I'm 46yo, married, have a very demanding job (55+ hours per week, 90th percentile pay), married for 17 years, I am in decent shape 5'10/175lbs. Wife is 43, from Japan, 5'2/110lbs. We have 3 teen kids, all at home. We married at 23 and 20, she was a virgin when we met, she was my 3rd.

 

When I found TRP I was very unhappy with our sex life and the rest of our relationship. I am a conservative Christian (I have issues, but I still believe) and didn't want to break my wedding vows but I was miserable and didn't have any hope things would get better.

 

Much of the red pill approach to relationships comes naturally to me (6 years USMC, Alpha Grandfather) but everything around me lately says that Alpha behavior is selfish and wrong and ego-centric (and will make things worse) so I had a lot of beta behaviors mixed with a few alpha tendencies.

 

It took me a few months to figure out for myself if I could incorporate RP principals into my life without conflicting with my Christian beliefs. The bible clearly requires that wives submit to their husbands and husbands love their wives, but in many churches that has morphed into mutual submission of wives and husbands to each other, and there is a lot of BP advice in church. Early on, a lot of what I read focused on Dread, and I can't in good conscience threaten to leave my wife, and I don't want to flirt with other women, because I don't trust myself to stop if the opportunity is really there, so I didn't really want to head down that path.

 

Based on the information learned from the sidebar, TRP and MRP, I have made the following have changes in my life that I feel don't conflict with my beliefs:

10 weeks ago

  • Started embracing and kissing my wife daily with no other immediate agenda.

  • Resumed woodworking and started leatherworking.

  • Started lifting (barbells/pushups at home) twice a week.

  • Made sure to get in 2 runs or p90x sessions per week.

  • Worked to stop feeling like a victim at work and home, this is my life, my choices put me here, it is up to me to make the best of it.

6 weeks ago

  • Re-started religious practices I had let lapse.

  • Stopped with porn/fapping when she isn't menstruating

  • Stopped giving advance warning/requests for sex, she never knows now when it is on.

  • Stopped asking for sex, started subtly commanding it.

  • Started pounding her during sex, slapping her ass/legs, grabbing her shoulders/ass/legs/waist.

  • Stopped asking or caring if she got off or not, I do my best to make it happen, but in the end I don't care.

  • Laughed off any excuses re sex:"we just did it [2 days ago]", "the kids aren't sleeping yet"...

  • -- I think that no-fap is a big key for me because about 25% of the time she would have been receptive I wasn't interested because I had fapped earlier that day.

2 weeks ago

  • Stopped describing challenges at work in any detail.

  • Stopped consulting with her on things that I wasn't really willing to negotiate on, just state them as fact.

  • Stopped consulting with her on things I don't really care about, just tell her to choose. if she can't choose then I take the decision away and choose for her.

  • Stopped using phrases like "I feel", "I want"...

  • Stopped letting her vomit her issues on me. After ~5 mins of listening/reflecting, I say something gentle like "that is really hard, but I know you can handle it", if she keeps talking I agree and amplify, which usually works, if not I just walk away.

The results have been great. She has not turned me down for sex once yet. She sometimes grabs my ass when I hug and kiss her during the day, she tries to limit the amount of bitching she does, more touchy, caring etc. She really likes an alpha, and always has, I just had no clue.

 

I have more to go, not going into it now, but I wanted to contribute and say that I really appreciate the knowledge I am gaining here and thank those who keep these subs on track. I hope the above is of help to someone else, particularly if you have strong religious convictions and are wondering if TRP will work for you or not.

 

tl;dr TRP helps, even in a Christian, no-dread context.

edited - formatting