So, 37M, wife 39F, I met my wife 17 years ago. Things were going well for the last 15. I requested she get a job repeatedly over the last few years because she was very meticulous about household chores. I could never wash the dishes or clothes correctly. I thought her working and being exhausted like i was at the end of the day would fix that. I.e. we each pitch in where we can and understand shortfalls because it was finally done. No one is upset because of the perceived lack of household effort. She always denied and said she wasn't a people person. She cannot do that, i make money, she does household work.

My dad died 10 months ago, and 6 days after his death ON MY BIRTHDAY, while i was taking a shit in my moms toilet, my wife comes in and says she wants a divorce 💔. I broke. I couldn't argue, my 3 kids, 2 sisters 2 nephews, 2 Brother in laws were 10 feet away. I just asked why? I couldn't breathre, couldnt process. Something about her parents and them needing her, despite the fact that she had not talked to her parents in 2 years despite my repeatedly urging her to do so... We went to counseling 2 months later.

The counselor was solid. She pointed out strengths and weaknesses we each posessed and I departed each session feeling strength for the journey ahead. During that journey, my wife elected to get a job. YAY... no... that job was a flight attendant. She decided to leave our family during Thanksgiving, Christmas and new years for training.

Okay... we can cope. During the training, she didn't turn off sharing on my sons Ipad. She turned it off on my phone though and logged out of and deleted all of her accounts on family devices, alexa, and the family PC. She took the ipad and macbook I bought for her with her... red flag.

She didn't log out of amazon music and i guess she selfmade latin love music playlists. When they started popping up, I asked her about that, and suddenly, we were logged out of amazon music. My wife is asian, and not latin asian descent, so it was a red flag.

New years comes along and for 7 days straight, she is located by gps in a completely different part of the hotel. I know because my son's IPad is still on location share, and yes i was stalking. Hands cuffed, guilty. No contest. Given the evidence above, I felt vindicated. Morality aside...

She is the mother of my 3 children. I don't want them to face a divorce like I did at their age, but i don't know if I can trust her anymore.

She has denied any wrong doing. Attacked me for not trusting her despite (i think) my respectful and logic driven inquiries into the happenings during her training.

I feel like I am in a gaslight dream. Where i continue to support her in an attempt to save our family until the other shoe drops. Advice?