I've been thinking about sharing resources with your female SO. I think evolutionarily speaking, resource sharing is one of the primary motivators for women to take mates. But how far does that pervade into a LTR, what counts as resources, and finally what about public sentiment?

I think most of western society (WS) agrees that if a man is more financially capable than his SO he should share the proceeds freely with her. I'd like to believe that WS would be ok of it was just sharing to spoil, or sharing to help induce financial gains on her part. For example, no one would get mad if he took her on a romantic vacation. I don't think anyone would argue if he helped her get out of debt, or paid for skills/education training and looked at it as in investment in the LTR. I also don't think people would mind if he bank rolled a business idea she had. The point being, if he has the financial capacity to share his money with her to make her 1) happier, and/or 2) a more capable person everyone (with the possible exception of financial planners and RP'rs) would applause.

So what's my point? My point is money isn't the only resource men obtain that can be shared with women. I believe emotional stability is also a resource we can share. Moreover, I think it's something women crave.

Discipline is another resource men often have and women often crave.

Liberal application of discipline and emotional stability usually brings about a greater level of happiness and enables a person to be more independent and capable. I am beginning to view these two aspects as a capital I have in abundance that I need to share with my SO.

However, I think that WS frowns on men doing the things necessary to convey stability and discipline to women. My refusing to bend to a silly notion or consistently saying no to keep myself on track often looks like I'm controlling and unsympathetic or heartless even.

However, if I'm using these attributes to keep her on track to reach the goals she's already claimed for herself, I think I'm being extremely supportive, even if it results in her short term unhappiness. For example, she suggests we skip working out to sit on the couch and watch a movie. I say no, I'm going to the gym. She complains I don't want to spend time with her. I point out, I'll work out with her and talk. She objects and talks about having had a bad day. I say I understand, grab my bag and go. As I'm pulling out she runs out with her own gym bag and jumps in the car, but sulks the whole ride and half the workout. Two weeks later when her "thin" pants fit and are lose, she's ecstatic.

I think I did what I should have done. And in that case most people aren't going to be too bothered, though some will say it wouldn't have hurt to miss one work out (my reply is it's not the work out it's the habits) and any harm would have been more than offset by the gain to the relationship.

However, there are much more serious issues in a LTR that can follow these patterns, such as budget expenditures, career decisions and outside relationships and how she handles herself (whether she indulges in fits, tantrums and vindictiveness). Exercising discipline and emotional stability consistently may have people saying I'm controlling her by not letting her be herself, picking her friends, career, etc. I think as long as I'm only leading and lending, I'm in the right.

I think this also is the big incentive to develop these traits fully in yourself. It's understood that men have to develop skills and a career to obtain the financial resources a family needs, but no one is talking about the emotional resources men need to development so he can share them with his family as well. It also shows that the more he can develop these capacities within himself, the better off he'll be as the leader of his family as he'll be better able to establish and keep a stable, safe, well provisioned home.

What are your thoughts? Are there other nontraditional resources men are primed to to share with women.