I recently found RP / MRP and I have to say that having read the posts and seeing similarities in my own life (as a long term, frustrated BP) - I can't start to tell you how relieved I am to have found a community like this.

I'm the stereotype BP, raised by a single mom, always wanting to please, but frustrated because I don't get what I want, and this has naturally followed me in my life. I've married a woman i've put on a pedestal for too long and allowed her to take control of our relationship, simply because I wasn't the captain of my ship.

I had my first test after deciding to swallow the red pill (i've started lifting in the meantime!) after a buddy (also a BP), called to ask for advice about an event he wanted to plan for his fiancee.

My wife was in the room and overhead. She decided to shit test me, saying "she's so lucky to have a BF like him that plans things for her birthday".. conveniently forgetting that i've already made plans with her to have a short trip next week for her birthday.

The old BP me, would have crumbled, to appease her - but I held frame (for the first time!) telling her that I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing (studying) and if she wanted to continue making comments, she should go and do it outside.

This made her more angry and she told me she'd be sleeping in another room that evening and she escalated her shit tests by saying "I was too naive to marry so early" and telling me she wouldn't wear her wedding band. Things i've seen her do before. I held frame, ignoring her.

Now my question to you- how do you hold frame? It's a real struggle now. It seems easier to hold frame at the start, but the next day, I feel the BP in me dying to get out - to appease her, partly as I want to make sure she's OK for our weekend trip next week, that's already been paid for.

I realise this will be a long journey gentlemen, but I intend to stay the course and any comments / advice would be greatly appreciated.