum contact and tell her this is just for you to get your bearings. Get your gym in, check out the nightlife, etc. I know it's your castle and you should insist that she leave if she's unhappy but think of it as a little vacation with some separation thrown in. Hoping she sees you're serious, willing to leave, feels some dread, etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/15 09:26 PM
8

"Wow, you have time to read articles?"
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/15 04:13 PM
0

She decided to test you with the "I'm tired" excuse, you failed it. Don't negotiate or engage the hamster here. You need to communicate that you don't need her to be happy. She's not in the mood now? Time to go fix that thing in the garage, watch a show or plan that other project. You really don't want to be hurt or spiteful or angry. It's hard to fix this situation by itself, instead it gets fixed over time. For instance let's say you give your attention and affection only in reward for good be…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/15 05:46 PM
1

I'm surprised you had no married takers with your offer. Maybe it's that you're only 31 and the wives are not frustrated enough with the men they settled for (and are currently beta-fying even more). By 35-45 I bet the same experiment will get most of the married ones as well.
/r/TheRedPill19/03/15 01:23 PM
1

Interesting study that shows huge benefits for those who can master delayed gratification: Stanford marshmallow experiment
/r/TheRedPill18/03/15 07:29 PM
1

Honestly I'd have made it clear that sex was first, TV after. But if that failed and grabbing her ass playfully as she got up failed, then I'd leave. Let her sit up for a couple of hours wondering what you're up to after she leaves you horny. Your talk of dread level 10 at this stage seems really angry and looks alot like covert contracts. She tested you, you failed. Learn from it and quit with your unspoken expectations.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 07:18 PM
1

+1. I scrolled down to see if anyone else was going to comment on this point. Great insight.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 07:04 PM
1

My wife has some clear-ish discharge the day when she ovulates and for a day or so around it, you might check for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/15 05:24 PM
1

Yeah and my attempt would get right back to my wife who would consult the other hamsters in her circle and much resistance would ensue. I decided to slip him an anonymous copy of MMSLP but I have not figured out the logistics of that yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/15 11:14 AM
5

She either thinks you have no options or doesn't care if you leave. If you think things are over then use this time to start flirting with other women, practice your game. The social proof and preselection you have right now are valuable in getting attention from other women. Implement the rest of RP for yourself and I bet the wife responds, if she doesn't you're ready to start with someone else. My neighbor and his wife had a deadbedroom for 10 years and she told anyone who would listen that th…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/15 01:57 PM
15

There's not alot of detail here but it sounds like your wife got hurt over her own expectations not being met (covert contract anyone?) and your solution is to work on it and try to be more of what she wants (or says she wants) in the future? Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding the situation but it sounds alot like the beta behavior that got me here in the first place.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 03:58 PM
1

MMSLP and Sex God Method. I really like the discussion in MMSLP about the brain chemistry going on in sex and dominance. And if things are going well you need to get her addicted to you and only you as much as possible. I'm talking about the oxytocin released at orgasm and the hormones she gets from your sperm. I might be too much of a scientist about this but it rings true to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 04:36 AM
2

I wonder this too. My wife keeps the social calendar and plans alot of the vacations. It feels wrong sometimes but honestly I'd work until I dropped if she didn't drag us all away once or twice a year. Anything more complex than a dinner out is always cleared in advance though. I don't think who writes the checks is as important as the decisions about money. If she's deciding how much you have to spend on X vs. Y then I think I'd have to do something about it. But if she's just doing the monthly…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 09:49 PM
2

It will definitely help you to flirt more, especially if you wife sees you doing it. But even just for the practice in maintaining conversations, passing shit tests and seeing a different side of the women in your life. There's always room to improve your game.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 09:43 PM
1

Hurtful words are a shit test plain and simple: "Can I change you with just these words?". Your words are remembered because they come from a source she respects. She expects her words to be forgiven or forgotten because they were simply a means to judge your frame or pure emotion. This should remind you of interaction with a teenager...
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 03:29 PM
2

You can only get her to do what you want by improving yourself. Full Stop. You really don't want a half-hearted BJ from a whiny woman who's convinced she's sick anyway. You actually want her hamster to tell her she wants and needs to satisfy you and keep you coming back for more. Dread and outcome independence are the prescription. Achieve those by being absent, passing her shit tests, and her seeing you have options for sexy time.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/15 03:47 PM
4

Once I recognize the shit test it becomes amusing for me. My wife's frequently come about because of her own hamster or inability to use her time well. Example: "I don't have anything for dinner so you're going to have to stop and get a pizza". I used to get angry and stop for the pizza but now I just say I'm not doing that and smile. I recognize that she's like child trying to push off her responsibilities on me, and so it's my job to teach her.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/15 07:00 PM
12

Perfect thing to let hang in the air. She was dying for you to give her some way out of it by validating her laziness or confirming your undying love. Nope.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/15 05:21 PM
1

I think you worry too much about your wife's emotions and she uses that to break your frame. She wants you to break down and probably gives you shit for it as soon as you do. You need to outlast this tactic and I think the way to do that is not to care. She's snippy about everything you say because you haven't opened up to her? Ignore and get out of the house. If she presses you and you feel like it, restate whatever has disappointed you like an adult and tell her there's nothing more than that.…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/15 01:53 PM
4

Ugh, how do you do it with a straight face? My wife (a SAHM) complains constantly about how stressed she is, how busy her day was, how overwhelmed she is. It's all I can do not to laugh at her 2-3 item 30 minute tasks that she lists for her whole day. It's hard not to get angry sometimes when you listen to all the "stressed out" talk and then hear there was a 2 hour lunch with her GF too. Even if I can pull off a "wow your day sounds so busy" without vomiting, aren't I just validating her hamste…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/15 06:30 PM
5

"Isolated", "uncaring", and living in your own "bubble" sound a whole lot like you're doing all the right things. This child goes silent or sulks and expects you to respond, adults don't do that. I think you're doing fine with ignore and attempt normalcy (quick kiss now and then). When she accuses you of not caring (after she finally starts speaking again) I'd say she needs to act like an adult if she wants to be treated like one and then disengage.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/15 02:30 AM
2

I like very general advice: you can only control yourself, not her the only thing you can do about cheating is make yourself more attractive tell me how you were when you two met
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/15 05:02 AM
1

She selected you precisely to save her from her emotions. To lessen her anxiety, or ignore it or point out how silly it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/15 04:30 PM
1

This is it. I can't upvote this again, so pretend I restated his points right here.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/15 02:07 PM
3

Confrontation and discussion gets you zero and costs you plenty. Think about it: she'll assess that your concerned about your prowess in bed, she'll bury any porn star mode she had, and she'll hide her FB messages from now on. Your only option is to improve yourself so she wants to do whatever she thinks you like to impress you. Combine with some dread and it becomes an imperative to keep you. This is a great example of where what seemed like a great victory is actually a sign that you have much…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/15 05:49 AM
6

She is testing you right and left. These are huge because it shows that she's seeing the change and wants to know if it's real or some stuff you'll back off from when cornered. Show her it's real by passing and staying the course. This is good news, not a reason to change anything. No sex? Or you want to be pissy about the lights and ruin the mood? Okay, I'll find something else to do. After you fake that once or twice you'll find you aren't faking, this is outcome independence. Nothing wrong wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/15 12:14 AM
2

It sounds dangerously like her anxiety about your job has spread to become your anxiety. So not only did you fail to deflect/ignore her worry, you took it on. Now you're nervous and regardless of how your work turns out, you lost respect points with her. Her concerns were validated when you responded to them and even more so when you took them on. You were not a rock of assurance and stability. This sub is filled with men (like me) who failed in controlling their wives anxiety and it always ends…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 11:58 PM
2

No idea if she was closing her eyes picturing him, you might not even be able to tell that. On the chance that she did get revved up thinking of some old alpha cock, what is your response? Are you happy with the leftovers or do you want her going into porn star mode for your cock?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 11:39 PM
7

So, yes, these men are lost. Don't become one of them. Exactly my reason for posting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 04:37 PM
1

We are not nearly as good at getting a lazy woman to suddenly start working out. I think getting them motivated to put out is easier than getting them motivated to work out. I think it takes dread and the realization that she can be replaced and isn't as valuable as she was in her 20s. Check back with me in a year or 2 and I'll know if it's true ...for mine at least.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 02:51 PM
2

As I go along I think being her rock and being steady in frame is the most important thing. It answers the question of how can that woman be happy with her overweight or unemployed man. Without frame you're just an asshole.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 02:47 PM
2

Stop listening to what she says and watch what she does. Her hamster will make her say all kinds of messed up stuff like "I don't feel anything for you". Women change their minds and feelings on a dime and expect to be instantly forgiven for past deeds or words. So don't take any stock in her words, she doesn't either. She's approaching the wall but I bet she still thinks she can walk out and score a good replacement in 6 months, and sadly sometimes they can. Read the sidebar and do the things. …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 02:00 AM
2

I can't upvote this more. Read while you drop the weight and get strong. Keep your head down and concentrate on you. If the wife says anything your answer is "I'm making myself a better man.". It's impossible to argue with but she'll try. Find a buddy to get beers with or somehow hang out with. Talk to him about your problems, not her. Watch the birth control carefully, if her hamster sees you improving she might decide she needs to lock you down. So sorry about your dad.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/15 01:19 PM
7

Freedom from the obsession of getting laid was part of the reason to get married in the first place! I feel like I wasn't getting my share of the contract for the last 10 years or so. Much better now.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/15 01:49 AM
3

she didn't appreciate me From what I've seen, women don't appreciate like men do. Like "love" it's a word that both sexes use but isn't the same to both sexes.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 06:51 PM
2

In the good old days "Plan B" was just 2 regular birth control pills taken 12 hours apart. In fact Plan B is just 1.5 mg of Levonorgestrel, that same ingredient is in all birth control pills. link
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 06:30 PM
4

I'm not insecure about my car but I still check the oil now and then. Nobody wants their life to get turned upside down. It's not beta to checkup on her, a good captain takes care of his ship.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 06:21 PM
4

This times 10. You have so much value already and you need to realize that. No debt, no kids, healthy & young, soon to be in great shape and you know the secrets to finding an appropriate mate. There's a big difference between understanding a system and being good at using that system. Get strong, get some hobbies, get your career in focus, keep reading. Use this time with your wife to learn to handle shit tests, use her for social proof in front of other females, heck use her for sex if you thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 06:10 PM
1

Just to add about the pee thing. My wife's friend ended up getting therapy for her vaginal muscles. They had a session where they taught her how to work her kegels and then sent her home with what my wife said was "a big hard dildo" that she was to use during exercises. There's also a surgery for the pee control problem but I'd take exercises over surgery anytime.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/15 06:22 PM
2

Bring a pad and pencil with your questions written down in advance and take notes on the answers. This screams "I'm a serious & concerned husband" to the doc. No jokes or snickering about anything. Offer to wait outside when she undresses (probably optional) and during the physical exam (doctor will probably require this). You should be able to sit down with Dr and wife after to discuss what s/he found & suggests. There's nothing different about this than any other serious doctor visit except th…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 11:14 PM
3

If she's not complaining, why are you? I'm only half kidding. Give her time to get used to the new you, but she may never be a screamer. Here's a thought, when she sees you selfishly using her body and doing whatever pleases you, she'll someday decide to do the same? Or maybe when your dominance is more established you start to drop little commands on her like stop mid-stroke and don't continue until she tells you what to do, or whatever floats your boat. FWIW, my wife has 2 completely different…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 11:07 PM
4

Ha ha, TRP would say "Next!", and if you think we're graphic... But I like your plan. Implement for 6 months and see.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:33 PM
3

accept her past An awful lot of RP will tell you that this is a fairly new & feminist idea, much like alot of your own training that you're currently rejecting.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:25 PM
4

The bitterest (is that a word?) part of the RP is that AWALT. If you believe you've found a unicorn then you have not swallowed it all yet. I don't mean to be such a downer but I'm being pessimistic because you're not hitched yet and can reconsider. I married someone who was hitting the wall at 28 and that I had orbited somewhat for a few years. She's a mild case next to yours and 14 years later she still sometimes tells me the story about getting picked up and banged like a ragdoll by one of he…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:06 PM
8

Serious cringe at your learned behaviors I feel the need to point out that you are clearly her beta-bucks plan B guy that she's kept in orbit for over a decade I also cringe at how much alpha carousel riding she's been doing in the Army I love your results so far but overcoming those 3 things may be a long hard climb. The books will help you maintain this LTR but since you're not married yet you really need to think about it. Read some of the stories here of guys struggling with only half these …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 05:14 PM
3

Think smaller: post us an example, read, apply results, repeat.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 01:30 PM
2

This, so much this. She'll realize you can provide beta bucks via alimony.
/r/askTRP23/02/15 05:38 PM
2

If she chooses not to reconcile the children might cramp her style anyway, push for at least 50% custody and I bet she doesn't fight hard, trade money for it if needed. The 40+ singles are dying to meet a decent guy who can hold down a job and be responsible1. Your biggest problem will be sorting through the flock that comes your way. 1 Q. What's the best pickup line for a 35 year old? A. "Hi"
/r/askTRP23/02/15 05:33 PM
7

The parallels between this and drug addicts are not a coincidence. You're dealing with someone who's gotten high over and over again without you. At this point she might even believe that only a new man can provide the excitement, so no one guy will ever keep her going.
/r/askTRP23/02/15 05:27 PM
1

Haven't you answered this with: Emotionally, I am a wreck You can't continue this way unless you plan on conveniently dying in the next year or so. Similar scenario happened to a couple my wife and I know. She kept cheating even when she knew it was not smart for finances/kids/life to do so. The hormones in her brain have her trained and you can't give her another "hit". Serve her papers, that will get her attention. The attorneys can give you both a realistic idea of what settlement will be lik…
/r/askTRP23/02/15 05:19 PM
4

She's at the beginning, playing tit-for-tat with mysterious outings. Very important that you don't rise to her bait and even wonder what she's up to. Keep up with having your own life and not being obvious about inspiring dread. Basketball game with your bud, beers after work, stopping on way home for some hobby-related thing, etc. Break the daily routine with: your absence, as few details as possible, and something that you need/want to do anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/15 09:53 PM
6

Ignore. Her lack of confidence does not interest you and is unappealing. The night before the trip see if she packs one or brings it up. If she asks about it tell her to pick the one that made her ass/tits/whatever's-your-favorite look best. If she doesn't ask and doesn't bring one just look vaguely displeased and leave the room. Anything more and you're trying to get her to please you instead of inspiring her to want to please you.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/15 09:46 PM
2

we're usually already in bed by that point That's a problem right there, she's got the tired excuse built-in when it's bedtime. Kinda hard to go caveman if you're sleepy too. Can you find time during the day? A nooner maybe? Or early in the morning before the rest of the house is awake?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/15 11:13 PM
3

Such huge steps for me: 1. Recognize the hamster. 2. Do not engage the hamster.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/15 01:32 PM
1

I like the 15 mins of bitch time max plan. Nothing to do with red pill but make a list of items and then a contribution amount for each for each month. $10 to the carpet fund, $35 to the new dishwasher fund, etc. Let her see the balances monthly.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/15 11:15 PM
5

You did X 25 years ago and you didn't do Y 20 years ago so now it is obvious you hate me. Heh. Classic wife-speak.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/15 07:59 PM
3

What about some comfort with a minor pressure flip: "Of course I won't leave you if there's any complication. And of course I'll go if things are going smoothly. Don't you know this family means everything to me?"
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/15 07:57 PM
1

Good point. I was assuming that with 4 kids and one a toddler, she was getting run ragged.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/15 11:57 PM
1

You found a solution: wash & fold. For the cost of a couple of lunches you can get a month's worth of laundry done in like 24 hours. Carve out $X for it once a month and take it in on your way to work. You're not doing it for her but she'll get something else done around the house too because the laundry is taken care of, so win-win. If she balks at it say you'll stop when the youngest starts going to school. While you're at it dump the lawn too if you can afford it. In fact dump any task you do…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/15 06:14 PM
5

And worse! You spread her bitching for her to your Mom & Dad who tried to oblige you by going. You are scared of your wife. Don't ever expect to have any control over your life until you get past that.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/15 05:54 PM
1

You can let your guard down around trusted friends, and at home in small doses. You just have to know how she sees it and so limit it.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/15 05:48 PM
1

I think you might have bought that game works on women but choked on the rest of the pill. She'll never be your soulmate you can open your heart to, none of them will. And despite what she says, she see that as weakness. All you want her for is sex? Yes, thank you. And add supper to it for tomorrow. We're not saying that because we cruel men who just like to fuck girls, we're saying it because that's really what the women want. That and childrearing is all you'll successfully be able to use them…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/15 03:25 AM
4

I see trouble when she decides the baby needs her at home but that she also needs those things from Prada. If your job won't keep up with your needs I'd address that ASAP because the clock is ticking. I also see trouble if the parents subvert your power in the family by giving her free childcare and offering a soft landing when she considers dumping you. Give up keeping the baby stuff separate, you will eventually anyway. You can't go tit-for-tat and raise a child.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/15 09:59 PM
2

If you're swallowing the pill you'll find that AWALT. So whether this marriage goes sideways or not, the next one will go the same way if you don't change. Given that this chick is going to be raising your son or daughter I'd make "D" the last choice. Another trick is trying hard to make the marriage work but not letting it show - making it look like your plan all along. Likewise don't ever let her know you want the marriage to work for the child(ren) - they translate that into "I can do anythin…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/15 09:30 PM
7

Nurse! Get me some MMSLP in here quick, this guy's coding! Oh wait, nevermind there are no quick fixes. Seriously get the MMSLP and start on a plan. Realize that the force is strong with this one though, most women hold out for a few years before they begin the deadbedroom. Realize also that you've selected a woman who has smacked right into the wall and you may have some time before she sees how her value isn't what it used to be. Finally, you picked a rich one with poor spending skills which m…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/15 08:55 PM
1

MMSLP, slip it into his life somehow. Even if he thinks it's a big joke he'll be forced to consider things I'm sure he hasn't yet. I feel like we should make a Q&A website for men that are contemplating marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/15 12:29 AM
3

Use the starfish sex as a chance to begin some dominance. Just a little at first: grab her hips from behind, put your hands on her neck, let her feel your strength and muscles any way possible, throw in a command or two. My goal is to push the boundaries but not so far that she stops me. This gets easier over time as I lead and get stronger and she gets submissive. Use that dread, demonstrate your value on the market to her. My own little dread value scale is: Random person points out your attra…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/15 06:18 PM
0

Repost this to r/marriedredpill
/r/askTRP15/02/15 03:52 PM
2

Okay thanks for the gratuitous threesome story, now I'm pissed I didn't spend my 20s better. Go read MMSLP. Realize that you have to lead her if you want her to follow, improve yourself over the next 6 months. Start passing her shit tests. Start having a life outside the house without her. It will take some time but she'll have to keep up if she wants to keep you. If you don't, switch over to r/deadbedrooms to see your future.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/15 08:47 PM
3

Boundaries have their place but be clear: RP isn't about setting controls on her (that she's too uncaring to impose on herself). RP is about making you so valuable that she sees anything outside those boundaries as crazy to even consider. She censors her own behavior because she doesn't want to lose your affection/attention/presence. Conversely the straying and inappropriate behavior you're seeing now is because she doesn't fear your absence.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/15 06:21 PM
4

Not sure that I am better than her now Dude. That little sentence is the source of all of your problems. She respects you exactly as much as you demand, which seems to be zero. Are you posing for FB photo after photo with other women? Of course not, you're not a needy attention-seeker. Are you having an affair you won't own up to, even when obvious and caught? Are you unable maintain commitment and honesty in a relationship? We espouse pretty high standards around here but you outclass this woma…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/15 06:13 PM
5

I don't think your wife and this guy are just friends. I don't think she was a good girl on her 2 month trip, and I really don't think she was a good girl when she left you the first time. That you tolerated this is why you are where you are now. You need to get to a place where you can imagine being without her and jealousy proves you're not there yet. She knows this too and uses it. You don't give us enough detail to tell you how to proceed. My guess is that she can't resist seeing other men a…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/15 05:28 AM
5

Agreed, this sounds too much like validation when she's not been good first.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/15 06:17 AM
13

If you're angry at her remember that it's you that got you here. Failing shit tests, body fitness issues, letting her control things we should, not being a rock for her... Channel that energy into a workout, get out of the house and be absent, get some subtle dread going, get some spiffy clothes, don't answer every question, leave her wondering what you're up to, who you're with, where you are. But mostly be patient and look for signs that it's sinking in with her.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/15 06:15 AM
4

I know where you're coming from. I get the duty sex still and I've turned it down at times too. I've got two suggestions: pick a time when her normal excuses are absent. For me this means middle of the night or if she's tipsy, kids not present, she doesn't need to get up early etc. I don't mean only then can you have sex but you eliminate her excuses to herself then too, so she enjoys it more. Second, take the starfish sex and add a little bit to it each time. A little more pounding, add a spank…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/15 02:11 AM
2

Or maybe she is, but you're not respected/captain/leading/alpha enough to her to let that pass ...yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/15 05:37 PM
4

First thing I thought too. You'll know her personality best but I only see two choices for bringing it up mid-stroke: She's pissed about your wandering eyes and can't get it out of her head She's somehow turned on. Maybe she wants a threesome. Maybe she wants to fantasize that those girls can't have you. Or, my best guess: maybe she wants you to treat her like you would treat them (e.g. "I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again" - Kid Rock). If you suspect she's not pissed then I'd wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/15 05:33 PM
8

Confront the GF but only in terms of respecting your relationship. If you mention any action she did then she simply defends or hides that. Leave the dude alone, your problem is with GF, not him. There will always be more like him waiting for a chance or driving a wedge.
/r/askTRP09/02/15 06:08 PM
2

This is true. I have friends who are 90% of the way there naturally but they fail shit tests constantly and get only slightly better than beta treatment. I have others that pass the shit tests with ease but they dress awful and carry 20 extra pounds, so they get the starfish and wonder why.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 01:10 PM
2

Yes yes this. I would recommend MMSLP to start. For instance if you had left her with no information other than "I'm going out", her brain would have had very little to work with and she'd start wondering where you were and who you were with. She'd factor in that you're horny and that she turned you down for even a crappy handjob. She's be alone putting the kids to bed and then alone in her own bed. A tiny taste of life without you. Add you looking good with new clothes, a sculpted body and a mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 12:55 PM
6

This is true and even with smaller issues. Your attention and affection and even your presence are rewards after good behavior, never done in hopes of getting the good behavior. This is not cruel or mean to her, it's her standard method of operation, she'll recognize and respond to it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 05:09 AM
6

Send to her that you're hanging out with some friends after work, then radio silence.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 04:59 AM
2

Can't get my wife into it but I thought X-Art videos were well made and hot.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 05:44 PM
3

It sounds like you're doing many things right but I wanted to point out that you bringing your dread to her attention so obviously diminishes it's value alot. You want her hamster working on this problem, not her discussing it with you. Best if she can discover other women in your circle on her own but I know how hard that can be to engineer. If you have to drop hints, make them as subtle as possible and move on from them quickly so she can't ask about them. Give it a try next time and see if sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 03:35 PM
2

"This is your call honey, I know you'll pick a good one." "You are so much better than I am with color, I liked both the ones you were looking at." "Well, we've got $xxx for it so as long as it fits I'll leave it up to you"
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/15 05:59 PM
2

I think you have to continue the Captain analogy and realize that there are some things that women flat out do better. I'm terrible at picking colors and decorating, my wife isn't great but she's better than me. I get bored quickly at kids events but my wife can spend hours at a birthday party for a 9 year old and have a great day. It seems to me a good captain would use these things, not try to overcome them. I think the bookshelf is perfect, you spec'd it needs to be whatever size, she finds o…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/15 01:12 PM
3

I appreciate the post but I had a hard time discerning what the actual research and conclusions were through the author's cute language and "translation".
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/15 05:55 PM
2

Zero. Can't even tell anything is different. The explanation I got was that very little of the ejaculate is actually sperm.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/15 06:08 AM
5

Fake that Outcome Independence until you have it for real. It helps me to remember that I am the prize now. When we were 25 the prize was anything decent looking with a vagina. But now its a man, a real man with a job and a track record of taking care of his shit. You're the prize, don't forget that and don't quit improving it. It also helps me to remember that it's all about improving me so I can control everything that matters. Lastly remember that if you really do these things and she still d…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/15 08:59 PM
2

Got mine after the 2nd kid. Easy as pie really. No complaints from the wife either since she never has to deal with BC again.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/15 06:04 PM
2

It sounds like it. Sometimes that just normal female competition, esp on FB. "Look at me pulling in Chad Thundercock!" "You go girl!"
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/15 05:57 PM
2

Great post. If it were me though I'd think my wife might have mentioned the great pounding she got to her friend... that got her thinking and the long hug just came naturally from that.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/15 12:49 PM
4

The instinct to "mate with alpha" is deeper than the "find beta provider" instinct. If something about the loser can set off her tingles that will override. I've also seen infidelity as a shit test. She basically dares her current mate to do something about her affairs as she makes them more and more obvious over the years.
/r/TheRedPill02/02/15 05:57 PM
2

I think she'll only miss you if you haven't proven to her just how valuable you are with improvements everywhere. An "alpha" without that is just an asshole.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/15 09:29 PM
2

Your story is almost exactly like mine. I'm about 4-5 months in with RP. I'm getting comments on my muscles and much better frequency on the sex. I still have the starfish about 80% of the time but that is slowly getting better too. The next time I see no interest I plan to quit mid-stroke and see what she does. I'm actually looking forward to it because I think it'll make a big impression about where my standards are now. I think you have to just keep it up and remember how much BP stuff you ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/15 07:17 PM
1

I think it depends on your wife somewhat. For mine dread and social proof are huge. Now that I'm looking for it I see her anxieties about other women all over the place. But even so they are not a switch that makes her drop to her knees and unzip my pants.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/15 08:47 PM
1

I had to train myself to stop giving away affection. It was a covert contract of mine that I would get some in return. So now I only give it after she's demonstrated some and the rare random bit of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/15 08:44 PM
1

In my case I flat out said "Divorce doesn't scare me anymore." Conversation ground to a halt while she processed that little nugget.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/15 08:40 PM
6

I read your part about dread and wanted you to remember that it doesn't have to be about flirting, cheating or threatening divorce. Subtle dread is simply letting her know that you could leave her, and that you do have options out there. I used to find a way to reassure my wife about every woman I came in contact with. I'd say they were ugly or bitchy or whatever to make her think I wasn't interested. One bit of dread I've added is simply not doing that anymore and not omitting their names from …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/15 05:34 AM
3

I'd say get yourself in position before you bring it up again. You should be unquestionably the leader of the household. If there's a dinner party with 30 of your friends there she should be 100% sure that she has the best man of the group. When you're there tell her what you want.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/15 05:12 AM
1

Her blowups and outrage are that you're daring to ignore her hamster. That'll go away when she respects you more and has to decide if something she's got in her head is worth bothering you about. When I'm confronted like this I might say "you're not making any sense, we'll talk later", not angry, just matter of fact. If she persists I leave the area, maybe even leave the house. You won't have to do that much once she gets that she can't pick a fight with you over nothing. Remember it's her anxie…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/15 09:32 PM
3

I'd say she was trying to clue you in after the first kiss and you didn't seem to get the message. This makes me think you're giving away affection, either for no reason or because you're going to get some later. I did this for years before I learned that affection is a reward to her for good behavior, and only comes after. You listed off some RP things you're not doing (body, clothes, money) but then you're confused why she might not respect you? Bump those things up on your priority list over …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/15 07:55 PM
8

Congratulations on being able to "game" women but this does not make you a man. Make a decision either to try and honor your marriage or abandon it. No mention of your son, what sort of childhood does he deserve? Is that even in your thoughts or its it all about pussy attached to a skinnier body?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/15 02:03 PM
1

When she asked "why did you leave me like that?" that was when the hamster appeared. She knows why, you know why. I would have disengaged right there. Everything after that was the fruit of an irrational argument. It's a huge burden lifted from me recognizing that she's actually anxious about the situation and if I respond then I'm really saying "there's an issue here, you're right to be anxious." Leaving, not engaging, A&A are all ways of getting her to see her irrationality rather than worry a…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/15 12:51 AM
1

The reason we can't answer this without more detail is we can't tell if the problem is really her behavior (so call her out and expect better) or is it your reaction to it (AWALT, get over it) or something else entirely.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/15 12:34 AM
3

Exactly. It'd be great to have awesome game but it takes practice and recognizing the tests when they come. Easy if you're a natural but slow and plodding if you've got so many years of BP past like me. Having said that though, I'm happy to see results (some small some not) in only about 5 months of trying.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/15 10:13 PM
8

And bonus points because I showed my daughter that Mommy's shit test failed and how a good man spins it to his advantage.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/15 03:54 PM
3

Your post sounds pretty out of place here and I suspect it's because you're so depressed. I suggest you talk to your Dr and change your meds because they are not working. Once you recover some perhaps you can be weaned off of them. I didn't see any occupation mentioned but you need to find a job doing something you're good at and can succeed in. Obviously that's going to be hard when you have zero motivation. Bringing in some of the money every week will do wonders for your self esteem and impro…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/15 04:46 AM
1

I'm already a believer! Another way TRP is like carbs-are-bad is that it's nearly impossible to get people to see it. In the case of food, I have coworkers that are literally killing themselves and no amount of doctors or friends are going to make them give up their cookies.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/15 04:27 PM
5

Interview with NMMNG author: http://www.knowledgeformen.com/podcast-dr-robert-glover/
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/15 01:09 PM
1

The other "big reveal" I have had in my life was about the food I was eating. Good Calories Bad Calories and The Bitter Truth changed how I think about food, heart disease and cancer as much as TRP changed how I think about women.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/15 01:04 PM
2

Well this is easy, which one do you want to do more? But seriously only #3 falls into the category of making you a better person/pursuing hobbies. #1 and #2 might disappoint because you haven't yet begun to improve yourself (gym, frame, clothes, etc). Read. MMSLP was a good start for me because it helped me understand the why of how women act. I think that helps reduce bitterness. For instance, orgasms and being dominated release Oxytocin (love & bonding hormone) in the brain. So a couple of tri…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/15 06:12 PM
1

I feel like he needs to be called out on a stupid move like leaving food out. Not nagged but at least told he's made a mistake.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/15 12:57 PM
0

If the problem is weight, working out might not be the best way to go anyway. Get her to go along with you and start a low carb diet. Her occasional workout should be enough to maintain tone and stamina. But if not, maybe get her a female workout buddy. My wife loves gossiping with the neighbor for an hour while they walk a few miles.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/15 12:32 PM
3

Yeah wondering too. My status is currently "awesome" or "asshat" depending on who you ask.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/15 04:45 PM
2

She doesn't give a fuck that he's fasting! So give her answer a woman would "yeah right? He shouldn't starve himself!" Oh I like this better than my own answer. Basically A&A her protests.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/15 03:00 PM
8

Agreed, ignore as long as you can. If she persists tell her it's inappropriate to discuss him privately with her. Expect her claws to come out about you though, you're threatening her happy ways.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/15 06:48 AM
1

Uhhh, that was a previous GF from 20 years ago, I didn't put up with it. And when the wife tries a more subtle version I don't put up with that either, even BP me recognized that.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/15 12:26 PM
1

Yes she is begging to be questioned about what she did. Instead of that, focus on how disrespectful such things are.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/15 07:16 PM
5

I agree we have to trust that you know best what happened and what didn't. I do think she's trying (hard) to point out her value and that she could have landed another guy. I think that part of her actions needs to be ignored, but it needs to be said that you won't tolerate her girl's night out if she's going to disrespect your marriage when she's out. If not then she builds on that experience and next time it goes a little further. I think confronting her and finding out all the details of her …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/15 07:12 PM
2

I don't think anything happened because there'd be a much better cover story for the night's activities...one that got no where near a single guy. I would not interrogate but I would let her know that your wife does not flirt with other men, allow them to engage in public, and does not let them pay for things. It's as simple as respecting your marriage. Make sure it's calm and nothing is brought up that she can argue with. Then lose those last few pounds, get the haircut and some sharper clothes…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/15 06:07 PM
1

...but you're keeping it's name secret for national security?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/15 07:48 PM
7

Look up trickle-truth because that's what you got about her affair. I'll go out on a limb and say she fucked him, probably more than once, and probably the whole time you were arguing about it. I'll go even further and say that her sudden interest in sex with you was probably her worrying about being pregnant from the other guy. Let's look at what she learned from your responses to her: My husband won't find out unless I'm dumb enough to post about it publicly My husband cares more about our fam…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/15 07:04 PM
8

Successful dread is displaying your value. You can't expect to get results if you haven't taken care of the basics like improving your body, controlling your attitude, better clothes, etc. You can leave the house all you want but if she thinks there's no way you could or would find a willing female option out there then it's pointless. You can sabotage your own dread too by giving affection too much or too often, or declaring your unconditional love, or your own obvious dread of her options.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/15 06:35 PM
2

Actually I do. It doesn't help me much because she's 46 and on medications that mess her cycle up - it's very unpredictable lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/15 12:35 PM
2

Where I have trouble is deciding whether to ignore and leave or explain why I'm not engaging. If I say "when you're like this..." or "you're not making sense" or "you're repeating yourself" her sleeves get rolled up and she digs into that to fight about.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 09:01 PM
3

My wife is this way too: out of town or holiday/birthday is automatic sexy time. Maybe I need to rethink it but I always took it to be her training me. Like "See, if you take me out for special things, I'll fuck you". I also has a previous LTR that did this very obviously, if 99% of the evening went perfect I'd get laid. If I forgot to open her door and told her no at her 5th drink then no cookie for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 08:53 PM
4

I'm so ashamed of how many times I calmly engaged the hamster when my wife did this. Thought I was being attentive and calming and adding rationality.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 01:11 PM
2

Whichever one of us initiates it's a slow process. She'll say "I figured we could get some tonight" at like 6pm and then there's a 50% chance of that happening. Even when I initiate there always seems to be some little diversion that she has to do first. She sucks the spontaneity right out of it. I'm only 6 months in to RP but these are the things I'd like to work on now. It's a tough climb after 13 years of BP behavior. And the frequency is going really well now. About 3 times a week which is j…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:08 AM
1

An excellent point.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/15 03:13 AM
2

Mostly women dropping off at school. Women feel comfortable expecting things of their daughters but will "baby" their boys if allowed to. And if it's my wife, she'll come home and bitch about it after!
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/15 10:24 PM
1

I heard more detail about your arms than I did about the "shit storm" of "lost frame", so not much to go on. Her anxiety is going to increase as your SMV improves and you need to prove to her that the frame is improving too. This will be the thing that puts pressure on her to keep up with you. Dread is proof that you're attractive and very useful, but she will think your SMV is only "skin deep" if you fail shit tests. She "doesn't feel appreciated" means you're probably expecting more of her, wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/15 07:16 PM
2

I've helped my wife through two bouts of serious illness with several surgeries and continuing harsh medicines. I came to disagree with alot of the comments. I would continue RP behavior, because what she wants from you has not changed. Yes I would use a fine gauge in recognizing shit tests though. I would definitely want her to have faith in the strength of her man in all ways - especially now. Being too beta adds to her anxiety. I agree with being the leader of her therapy. Research everything…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/15 06:43 PM
4

The comment was that they are attracted to 20% of the men and I think it's true if we're talking about the nearly-instant first-meeting tingles. The other 80% are getting laid but it's because of duty, or she wants a kid, or she's willing to overlook flaws (for now), or she's allergic to cats...
/r/TheRedPill16/01/15 06:16 PM
2

Dude sooooo much analysis for so little action. Stop questioning yourself and wondering what subtle games she's up to. If you're horny make your move, if she turns you down, learn to walk away and continue your day. Don't whine, don't be hurt but do try again next time you like. Maintain your positive outlook, discuss less and act more, and read, read, read the sidebar materials.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/15 10:22 PM
1

I think they all had some but whatever they had was bled out of them by failing tests over and over and trying more and more to overcome that. We may say AWALT for alot of things but I still place alot of blame with these women for the deceit and cheating. It's their failing to not be honest about how they felt.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/15 08:54 PM
2

I remember the legions of dudes who had not had sex in a year or more who were surprised- SHOCKED I SAY- that their wife was having an affair. This is why it's hard for me to read /r/deadbedrooms. I see where I was going and where many of my friends are going. You want to scream at them but it's pointless. Best I can do is lead by example and drop subtle RP truths as hints.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/15 04:53 PM
1

I think you're making a huge mistake because it sounds like you've already decided to forgive her. We can debate whether infidelity is forgivable under certain circumstances but I see nothing here that would begin to excuse her. As I learn more I see her as trying to branch-swing up to a new man, instead of a desperate reaction to a marriage to a BP man. She consciously broke her vows, while of sound mind, over and over again. Then she hid that from you for as long as she could. You could easily…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/15 06:16 PM
2

Deleting call logs and records is standard operating procedure, nothing surprising there. You certainly can't say she got lost in the moment when there are 10 meetings. There's every chance the 2nd contact from him was her asking for more and him refusing because he's now married. She saw him 10 times but only fucked him once?! That sure sounds like trickle truth BS, she's telling you more because you might know how often they met. Didn't cum in her is a joke. She probably forgot you knew that d…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/15 06:26 AM
4

Like the rest of us you have a lifelong task of maintaining to do, as long as you're coming at her from a position of strength I think you'll succeed. RP might hate on it but only because the burden on you is greater than with any other woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/15 07:38 PM
2

I don't think anyone confesses without a reason and I only see two for her: the guilt was eating her up and interfering with her enjoyment of you, or someone else was about to expose it anyway. So much of marriage is about patience for me, nothing stays hidden forever so for some things I wait and see, poke and prod, see what stirs up. Without kids involved I have a strong impulse to "next" her. I hate it but anything less sends the messages: that cheating can be okay, that you're not worth her …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/15 07:12 PM
2

Why is this on MRP? There is nothing about RP included in your story and this sub is generally for married folks attempting to integrate RP into their lives. My story has alot of similarities to yours and I'll tell you what I did. I decided that RP explained alot of my wife's behavior and that of lots of other couples in our circle, esp the ones divorcing. I decided to make myself as much of a RP man as I could. Lose weight, hit the gym, develop outside interests and hang out with friends, devel…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/15 01:38 PM
5

I'm wager that 24 out of that 25% are on anti-depressants because they complained to their primary care - in other words not really diagnosed and never sought therapy. Encourage your wife to see a real therapist and get a real diagnosis before she starts trying to fix her brain chemistry.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/15 08:11 PM
1

Never underestimate the power of the hamster. She's simultaneously thinking that you're a nice person she wants to do things for, and that she needs a new man. This does not compute to BP ways of thinking but makes perfect sense under RP: I love my provider but I need alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/15 08:04 PM
2

If she's leaning towards divorce your only recourse is to do the same. She's probably looking to branch swing up and has found herself a new provider. If he provides better or the same and is slightly more alpha, you're sunk. If she gets dumped when he realizes what she's doing she'll be back. I would assume she's already ridden lots of cock looking for one that might commit to being your replacement. On the other hand if she's trying to dread you with feigned support for a divorce it seems like…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/15 04:32 PM
3

To build on this, MRP is not a strategy to get you laid more. It's really a complete change in you. You see "Outcome independence" and "dread" and "lift" and you get the concepts but they don't appear or really sink in for you for awhile. And it's even longer before she believes them and maybe even longer before she reacts to them. RP works quick at a bar with a new girl but you have years of BP behavior to erase. Settle down, learn to enjoy the gym, your buddies, your life outside of her. Prett…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/15 12:32 AM
3

My wife will do this too, she'll load up the schedule completely if I let her and then turn it into a relationship issue if I balk. I try to let her know ASAP that I'm planning to do X tomorrow to cut this sort of thing off. I agree that this was a success overall because she reacted more calmly than she has in the past. I think I might have said that I can't respect her feelings when they don't respond to reason. I think I would have left when the tears started. This is one day of house cleanin…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/15 03:19 PM
0

You being an open book to your wife says that you haven't completely realized that you're not a team of equal partners. Like me, you probably want her to be this fantasy partner who can hear your deepest thoughts and fears ...and yet still think to herself that she has a solid rock of a husband who will handle whatever comes. She can't do that.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/15 05:07 PM
2

Well don't lose sight of the fact that this was a victory as you expected much worse. It takes time to change yourself and much more time to impress that on her. It seems like she's a wild one but is responding to your changes so keep it up!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/15 12:37 AM
2

This exact thing happens to me too. It can get complicated to decide what's a reasonable request and what's encouraging her bad behavior. In your example I can see getting the stuff for the reasons others said here. But what about if you're not at the gym but on your way back home from work? After a long day? And what if the items needed are things she forgot to get 2 days earlier? And what if she forgot because she stubbornly refuses to make a list despite you prodding her many times? It's usua…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/15 04:38 AM
5

They are saying that you keeping control of yourself will only get you so far, eventually you will have to get her to behave too. Prepare for that. It sounds like you feel you need to be that steady rock for her right now to improve your value to her, I'll go along with that for a short while. But soon you need to start setting boundaries and demanding she act like an adult and a parent. Going out on a limb because i don't know the situation: Being pissed at you and throwing tantrums might actua…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/15 07:25 PM
4

No iPad? No TV? Crank it up a notch: bedtime an hour earlier, favorite foods gone, study all afternoon after school, confine to room, spankings, etc. Acting like an adult also means respecting authority. I disagree with the comments to engage your wife, probably no help there anyway. Instead let her know that disrespecting her mother will lead directly to consequences from you. You are the captain and insubordination in the ranks cannot fly, period. Demonstrate to your wife how respect works, do…
/r/askTRP05/01/15 06:56 PM
5

> feels guilty, and is serving you a woman to appease her hamster This goes for for three ways and any casual hookup she approves too. If she's letting you fuck some new pussy she's probably rationalizing that it makes up for her cheating. Particularly if she doesn't seem into it. Particularly if she seems to have arranged it. You're not getting lucky, you're already cuckolded.
/r/TheRedPill05/01/15 06:44 PM
2

She says "Can I get a kiss?" I ignore it and head into the bedroom to round up the clothes. This is where it's so hard not to be upset. With my wife this is actually a test to see if you're being butthurt and whiney. If you are, you lose, and if you give the kiss, you lose. But it's pretty tricky to pull off something in between, best I can do is ignore or change the subject. I'd trade 1000 pick up lines for some good ways out of these "hard no" situations.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/15 06:27 PM
1

Re-read comment above this one.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/15 02:31 PM
3

Uh-huh, don't forget AWALT
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/15 07:10 PM
6

The only answer to another guy is: "There's the door." I let mine know that there would be no 2nd chances though. She has to control herself, your job is to give her excellent reasons to stay faithful. Frame control is tough but it's everything. I like to stop every now and then and ask myself if I'm reacting to her, if so I stop.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/01/15 06:57 PM
1

Also, go with her to the next gyno appointment- in fact, make it for her and go with her. This is not normal, although it is common. This. My wife clams up in the presence of a doctor and gives me almost nothing of what they say when she goes alone. Make a list of your questions together and bring it along. This has the added benefit of showing her that your sex life belongs to both of you. You didn't mention kids and if I did the math right she's 27. If you don't have kids yet then it's got to …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/01/15 06:46 PM
2

Much better title: Shit Test...literally
/r/MarriedRedPill01/01/15 06:27 PM
1

I might have left it there then or given her a book or two to give him. RP looks pretty whacky unless you're ready for it.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/14 07:26 PM
2

If you're determined maybe you should have approached your sister instead. She sounds RP enough to go along with the fundamentals and if she's frustrated with his lack of leadership (and impressed with your skills there) maybe that would work. If it helps any I got here because RP explained not just me & my wife but several failing marriages in our circle that made no sense to me. You don't have to necessarily see a problem in yourself to buy into this understanding of women.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/14 01:24 PM
3

First point: Jesus Christ. This morning I woke up but wanted Cheerios. But then I realized I didn't have Cheerios. Still laughing at this, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/14 06:59 PM
3

There's a reason hookers don't kiss. It's easier for women to separate what their vagina does from where their heart is. Imagine how difficult it'd be for us to perform duty sex ...but they do it with ease. The kissing is important, it's the difference between enjoying the act and enjoying you. Mine doesn't kiss me much either but I think it'll happen, that's how I'll know I'm doing it all right eventually.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/14 06:45 PM
0

Excuses? This is not even my post. I was pointing out that "take charge", "be consistent", "man up", etc are great for an overall attitude but not very useful to real world problems. I assume OP has read at least some of the sidebar material but can't see how to apply it to some situations.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/14 06:29 PM
3

Get an alarm clock. Stop relying on her and teach her to wake herself up. My son achieved this at 10. Boundaries. Work time is for work, period. Get her used to that and you'll both be happier. Send her a good morning text if that's your ritual but let her know you're working for both of you and it requires your attention. Don't reward bad behavior. Your attention and affection are rewards to her. Don't give them if she's acting like a child, hanging up on you, being demanding, etc. Just ignore …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/14 05:24 PM
1

This sounds great and works well if I'm alone but my wife undermines many of these steps with inconsistency. She feeds the dog from the table, gives in to the kids' whining, etc. She's not actively trying to thwart me but the kids have learned to harass mommy to get whatever it is. This leads to a tired fed-up wife and lots of arguing. Telling wife to be more strict gets nowhere. Telling wife that I'm trying to make our son into a man and teach how the world really works helped but only with him…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/14 05:06 PM
0

If you'd asked this in r/marriedredpill you'd see lots of confirmation, this is the heart of "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome. It's tough to A&A without slamming the other dude and ignoring isn't a great solution. Basically you're stuck going along if it's something she brings up repeatedly. So do it but adopt it as your own: bring a bro and a flask and make it a party, or get into it for the exercise, etc.
/r/askTRP29/12/14 01:43 PM
1

Outcome independence isn't an act you play to manipulate her, it's how things really are. I could take a roll in the hay right now or I could return some of these Christmas presents. I'm no more worried or concerned about the selection than I am about whether we have Thai or sushi tonight.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/14 03:05 PM
3

You have to realize how much power you have. She's concerned about looking at other girls because she thinks she doesn't look as good. This is tripled when she's on another continent! Let her wonder what you're up to. Refuse to have that conversion and hang up if she persists. Tell her that her insecurity is unattractive. Find other interests and when she whines and bitches go do them. Withdraw your attention and affection when she misbehaves.
/r/askTRP23/12/14 01:59 AM
3

I think what she's really doing is getting a weeks vacation for you both regardless. I think I would not have taken it just in case she wins - I'd hate to have my wife bringing that up for next 5 years. In some ways I'm jealous because my wife is not the sharpest knife in the drawer... but then there's times like this one where I'm glad mine is fairly simple.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/14 01:45 AM
3

Some of "pick your battles" is about division of labor though. In other words don't push your choice for every little thing, you have to cede some territory if you're going to live with a woman. E.g. let her decide how to decorate (within reason). This can be a great thing because you can end up with a nicely decorated house with the big 60" TV you wanted planted right in the middle, etc. BPs take it too far and let their woman run everything, including them after awhile.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 01:06 PM
1

Sure cut her some slack. But flip the script you're running. She's not deciding to move back, you're deciding whether to let her. Tell her in definite terms that you're willing to try a date but she's not coming back to live there until you're convinced that she can handle the new you and be a stable parent. Meanwhile find yourself a sitter and an option or two. You may have found RP but you haven't swallowed it if you're waiting around on her decisions.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 05:40 AM
0

Distant is what you have to be right now to keep the impression going that you have things under control. It's important that she isn't able to affect you with petty arguments or emotional outbursts. As she begins to believe in you again and see that you are going to lead her to good places, you can add back your presence and affection as you see fit. It's just flipping your behavior from doing great things for her in hopes of getting her affection, sex, etc. to doing things for her after she gi…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/14 05:26 AM
1

Yeah I figured out a girl I was dating was faking orgasms sometimes in part because her vag was dramatically different at times. Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
/r/askTRP20/12/14 04:12 PM
1

This is a simplistic answer but it's true: Keep your attitude, dominate, or be absent. And being absent means you're not available for phone calls or texts and she's maybe not entirely sure where you are or who you're with. I know you said you're Christian but dread is important. Figure out a way to communicate that you could leave. I told my wife (after a few divorces in our circle) that "divorce doesn't scare me anymore". That had an impact. And I used to minimize other women by painting them …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/14 04:07 PM
2

Tightness also has to do with her interest. Blood swells an excited vagina.
/r/askTRP19/12/14 02:30 PM
1

I agree you need to get out with hobbies, friends, etc, especially now. The hamster will work overtime during pregnancy because she's so vulnerable, it'll do twice as much good in half the time. The failure with her pestering you while driving (this is one my wife does too) is that you're letting her emotional state infect yours. This is one of those questions where the only way to win is to not take it seriously. When you respond you validate her concern and escalate her level of worry. Ignore,…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 01:35 PM
3

Text answer: Dude. Was busy. Never met your girl. Glad she's gone, just drags you down. Text me when you want to go catch a game.
/r/askTRP18/12/14 01:22 PM
1

Is the sex better when you're on vacation? With 2 kids under 4 there can be a real issue with her being tired. Is your birth control 100% solid? She may be worried about coming up pregnant again too. Also I agree to stop worrying about her orgasm but I know that's hard to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 05:53 AM
2

I'm on android but I use "love cycles". Is pretty good but my wife is very irregular so... I'm with MMSLP though, I think if she's horny for me when she's ovulating then I'm on the right track.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 05:41 AM
1

I love this post. So much of my wife here, especially the volunteering you for some duty and the railing against loss of power. You see here how the emotional frame they carry can override logic and even evolution (risk to child to try to keep some power). This is the same "logic" I've seen spilt up good couples, lead to cheating, etc. Great report and great job keeping your cool & focus throughout.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 05:30 AM
3

Another possibility is that those affairs she had were not just emotional, and she feels guilty. So without damaging herself by confessing, this would let you two be "even" in her eyes. Another thought is that she's feeling around for how satisfied you are. If you bite on this offer then she's got an answer. My last thought was that she wants to fool around with the girl too and this is her roundabout way of getting a threesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 02:02 AM
8

I was thinking to downvote this as I read the first sentence but this guy is right. Stop whining, especially to her. Fix your stuff. Demonstrate, don't discuss.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:02 AM
8

The upside to doing all of the RP steps is that you're improving yourself all along. So even if the marriage doesn't work out, you're still ready for applying those same principles to dating. I started with Married Man Sex Life Primer and liked it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 02:08 AM
4

I came here to say this too. Use this time to improve yourself, to improve your body, your game, your career, your attitude. You have some social proof going when you're married so use it. Once you get where you want to be, you may find the wife enjoys the new you. But if not you're ready to get out there.
/r/askTRP16/12/14 02:27 AM
1

The gym isn't required for her to lose weight. Maybe changing your diet together is a better way to get her attractive to you again? And maybe once she's skinnier she'll be more willing to exercise?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/14 01:33 AM
1

There are graduated weighted beads you can buy that she can use to strengthen her kegel muscles. They are recommended as an alternative to the surgery I believe your wife had.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/14 01:05 AM
7

This. I've been there and it's nothing you should have to deal with in a marriage. It might be fine now but what happens when some legit trip puts her within 100 miles of this guy? Still got your frame? Of all the (mostly BP) stuff I said to my wife nothing mattered except this: how do you have time for this? She was spending significant time conversing with this dude. That's stealing from you and your family, regardless of the content.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/14 05:09 AM
1

I guess we're thinking of different situations. My wife is incredibly anxious when I'm highway driving. "You're too close to that truck!", etc. Calmly saying that I'm doing the driving and everything's alright has done nothing. Telling her to drive for an hour does the trick. She quickly gets "tired" and I hear much less grief.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/14 06:12 AM
4

Her n-count is non-existent. (<5 due to a logn marrage thats just ended) ...as far as you know. So, I believe this is mostly a mistake with immediate attraction that she is heavily regretting. Do NOT make excuses for her. The sex was consensual. She had time to think it over. She made a choice and you were not part of the equation. There are only two choices here: You can either make her regret what she did by leaving her, or you can signal to her that it's okay if she gets fucked by other guys.
/r/askTRP12/12/14 06:18 PM
3

No, the main focus that you don't tolerate cheating, she's got to go. A logical next step after getting her out is to work on improving yourself.
/r/askTRP12/12/14 06:12 PM
1

I guess it's in the delivery? I'm not mad about it, it's a fact. And I follow through.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 12:37 PM
2

Am I the only one that says, "you're right, I'll let you cook/drive/whatever next time"?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 01:31 AM
1

Why is everyone down on this? I have plenty of situations where my summary is "this is bullshit" and using the camera to make the other person realize it or stop is a great idea. I think it is amused mastery to show people their arguments or whatever are ridiculous. What he's really saying is "I won't even engage your stupidity but here's what it looks like".
/r/askTRP11/12/14 01:04 AM
3

Consider yourself lucky that your wife is curious enough to check up on you. If she's wondering what you're up to then you have dread game working already. Also you have a back channel to her hamster that might be useful.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/14 07:49 PM
1

Yes yes, be s rock. So tough when you've been told over and over that they want you to share your feelings, be affectionate, etc.
/r/askTRP09/12/14 11:43 PM
2

Alot of advice here to stop all beta behavior but that doesn't work for marriages. I had to: Stop doing affection when hoping it would get me something and only do it when rewarding good behavior. No butthurt & no anger at bad behavior, just withdrawal of affection and attention.
/r/askTRP09/12/14 07:32 PM
1

I'd never reveal that you're checking up on her, that looks so needy. Any problems with her behavior has to come back to yours. You suspect she might be vulnerable to someone providing some validation, so doesn't that suggest you need to be the one providing it? Just a dash more beta, and only after she's earned it?
/r/askTRP09/12/14 06:36 PM
2

I hoped for some fitness and loyalty test examples and responses but your story left out all the details. You yelled at some chick that your wife didn't lie so wife fucked your brains out, okay...huh?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 03:37 AM
3

I don't hang with or have sex with other women, my wife doesn't have guy friends, it's simple and it works. I was going to comment exactly this. I have to be beta enough that she doesn't need them. She has to be slutty enough that I don't need to go elsewhere for sex.
/r/TheRedPill09/12/14 02:41 AM
1

You'd know best but if it's a power play for her you have to deny her this. Offer it after sex or if you're in the mood but never at her demand.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 02:34 AM
3

Upvote for science, I'm an engineer too. Also great idea to try out the kinky stuff during ovulation.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 01:33 AM
3

If she's into it what makes you think it's pity? When is it during her cycle? If it's about a week after her period stops then she's ovulating and naturally horny. Maybe you're not asserting yourself? Maybe she could care less about your needs? If you're sure she's not getting it elsewhere then it's time to start checking yourself and comparing to how you were when you met. Start your own thread and give us some details.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 12:13 AM
1

One thing that jumped out at me: you cut back on the affection when she withholds? Turn that behavior around. You only do the affection after she gives it up. You decide how long to keep it up after sex (I do about 8 hours). Don't reward bad behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 12:07 AM
3

Have you tried? I can't tell you how many times I've A&A'd or given non answers to my wife since I learned this. She might persist by asking the question a second time but I just use a different technique to dodge it. This leads to avoiding whole pointless discussions and arguments. This leads to maintaining boundaries and frame. Yes she knows you dodged the question, so what? If your pressed tell her you like talking about real things. Or that it's so great being here. Or how you can't stop thi…
/r/askTRP08/12/14 04:43 PM
5

Texting is for logistics only. Make a date.
/r/askTRP08/12/14 01:53 PM
30

But maybe this time it's love! Bwahahaha. But seriously love seeing real public consequences to branch swinging.
/r/TheRedPill07/12/14 04:57 AM
4

I can't disagree more. Maybe yours is different or you've got enough attraction going and attitude is what you need to work on. There's a shit ton of fat beta dudes out there who have no confidence, no social skills, shitty clothes, no options, etc. Hitting the gym does more for them (okay, us) because it starts the ball rolling on lots of those things. A dominant husband without all the other RP items is just an asshole.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/14 10:04 PM
1

It depends on what you're trying to communicate. Do you want to appear that you're cheating, or just make her think it's possible, or just make her respect that you're at work and busy? My goal is to have her respect my work, not be available for random bs phone calls and at least make her think it's possible I could be out cheating. I want her to have to ask or check further to find out there isn't another woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/14 01:58 PM
2

I will never forget finally letting our son cry it out at midnight when he was supposed to be sleeping. We put up with late night feedings and comforting way too long. It was 45 straight minutes of hell.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/14 11:47 PM
3

I chuckled at this one. My wife and I went through similar trials. I expected she would be forever loyal for all the care I gave her and us. Yours may be different but mine felt no such obligation and my BP behavior was rewarded the same way everyone else's here has been.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/14 11:44 PM
2

A&A. "You're right you're a nice girl" She wants you to respond. She's not comfortable with the first night so agree with her and turn the convo into something funny and then a meetup ASAP.
/r/askTRP24/11/14 06:51 PM
3

How would you treat her if you never met her but a friend told you she likes to fuck and she cheats on whatever boyfriend she has? That's what she is. That's all she is to you now.
/r/askTRP24/11/14 06:45 PM
3

Even if you achieve nothing with this course of action you get across that you expect to lead when she's ready for sex again and you assert that you have needs. So I'd go for the BJ even if you know she'll resist and turn you down. My wife had a condition during pregnancy where she was not allowed to orgasm or have sex. I was major league blue pill but we both recognized I had needs and I got BJs and titty fucks. I realize now that quietly accepting that she was out of commission would have set …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/14 06:39 PM
3

I hate to say it but it sounds like her hormone shot has turned her into zero desire mode. I'm not sure anything will overcome that except dread that you'll go elsewhere. I'd go out. Meet the guys for beers after work or to watch a game. Be gone when she's normally used to interacting with you. Don't be upset or butthurt or whine. You stomping around being a "bear" is the equivalent of whining. You being unable to workout looks weak, whatever the problem is, deemphasize it and use the same time …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/14 02:06 PM
1

I would say that each situation is vastly different because of the woman involved and how much BP time went by. Dominant behavior is not going to work all at once with me and my wife because she'd see how different it was, stop everything and discuss it. Her shock at it will come before she gives herself a chance to like it. I also think its like dread, if it doesn't come from a believable source it will be rejected. If you don't show RP in other areas (body, career, leadership, etc) she's not g…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/14 01:35 PM
1

Good point. Make a statement that can't be argued with or questioned.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/14 03:14 PM
1

Reading SGM now though I read a summary a few months back. I really think she's just used to being starfish and I need to break through her routine. She's just not the type to accept caveman sex all at once, she'd stop everything and want too know what's going on. So my plan has been to build things up slowly, add a little dominance here and there and build on it every time. That's been working and I've been liking it but she's still pretty passive.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/14 03:12 PM
1

Already there, been doing that for awhile. Also use that to keep track of sex and her ovulation. If she initiates during ovulation I know I'm doing something right. Edit: a word
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/14 02:23 PM
8

This is useful for understanding their perspective on cheating too: they will cheat more readily if the circumstances are discreet, they are out of town, separated from girlfriends, etc. They see it as less of an offense to their man if the humiliation is removed.
/r/TheRedPill21/11/14 07:01 PM
10

Everyone says you can't force the RP on a buddy but I find it hard to ignore friends in pain so I drop little bits and pieces: Wow she's like a child, maybe treat her like one? How were you when you two met? Mine behaves better if there's a little competition around They all like it rough Aren't you the breadwinner? I've stopped rewarding bad behavior I did low-carb, the weight just fell off Does yours pick fights over minor shit? I just quit responding to those. Heh, picture her out in the real…
/r/askTRP21/11/14 06:52 PM
-1

Bzzzzrrrttt, but thanks for playing! No really: High count women are not "alpha" at all. They are too be avoided for an LTR because they run on emotion and will run to the next dude just as easily. That makes them great targets for sex. Low count women recognize their value and yours and so make good LTRs.
/r/askTRP19/11/14 08:39 PM
1

No I forgot about that, I will start that one today.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 03:52 PM
1

So what's your suggestion for dealing with starfish mode? I have no problem going through with it when she initiates but how do I let her know that unenthusiastic sex isn't good enough?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 02:54 PM
2

All I could find was a summary of it (I think it was only like 15 pages).
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 01:51 PM
1

Yes, is there something there you think I missed?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 12:19 PM
1

Good point. And I do my best to make her realize I have options & inspire jealousy, our life doesn't give me many ways to show off my market value. I've also stopped reassuring her about the other women I know, I used to portray them as ugly or "no threat". More ideas about achieving this would be helpful. I've held out many times, she eventually initiates but it's still 90% starfish.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 02:14 AM
4

I'm definitely more aware now of not rewarding bad behavior. Before I might have brought home flowers or some little gift for no reason like a good BP husband. Now I'm making sure my affection and little rewards follow her good deeds. Mostly. I also think it's good not to reward every time.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 01:09 AM
1

This is definitely the long game I'm aware. But I think her attraction isn't the biggest problem, it's the years of rationalizations like "I'm too tired", "My pussy is dry today", "He just had it 2 days ago", etc. Those have solidified and she rarely gets past them enough to think "I'm horny". As for pointing out things we see on TV, she'd know exactly why I was bringing it up and say "(sigh), that's not real life".
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/14 09:59 PM
2

I've been slowly increasing dominance over the last 3 months and I see her enjoying it. But she resists or shows little effort when I tell her to do this or that. That's a good point about turning her down only when I initiate. I think next time I see the starfish I'll just wilt and quit mid stroke. It'll be tough not to look whiny when I explain why though. I'm sure I'll just hear "I'm tired" or some similar excuse too.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/14 09:17 PM
0

Dude! I have a 9-5 job and kids. Whatever turning on I can do through the day does not make it through to after the rugrats go to bed. I have planted the idea of "tonight" during the day though with about 50% success rate. I will see what I can do to make her think about it all day. My wife's hamster convinced her long kisses were out long ago. I'll know I'm winning when I get those back.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/14 07:53 PM
1

Congratulations on owning your life. It's sad that people these days have so much shit to push through before they can glimpse reality but the world is your oyster once you do. This should be cross posted to r/marriedredpill.
/r/TheRedPill16/11/14 12:44 PM
1

OP took it as hurtful and disrespectful. It's on her to make sure he doesn't. Sometimes there's a little truth in a joke and even a sliver of a hint of her "settling" needs a serious response. She needs to be thrilled that OP keeps her around.
/r/askTRP14/11/14 04:49 AM
2

I agree. I'd take this easy if it were in person and you could tell she was joking. My wife and I neg each other like this. But this is a text and she apparently didn't follow up with a "j/k" or something. I'd let her eat silence for a day or two, maybe longer. If she didn't fall all over herself apologizing then I'd move on.
/r/askTRP14/11/14 04:44 AM
1

I like your answer best but you could also day how "needy girls turn you off ".
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/14 04:38 AM
1

I've been almost exactly where you are. For what it's worth I think her reflection time indicates she already decided to or did fuck the other guy. I think the phone thing needs to be in the trust-but-verify area. Don't demand to see her old stuff but do have a way to check up on her. Access to the account will let you see who she texts or if she leaves her phone around, check through it once every few months. She needs to know you'll be checking up now and then. Privacy is a privilege she gave …
/r/askTRP14/11/14 04:32 AM
0

I'm thinking clearly now but it doesn't make me any better than the person who was talking last night. The subject here is fatherhood, that raises the bar for anyone considering it. I've decided the best way to go about this is through a sperm bank so I have no rights or legal obligations to the child. That solves any legal or financial issues neatly. But how will you be when you see that child? Won't you have expectations? Won't you want to see if he/she is good at the things you're good at? Ho…
/r/askTRP13/11/14 07:39 PM
2

Let me try to respond again this time not being black out drunk. I don't think I can add to that statement. Why not? See previous posts. Because kids need dads. You're making one that won't have a dad. Just take a look at all the fucked up kids with no dad and multiply by the fucked up kids who come from tons of money. That's your kid.
/r/askTRP13/11/14 06:56 PM
1

Sounds fantastic but the lawyers have gotten hold of the boy scouts now. Almost everything remotely dangerous has been edited out or turned into a joke. I was very disappointed when my son and I joined 3 years ago.
/r/askTRP13/11/14 06:52 PM
1

Good parents are the most positive things in any young man or woman's life. Parents plural, it takes two to positively demonstrate to kids how both sexes are.
/r/askTRP13/11/14 04:35 AM
6

Fuck no. Then don't. Grandpa might be great and have tons of cash but a child needs a father. There are thousands of things grandpas and uncles won't be there for. You may have 200 offspring out there but if you've never been a dad...well let's say I don't envy you for it.
/r/askTRP13/11/14 02:36 AM
3

Compromise? Invite him over to your house for drinks and dinner?
/r/askTRP13/11/14 01:52 AM
1

I also wondered why OP was not invited. And why it wasn't lunch or coffee.
/r/askTRP13/11/14 01:50 AM
22

Do you want to be a dad? Kids need dads. If your plan is to be the sperm donor and then walk then I can't see doing it regardless of the finances. If you do want to be a dad (there are some very cool parts) then I don't see why not. It sounds like you can afford it and so can she. Edit: spelling
/r/askTRP13/11/14 01:46 AM
1

Obviously most of RP is about decoding women so I don't see much for gay men here. I don't know enough about the lesbian mentality to say if the principles are the same, but that seems possible.
/r/askTRP12/11/14 01:19 PM
6

Oh you've got serious oneitis, not "probable". You've got alot to get past with this girl because you've demonstrated how much you need & like her several times and apparently been huffy and butthurt when she dumped you. All very blue pill stuff. But lets pretend that's not it. She lost attraction for you (or never had much), could be all kinds of personality conflicts but check yourself first: Got muscles, decent clothes, grooming? Got prospects of being gainfully employed? Got confidence and l…
/r/askTRP11/11/14 01:46 AM
1

Remember if you turn dumb girl into your LTR, she'll still be dumb. She'll likely still fall for whatever game you threw at her whenever she's out of your sight. I dated this. Don't. Use your supermassive brain to locate someone who you can hold a convo with and who wants your D.
/r/askTRP10/11/14 02:31 AM
3

"Yes soooo gay. Where are all the good men around here anyway? I need my salad tossed toute-suite!"
/r/askTRP10/11/14 01:06 AM
1

"I'll be the judge of that, meet me at X in 20 minutes"
/r/askTRP08/11/14 02:15 AM
1

Tell her you're responsible for the well being of the whole family and that means saving for things you want. Tell her it gives you no pleasure saying no. After she seems to accept that and if the whole family might eventually benefit from the laptop, then I'd throw her a bone and say you'll kick in some of your discretionary $ to the fund.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/14 11:18 PM
3

I second the Chromebook, you can pick up a nice little Acer off of Craigslist for like $120. Add Google Docs and you can do alot.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/14 11:12 PM
7

That guy who's getting ripped off you mean? I'm that guy. For $10 or $1. Big difference between the coupon queen wasting 10 minutes looking for an extra $0.15 off her dog food and a store lying about the price.
/r/TheRedPill07/11/14 05:33 AM
5

It sounds like you're recognizing the shit tests but not responding with confidence and abundant mentality. It also sounds like she's giving you chances to escalate but you're not taking them. Then, hurt about the rejection, she's responding with neg attacks asking about your brother and mentioning bald spot. She sounds like a bitch really, who doesn't know her MV has dropped. She'd put you right into the beta study buddy friendzone but you're just barely fighting that off. Escalate and bang or …
/r/askTRP06/11/14 01:47 PM
1

See if any of that small talk can be steered away from gym/fitness/health. If she talks to you about a different topic then better chances she's interested.
/r/askTRP06/11/14 01:35 PM
0

I've come to think of it like this: a woman's "loyalty" is not based on past events, it's based on what she sees the future events will be. She wants to fuck the cute waiter with the bulging muscles but she won't. Not because of all the great things you've done, but because you'll be better for her needs down the road. The instant that other guy looks like he'll provide more of what she needs next week/month/year, she'll be packing up her shit.
/r/askTRP05/11/14 05:37 PM
2

I have a few more stripes to earn before I'm a full Captain but I had mojoupgrade in mind even when I was BP. Glad I didn't use it yet b/c I think it'll be received much better after RP.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/14 01:45 PM
1

You don't want to lose him completely so you're stringing each other along. Cut the cord and see what life is like really without him. If some years go by and you decide that was a mistake, try not to make it with the next one.
/r/askTRP04/11/14 05:36 AM
2

I think you have a real question here that needs an answer beyond "just fuck the plate". Mostly I think this because I have a 10 year old daughter. I think the "don't be easy" message is good, and she's heard that advice before. How about that the thing between her legs has value but that value goes down every time she wastes it on some loser? Or that she needs to find something in herself of value to offer the world and some great guy that isn't based on her body. Or if she's intelligent talk t…
/r/askTRP04/11/14 05:08 AM
6

Won't work in the elevator though. How about "Did you ever notice the source of most human conflict and misery is our refusal to believe we're animals?"
/r/TheRedPill04/11/14 04:52 AM
5

Huh? Fructose (half of sugar or corn syrup from the Skittles) is metabolized completely differently from the glucose that comes from splitting starch (bagel). Watch this: Sugar: The Bitter Truth: http://youtu.be/dBnniua6-oM I like the elevator pitch idea to make people think on their own, but Dr. Moz is a dumbass with this one.
/r/TheRedPill04/11/14 04:47 AM
0

Depends. 499 to go.
/r/askTRP04/11/14 04:16 AM
2

"I'm fine. I have enough friends. Please quit stalking me. I'm blocking your number now." That gets your point across and yet does not leave her feeling all warm and fuzzy about her decisions. And you don't look like an asshole who rejected her LJBF offer. She's back on the defensive to refute the "stalking" word ...but with no one to talk to.
/r/askTRP04/11/14 03:17 AM
2

Recognize that more exercise does not lead to weight loss, it leads to hunger. Whatever extra calories you burn are simply replaced by having one more bite the next day. The real key is in what you eat. More and more studies are showing that it's sugar and other easily digestible carbs that are the real problem. Read Good Calories, Bad Calories or Why We Get Fat and see if the research doesn't convince you. r/keto and r/lowcarb are also great. Applying this to the wife can be trickier. I've only…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/14 03:06 AM
2

Mom is probably making the ex out to be the bad guy when really she wants to keep them separate for her own reasons.
/r/askTRP03/11/14 08:19 PM
1

Why leave it up to her? This is your decision. How about: "you're a cool girl and I really connected, but there's too many other fish in the sea." That leaves her with knowing you'll be on the market again and nothing to argue about or pin her hopes on. If you leave her an opening she'll just work it until you're beta trapped again. She'll either realize what a huge burden she's asking you to carry or she won't. I'd bet she figures it out but it might take her awhile.
/r/askTRP03/11/14 08:14 PM
2

You're answering your own questions here. She's definitely using her power over your feelings to your disadvantage. She's definitely prioritizing her kids' Halloween and her ex over you. You're taking all of this because she's so wonderful ...and has your balls in her back pocket. Walk. Whether you want her or not the solution is the same. When she knows you're gone then you can decide if you want her back. Use the time in between to see what's out there. If you decide to continue with her I'd n…
/r/askTRP03/11/14 06:39 PM
1

Pregnancy messes with their hormones, she might be twice as horny or never interested and then flip flop the next week. But after that you need to realize a few things. She's used to being the 20-something flower of youth that's pursued by every swinging dick and you're used to chasing after tail. With two kids and into mid-30s everything has flipped. You are now the sought after asset because you're a man with a job and a track record of responsibility. She's now 35 and toting 2 kids around, no…
/r/askTRP01/11/14 06:17 PM
4

Married RP takes longer. You've been married acting one way for 14 years, so don't expect to get huge results right away. RP stuff I've been implementing after 14 years of marriage: * No waffling on decisions * No whining * Emphasize my body, my space, my strength * Be a rock of stability and don't take on her emotions * Go to the gym * Hang out with friends * Inform her off my plans, don't ask permission * Make one pass for sex, if refused walk away and don't be upset * Don't reward her bad beh…
/r/askTRP01/11/14 02:40 PM
6

Down on yourself and butthurt about your genetics attracts zero, male or female. Everyone has flaws, what counts is how you see them. You need to own whatever "defects" you have, accept them to the point that you can make fun of them. They are tiny things lost in the vast greatness that is you. I agree with the others, 5" isn't small enough to matter, chicks don't care nearly as much about that as we think. I've been with super-tight pussy and it was great but it didn't make me think every girl …
/r/askTRP31/10/14 12:16 PM
2

Boyfriend/husband: 50% chance Sexual trauma: 30% Physical problem with intercourse: 15% You remind her of someone she'd rather not repeat: 10% Has bizarre fetish she thinks you won't participate in: 5% Has convinced her head you're not her type but not her vag: 50%
/r/askTRP30/10/14 03:50 AM
1

Maybe emphasize that you're not speaking about his girl, AWALT. Tell him she has a kid to care for, securing money for that is at the front of her mind no matter how wonderful she is. And isn't it better to simplify the relationship by removing money from the equation?
/r/TheRedPill30/10/14 02:10 AM
0

I know one girl who's a heroin addict and three women who got hooked on painkillers. I know zero men who are hooked on drugs.
/r/TheRedPill30/10/14 01:57 AM
3

Exactly. I would take the bullet as long as I believed my kids would be better off.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/14 08:06 PM
19

Because he might wind up raising offspring that are not his own? Because his children likely go with her if she leaves?
/r/askTRP28/10/14 03:42 PM
6

3 inexplicable divorces around me and my own wife's hamstering and eventually cheating. RP explained what I saw every day around me.
/r/TheRedPill28/10/14 12:25 PM
3

So much of RP is filed with absolutes, this man speaks of reality and considerate application. +1
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/14 04:36 AM
1

One thing that's true though is that they are missing the loyalty gene that men have and they will lie straight to your face and hamster about it to make they are justified in their head. Trust her words but verify her actions whenever you can. Yeah it's easy to say "next" but not when there's so much on the line. And you sure don't chuck it all without something concrete. The beauty of your situation (and mine) is that skeletons come out eventually and if the worst happens at least you've maxim…
/r/askTRP27/10/14 05:12 PM
1

Wish I had an answer for you there. Go twice? Go on her tits, go down on her, then go for the P-in-V only after that? I think I'd tell her you're trying everything up to and including a sex therapist.
/r/askTRP27/10/14 05:01 PM
1

There's some science to back this up. The happy hormones that get released when she cums get associated with whoever is there. That needs to be you and only you, especially now. Read Married Man Sex Life Primer for more. Basically three-ways and orgies are fine for couples where that has been reinforced over and over, but definitely not for couples on shakier ground.
/r/askTRP27/10/14 03:11 AM
1

I disagree that he has nothing to gain at the moment. Everything is in suspended animation when a bun is in the oven. I would use this time now to get myself in perfect shape, begin to meet people and develop some game. Quietly talk to a lawyer and see what moves I should make or not make. Sneak some DNA tests on both kids. And try hard to find out if she's had some foreign D. He doesn't have anything like hard evidence, and she may have crazy prego hormones driving the lez thing. With 2 kids an…
/r/askTRP27/10/14 03:02 AM
2

Hmmm, maybe she's hanging out with you for a reason?
/r/askTRP26/10/14 02:42 AM
1

Agree in advance to help each other, make it a game. If nothing works out maybe see if you can't spin it into an FWB.
/r/askTRP25/10/14 10:19 PM
1

It's part of the fact that they are ruled by emotions. They just say ridiculous crap without thinking because that's how they felt right then. The technique is to not take it seriously and thus not feed into the irrational discussion.
/r/askTRP25/10/14 07:49 PM
1

It sounds like you've got a spiritual angle going here that's tough to put into words. I think what everyone is saying to you is that her not wanting to fuck you is a bad sign that we've all seen before, but if you've got it handled and you can be her alpha then you have can probably take it from here. I wish you the best and hope you're right.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/14 02:38 PM
1

I'm with the others this is disrespectful of your time. However it's also an attempt to demonstrate her own SMV to you, by reacting you're taking the bait. You don't care what she does with her phone, if it distracts you then ask her to shut it off. If she can't respect your time together then demote her or next.
/r/askTRP25/10/14 04:00 AM
1

That's great how you've got the girl you wanted. Now can you carry her to the next level? Can you carry her and x kids too? Can you support yourself, her and those kids and never be a burden to them when you're an old fart? Can you, and this is most important, have her and be happy with yourself too? Everything sounded great except the she isn't fucking you part. And that's a big part when it's gone. And remember she's missing it too.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/14 07:59 PM
1

Uh huh. This is a textbook case of her saying she's not when she definitely is. Look at her deeds not words. She brought it up and you reacted.
/r/askTRP23/10/14 12:12 PM
1

She's trying to prove her SMV to you by telling you about this. Don't bite on that bait. I like the advice to ask if it's affecting her job and if not then subject is closed. Only she can deflect flirting and if she's over the age of 16 she already knows how. You wanting to handle this situation signals you're worried and/or jealous, neither are good signs. You need to be so much better than this guy that she chuckles at his attempts.
/r/askTRP23/10/14 12:04 PM
2

This definitely her challenging for control. Do you run the finances or does she? You need to handle the bills, especially if it's mostly your money. Assuming you do, you need her to understand that controlling spending is necessary for your family's survival. If you have debts, let her know how much those weigh on you and how you're trying to get out from under them. Finally tell her she needs to return that pointless purchase. If she refuses then tell her you might have to take steps to protec…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/14 11:47 AM
1

Make sure there's no pressure: you're comfortable with your surroundings, your time, your company and what you're doing.
/r/askTRP23/10/14 01:38 AM
5

I do everything I can to make sure the wife sees it. Inspiring jealousy is a major goal of mine: show yourself as having a good SMV. Other than that you have to decide if you want to be married or you're prepping for divorce.
/r/askTRP21/10/14 08:34 PM
1

18? Maybe the starfish is just frozen because she doesn't want to mess you up/doesn't know what to do? My starfish is lack of enthusiasm and/or energy and you don't usually see that at 18.
/r/askTRP21/10/14 08:24 PM
3

I have to be OK with who I'm with, what I'm doing and where I am, is one of those amiss with you? e.g. I've had trouble in a parking lot because I was sure someone was going to come along. Beyond that I'd say try to get out of your head and concentrate on what you're feeling with your senses. I've had years of experience with starfish sex that required me to fantasize but then I'd overthink or be frustrated. Yet another reason I found RP...
/r/askTRP21/10/14 12:19 PM
1

Your cousin might be cool but don't let people down, especially the cool ones. There's no excuse in these days of Siri & OK Google. Set yourself a reminder and/or keep a calendar, it takes seconds and you'll never have that horrible feeling again.
/r/askTRP21/10/14 02:46 AM
2

Sounds nice but if this were true my wife's vibrator would see more action. It doesn't for the same reason i don't have a sex doll and don't visit prostitutes: because your biggest sex organ sits on your neck not in your pants. You can fool your sense of touch but not your brain.
/r/TheRedPill21/10/14 12:32 AM
2

All those statements she made really sound like a description of BP, if that was how you were then I think you're in agreement on those points b/c you're RP now. Great job not blowing up at the most emotional words she could cook up. Take them as evidence that all the RP things you've been reading about are indeed what she wants from a man. Keep showing her the new man you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/14 10:53 PM
2

She'll say anything, with no remorse or guilt or shame. And that's exactly how she managed to hook up with those dudes. Remember to care about what she does not what she says. Best if you can escape the cohabitation. 2nd choice is be pissed for a few months, she'll find another dick and you'll see who she really is. Using her for sex only is dangerous for you.
/r/askTRP20/10/14 10:44 PM
3

Just while we're on the subject, does anyone have a favorite Android app for tracking her cycle? I'm using LoveCycles which is okay but not great.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/14 10:31 PM
1

Teeth marks? Not kidding actually, you can get tiny dot bruises when you're erect and then see them later.
/r/askTRP18/10/14 03:07 PM
1

Since a crucial part of RP is being in shape: Good Calories Bad Calories or Why We Get Fat, both by Gary Taubes. Not diet books, they explain why the food pyramid is wrong, how fat got demonized and why it's carbs that are the problem. A revelation for me as great as RP.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/14 12:13 PM
1

I hate the minor shit test: "Could you get me some water?", "Can you get some milk on the way home?", "We can be 10 minutes late". I don't know a way to respond to them without seeming like 1) petty and spoiling for a fight or 2) BP provider/slave.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/14 03:53 AM
7

This seems pretty confusing because she's put the two events together. Take your class or your seminar based on whichever you'd like to do, the other woman is not part of that. As for her weekend away getting drunk with single girls, this is unacceptable. Married women don't do this. Certainly not any that you're married to. GNO is exactly the time for them to egg each other on, doubly so when with unmarried friends, and doubly again when it's a whole weekend and out of town. No way does she pro…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/14 04:46 PM
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