Had to make a throwaway since folks may know my username but know for a fact I read these subreddits.

Been married for four years and swallowed the pill earlier this year. Marriage has been pretty rocky as I am figuring out the right ways to move forward but I am starting to get things going in the right direction.

So a little while ago I caught her messaging and old male friend and was making plans to get with him. I am pretty sure she was planning to branch swing and not actually cheat on me. There are many things that have happened over the last few years that could give the possibility of having cheated but it could just be emotional cheating. I may never know.

So I came home from a trip and really rocked the game and went from her divorcing me to getting it on. It had been over a month and I had already figured I would never get that again. Said she was nervous about letting me back in because she didn't want to get hurt and gave some LMR but I played my cards right and I got the reward.

This is where things are strange. She was covering her mouth with her hands and her arms were over her chest. All if this while I was escalating and warming her up. When I laid her on the bed she did the same and seemed very closed off or unsure. I couldn't really tell which. Then after sex she went in the shower to clean up ( which is abnormal but since I hadn't unloaded in a while it made sense) but stayed in there for some time. After a minute I asked her what she was doing and she said she was thinking. In order to not make an ordeal if it I said "ok" and went to bed. She was in there for a while.

My thoughts in this vary from that she was really nervous to let her walls down and follow my lead to the possibility of guilt because she may have physically or emotionally cheated recently. I really can't nail it down.

I am going to lay down the boundaries on who is acceptable to send messages to and who is not one last time and explain that one more time will result in a swift delivery of divorce papers. The question I have about this is if it would be a bad move to demand she hand me her phone unlocked so that I can review all messages that have been sent to discover if she has cheated. How do I handle this? If I choose to move forward with her is it at the possibility of not ever knowing the truth because demanding to see the phone will come across as insecurity?

We all know she wont tell the truth and I don't want demanding the phone to be, for lack of a better term, a beta move. If she has nothing to hide then the proper response should be for her to almost chuckle at the stupidity and toss me the phone, right? Could there be a way to draw the truth out?