What is the best method for checking the wife's phone, laptop etc?

exbp · 2015-06-12T16:42:25+00:00

Personally I think spending your time playing "flirt police" with your wife is a waste of your time & effort. It's easy to spend hours fooling around with it and if you're caught it looks very very needy. Instead I told my wife that if I ever find anything then we're through. Now my wife isn't sneaky or a good liar so her takeaway is that she can cheat and carry on with someone else but it would have to be perfectly hidden and kept hidden forever with zero margin for error. Basically she has heard from me and believes that if she attempts to branch swing she'll be single in a flash. There's no covert contract or "mutual understanding" here.

But still every couple of months she'll leave her phone or facebook page unattended. I'll zip through her texts and open applications and look for anything out of sorts. I'm fairly sure she does the same to my phone.

tdreampo · 2015-06-12T21:23:28+00:00

You don't. Why? If she cheats she is out, period. This outcome is possible, and that should be OK. Focus on YOURSELF not controlling someone else by playing detective. I have much better novels to read anyway....

cholomite · 2015-06-12T17:05:21+00:00

My gf leaves her phone around and I know the password. I'll check it every once in awhile if she's in the shower or something but I've never found anything. If she ever changed the password I would ask her to give it to me so I can check the weather app or something. If she resists then I'll know something is up. She gave me her email passwords too and I check those a couple times a year. Just be warned, I was looking at her gmail account from my work and she got an alert that an unknown pc logged in. She changed her password but told me the new one. I've never found anything of concern but I will always belive in "trust but verify". Just don't obsess over it or get caught.

Ryanami · 2015-06-12T22:31:02+00:00

iPhones can share your location through iMessages, I've got it on not out of paranoia but habit or something.

I used to use Find My Phone on her to make sure I had time to fap before she got home.

hypergamous · 2015-06-13T01:26:22+00:00

Strongly suggest a "privacy" versus "secrecy" policy in any relationship.

Privacy

Privacy Is About Personal Boundaries. She has a daily process of being a human. It requires mundane minutia that is not essential to sharing.

Secrecy

Locked Doors Lead To Lies. If she feels the need to lock doors or have passwords that she isn't comfortable sharing then it's a signal of something serious.

She will hide to prevent herself from being hurt.

Through the pain of personal experience I've setup relationships to have an "open data policy" in all LTRs.

The strategy of this policy is to create trust early and often.

The joke I share with women is what would you rather keep private?

Your Credit Report or Your Facebook Chat History?

This strategy is what saved me in the end of my first marriage. It wasn't until year 6 that a password was changed.

I was slow to check and see if a password changed over that year. It wasn't until I noticed that I started paying attention.

All the fears that an Blue Pill man would fear were there.

What I view now in relationships is that we are only looking for 3 core principals.

Loyalty - Lies - Lust

These are three areas that I do not need a phone or data access to learn about. She is going to consistently shit test, so I'm going to continually test her on those 3 areas.

Does she keep her word for the small details? Does she exaggerate or retract details later? Does she lust for me? What do her actions say?

Over time she will share more about how she feels. Words will slip. Time will tell all.

Practice Patience Ask her questions over time and take time memorize her facial expressions and responses. Lies only work when someone believes them.

The hardest part is when we start believing the lie that she will never cheat. The only time that is true is when she has no other options and you are her last choice.

If we look back at previous relationships that caused pain and are truthful with ourselves, we can see where the lies started.

This is an area of life that has served to be useful in business over the years.

Hope that was helpful along your journey.

theultmatecad · 2015-06-13T02:29:58+00:00

Since you tagged me:

I installed free spyrix keylogger on MY laptop. Then hid the power cord to wife's. She asked to use mine...bingo. I had her PW.

From there I was able to see everything as she never deletes emails. She also stores other passwords in emails to herself.

Don't overlook the treasure trove of information in her credit card statements. Find them.

Also...old phones and BlackBerry. Yes, the data is old but it's chock full of truth. Red pill truth.

The information I found was my fuel to swallow the pill. It went down so smooth. My whole life made sense. I spent a very long time killing my ego and torturing my body with iron.

It's a great time to be alive!!

RPAlternate42 · 2015-06-12T16:45:56+00:00

My kids have mini iPads and they are connected to my wife's account. I can see every text message she gets. She doesn't know because I turned off notifications for messages.

In order to do this you'd need her iTunes password.

I never found anything bad just her bitching to her sister that I changed or making complaints about shit that I know doesn't actually bother her (hamster AWALT.) It helped me better understand how to apply RP in a more functional manner. I haven't seen anything notably amusing in a about a month and a half.

The text messages were nothing more than a barometer on how good I was doing: If there is no texting and I get all the sex I want, things are good and I'm doing right. If I'm getting all the sex I want and the the texts are her "upset" or "angry" about me at her sister, then I'm doing something VERY RIGHT.

I've never thought she was cheating on any level, so I've only checked to see what she thinks I'm thinking.

It's never correct.

NoTifuToday · 2015-06-12T22:58:15+00:00

On iphones that search app you get when you swipe from half screen downwards. Searches deleted messages too.

bogeyd6 · 2015-06-13T00:20:27+00:00

Would not even bother. If your outcome is not a divorce, then why get all excited? You dont think your SO is flirting with other men and already has a couple "dicks in a glass jar"? Do not fool yourself. If its a problem for you that you cannot get over then you have to work the steps, dread levels, sidebar, etc.... Once you get to a point where you have come to the leader of the family again, its time to set a new boundary on social and phone accounts. Completely open, for the both of you.

Now for the word of caution. If she is going to cheat, she will cheat. Nothing in the world is going to stop her. If you can even think she is cheating. Next her. Period. You dont need that in your life.

RealBigSigh · 2015-06-13T16:14:45+00:00

I tried a keylogger on my computer for a while, but my wife doesn't use it much. Similar like RPAlternate42, we have an iPad that WAS linked to my wife's account. I could see all of her texts until she shut that option off. That raised red flags. She also keeps her phone very close to her at all times. On the rare instance where I get access to her phone, or if she plugs her phone into my computer to charge, I set iTunes to back up her iPhone. It takes only a minute if you don't back up apps. Then I bought Dr. Fone for iPhone, which can open the backup file and even pull up many deleted text messages. I found enough evidence on her phone to say that AWALT. She didn't used to be like that, as best as I can tell, but something changes in the last 2-3 years.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-06-12T19:03:31+00:00

Read "The Key Logger" and understand one thing: AWALT.

Unless you are building a case for divorce why are you considering this? You will most likely find your wife is flirting with one or more men online. That is what they do. 67% of women have a backup guy already lined up even when the marriage is going well.

Title	What is the best method for checking the wife's phone, laptop etc?
Author	RelapsedBeta
Upvotes	6
Comments	29
Date	June 12, 2015 3:47 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/39lh0m/what_is_the_best_method_for_checking_the_wifes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/what-is-the-best-method-for-checking-the-wifes.201706 https://theredarchive.com/post/201706

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