I will attempt not to turn this into a giant wall of text but still give all the necessary details.

Married about 8 years, 2 kids (4&2). Wife decided this summer she wants to separate. This month we have both moved into separate places. Kids stay with her.

We moved to the area where we are now, which is extremely isolated from friends and family about a year ago for her career. She was a student up until this point.

Essentially, I've done all of the blue pill crap everyone else does along with being withholding emotionally for a long time, and not in a controlled red pill way, in a very unhealthy way.

So, my question is does anyone have advice on how to navigate this in a red pill manner? I am already getting in better shape and going to therapy to work on myself in that way.

I was a stay at home dad for the past year, so when this happened I had to take a pretty shitty job, just to have one, but I am working on improving that and also on some entrepreneurial ventures as well.

I think my main issue with employing the red pill fully is that I'm extremely hurt that she is doing this to our children and as such I am having a hard time not being a beta bitch about her deciding to leave me. This includes texting her and just generally being insecure about the whole thing. I know that I need to have a sort of "take it or leave it" mentally, but it's very difficult.

She is having an emotional affair with a co-worker who is also married and has children. It's quite possible that it is more than emotional, but I don't think it is. Do I expose this relationship? My gut tells me yes, but it also seems that it may upset her to the point that she hastens the divorce. I really don't think she is going to view it as me taking control, she'll likely see it as me being controlling.

TLDR: How do I employ red pill to a relationship that is likely over?