~ archived since 2018 ~

Dealing with some anxiety

July 18, 2022

Just stumbled across this subreddit and found helpful people here. Just wanna put this out. I'm happy in life, but I get really anxious when I see people in relationships. I've never had one so that's there. I know and I've read a lot about staying happy alone, being in love with myself etc. But everytime one of my acquaintances even remotely mentions the presence of a significant other, it feels like a major gut punch to me. Any good ways of dealing with this?

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[–]empathylion 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I just want to start by saying I'm just guessing I don't know you at all so take what I say with a grain of salt

Look, liking and being proud of who you are is great and important but it's also nice for others to like us too and want to spend time with us. It's understandable that you feel a bit hurt when you see that experience going on for a friend and it's not going on for you.

There's a difference between willingly being single and selective about who you date and feeling like you're outcasted and undateable. You can probably guess which one tends to mean being happy alone. Which side do you feel like you lean more towards ?

Perhaps one way you're dealing with the anxiety of thinking about relationships for yourself is by avoiding thinking about it all. So when it remotely comes up , it triggers you a bit. Maybe it reminds you of reasons in the back of your head about why you're not dating.

Idk what's missing for you and what's behind you not being in a relationship but consider that this is something that you can explore with a therapist. Therapists can help you sort out what's holding you back from having fulfilling relationships with people.

I hope you get to a point where you can be happy for your friend's joyful experiences while being at ease with whatever relationship status you're at. Good luck

[–]Peptocoptr 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That also helped me. Thanks

[–]empathylion 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're welcome ! Thanks for letting me know this helped you.

[–]Separate_Natural_368 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are young, know you’re likely in a better position then your friends. I got into a serious relationship at 18-19 and it ended up teaching me it wasn’t worth it. You HAVE to build self confidence, be proud that you are single and know that if you work hard you can have any woman you want in the future.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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