Hey guys Just discovered RP a few weeks ago, read Rollo Tomasi's book and also NMMNG, reading through the others as well. Been married 6+ years, amazing how many things I did wrong and how eye opening it all is now.

Anyway, let me get to it: I am slowly beginning to be more assertive with my wife and gradually recapturing frame. I find that as she withholds sex (she does that a lot and in the past I turned into a needy little boy, which obviously likely turns her off even more) , I have started to become even more sensitive to the point that I leak if I do as much as give her a gentle back rub, and generally I get very excited at the least of attention that she shows me. It's like I am this horny teenager (I am 36) and my body now has learned neural pathways to satisfaction (I used to fap if my wife would withold sex, and I was unable to keep it together), and the more I am now aware I need to be the alpha to really attract her as opposed to the other way around, the more my body sabotages me and it gets more and more challenging.

Is it just that I have a high sex drive? Is it simple anxiety? Last night we had (bad) sex (she's pregnant, barely felt like it, felt like she did it for me, so to speak) and I come very quickly... my "explanation" is that we have sex so infrequently that, there you go, I come in 2 minutes. (with hindsight, I thought about it today, I should probably have said "honey, just give me an awesome handjob or something, you're obviously uncomfortable" and laid on my back to have her please me, as opposed to have her sit there like a cheap prostitute that's not really into it- that's what it felt like...). It's been like this for a few years now, I tend to come quickly, she tends to not come at all, and even fakes it... So I have a lot of recovery to do to get to the point where she actually wants me inside of her, like it's not a duty or something, but really has some level of desire.

I am planing on following Mark Manson's book advice (only fap once a week, at a set time) to get it out of my system and try to not think too much about it.

Anyway, -looking for some perspectives on how to control sexual urges during the transformation period... I am having some success distracting myself and gave up porn months ago, but now my big struggle is just that I feel like my body is not collaborating at all. Thanks,