Background: Married 15 years, I spent the first 13 years getting shot down frequently, just brushed it off. The sex frequency was still ok, but low quality. I never really expressed any feelings about it until about 2 years ago when I decided that I wasn't getting anywhere, only older. I started talking about it with her, getting angry, frustrated,etc. Time and time again she said she would make a better effort but that lasted 1 week each time.

A year ago I told her we are going to therapy, did that, was that we aren't communicating effectively and that once we learn to open up emotionally with each other and build our friendship, the attraction and sex would naturally follow. I normally am pretty reserved with expressing emotion and feelings but figured I had nothing to lose so I gave it my all. After 8 months of this, I said enough was enough and we stopped going. Sex has been slightly better now because I think she is starting to think that I might end up leaving one day, but I still feel like its nowhere near what I would like it to be.

I am now reading all of the MRP info and am wondering if I worked against myself by opening up / expressing my needs / feelings / etc. It seems like the opposite advice of what I am reading here. Is there a way to "undo" this? Or am I interpreting the info the wrong way?