We have always heard the Ego is the source of all pain and misery. The gurus always say that once you go through "Ego Death" you become truly "enlightened", whatever that means.

I'm here to call that BS. You not only want your Ego, you NEED it.

The only way to be able to go about life is by recognizing in the first place that you are a unique individual and that "I" exists and is not a "creation of the mind" or a big delusion forced upon us by society or the gods. Without an Ego, you will be pushed around by life. Life will just happen to you, you will not make it happen for you. Why? Because you are not in touch with your goals, with your vision for the future. You are not in touch with your boundaries, your likes and dislikes. In other words, you are out of touch with Life.

Now, the real charm is in managing this "Rational Egoism" and not turn it into Autism.

How do you do that? Simple. By not identifying with what your Ego comprises. By understanding that you are in constant change. The "you" that started reading this post is not the same that is currently reading it. Some change (in a variety of levels) has occurred. But it is still YOU. Everything in life is change, everything in life is flow, construction and destruction. Once you realize this, you are able use your Ego as the tool it is and not let it blind you and use you instead.

So, yes, you have objectives. They are yours for sure, but right now. Yes, you are in a relationship. She is your wife, right now. You understand that everything you have is there only temporarily (even if that temporarily means until you die). You understand that you and your beliefs are in constant mutation and therefore you do not see them as in intrinsic part of you but as something you have right now but that eventually you will let go if something that serves you best comes along in the future. Everything in your life will be looked upon as something to enjoy while it is there and to be remembered once it is gone. You also understand that by constantly getting better you will more likely find yourself in better and better situations as time goes on, and it was YOU that allowed that to happen, the same YOU that is now reading this to grab something out of it, but different.

Another way to have a healthy sense of Narcissism (yes, Narcissism can be a good thing) is by realizing, as coach u/RStonePT put it, that "you are in the midst of a game of genetics. And you are not the player. You are the ball". By realizing that "You ain't shit, and that's okay", you can navigate life with a healthy sense of self (and not without a sense of self as many try to promote it). Once you get this, your Ego will be the tool that will make you push everyday to get better and achieve what you want at that moment and since you have it under control, it will not interfere with an impartial view of what is left to work on yourself. In fact, it will push you do so.

When you have no Ego, you escape from life. When you identify with your Ego, you delude yourself from life. When you manage to have an healthy sense of Ego, you live life.