Many talk about the Captain-First Officer mental model. And, while it is definitely useful for guys who are just starting out and that need to jump into the leading position in their relationship, once that is handled, it is not sufficient.

The main reason for this is the fact that it implies one very wrong thing: you and the girl are in the same team.

You are not.

You guys simply are aligned in some interests and are getting what you want from each other. And, while that happens, the relationship will flourish. When that stops, suddenly one or both of you will stop “feeling it”.

You are in your own team. And your own team is made of yourself only.

Yes, there are people we value. But they are guests in our autistic journey. And you want it to be autistic, otherwise you won’t care enough for it.

So, see your life as your dictatorship: you make all the decisions of what is done and of whom stays or goes. At the same time, you are ultimately responsible for every single aspect of your life. Every single one.

Never forget that you’re going to fucking die.

Soon.

So fucking make your life your kingdom and rule it like a motherfucker who only cares about his own opinion of himself and who will never compromise what he wants for himself because of one of his “guests”.

But now comes the “benevolent” part; while you want to rule your life with the expectations to others no short of a dictator’s (people who don’t measure up get the boot), you also take them into consideration and give them the benefits of being part of your journey. You know of their needs and make sure to also have them in mind, of course after making sure yours are being met.

In other words: you reward good behavior and don’t reward bad behavior.

See? There are no “punishments”. There is only your attention, affection and commitment and your ability to cut them from someone who stops deserving them.

Go out there and be the most altruist motherfucker for those who add value to your egoist life story.