It seems there are a number of guys still stuck in either fearing their wife, or caring about her feelings. You can be kind, and compassionate without overly caring for her feelings. The issue is you treat her like a human being, you understand stuff happens in life, you give slack where slack is due. You perform acts of kindness becuase you want to for its own reward, you don't do it to appease the dragon. If she has a bad day, or is ticked at you and wants to be in a mood that's great, that's her problem. Be you, and if you are half the awesome man you think you are she will naturally respond. Do not tolerate the old adage of if momma ain't happy no one is, that's disgusting behavior no grown person would accept from a child, it should not be accepted in grown woman.