~ archived since 2018 ~

Hi, New Here

July 28, 2022

Bare with me it's going to be a bit of a disjointed ramble and vent.

First off, this is a great idea and I'm surprised and disappointed to see that there are so few members. I sought out a group like this because I have been struggling emotionally for a while. Life is by all measures good. I have a loving wife two great and healthy kids (4 & 1), a good home and job. But I am so busy with things (kids, chores, other household responsibilities) that I have no time to myself. I do enjoy some of the house work, i enjoyed working with my hands, fixing things etc. But I feel like I'm burning out and the future doesn't look great. My wife is a stay at home mom and does a great job taking care of the family, which is very difficult. I do as much as I can to relieve her when I get off of work, so that she isn't in a horrible mood for the evening (children are SO draining). She is a great wife and tries to give me time to myself, but I feel the pressure of all the things that need to be done that I can't just chill out. I do not enjoy my job. I am a data analyst and I get away with doing as little as possible. The only motivation I have is to not get caught and reprimanded. It's like I use my work time to just relax and browse the internet and watch TV/movies online (I work from home btw). I have a strong imposter complex and in general I'm very insecure. I'm terrified of getting caught and fired due to lack of productivity, yet every days I do little to nothing besides responding to emails. Some times I wonder if it's a form of self sabotage. I've even started day drinking to make myself feel better and avoid the pain of my procrastination. I don't really have many friends and I hate to be the burdensome friend who only complains about their problems and seeks help. I guess i was raised to swallow it and trudge on. Like everyone is going through the same shit, I have no right to burden someone else with my issues. I have a younger brother who I know would be there for me but I also think he is going through similar problems. I have a friend nearby but he's the "life of the party" guy and has a tons of friends,so I never hear from him (plus he has his own family to tend to). I feel like the downer when we hang out and I inevitably vent about something. I don't even know where I wanted to go to with this post, but I plan on visiting and supporting the other guys here. Hang in there.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/MenSupportMen.

/r/MenSupportMen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Hi, New Here
Author nimo_isms
Upvotes 18
Comments 8
Date July 28, 2022 11:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]sir-morti 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey! I'm not sure if you are open to suggestions, but have you ever tried building stuff for your kids? I've seen countless videos of dads who have built things like play kitchens, tool benches, forts, and even cool bed frames and other stuff for their little ones. My dad even helped me build my piano bench that I have with my keyboard on top.

It's exhausting to be a parent and I know working from home can end up being monotonous at times, but maybe taking on a side project could be for you?

[–]nimo_isms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the suggestions. My oldest is 4 and it's hard to get him to do things he doesn't want to do. Even things I know he has enjoyed.

[–]Sea-Year2556 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Raising kids takes a village. Ask for help from your family or friends. Im sure they will help you a bit. Plus I think you have burn out syndrom. So definately you need change jn your life.

[–]nimo_isms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We do ask for help from both sides but sometimes it feels like pulling teeth. And I don't want to get to a point where we are asking too much and then resenting us. Burnout syndrome sounds exactly what I have.

[–]bitchboy69420blaze 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Going to piggyback off another comment, but have you tried doing stuff with your kids that you like doing? Allows you to be with your family more and you’re spending time with yourself at the same time. Although day drinking may help you feel better, it’s temporary on top of being self destructive and can easily turn into an addiction. Not my place to judge coming from a fellow addict, but be careful. What do you think would add purpose to your life?

[–]UnHope20 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Good to have you here bro. Feel free to vent or just stop in and ask for advice.

Can I ask why/how you get away with doing nothing?

[–]nimo_isms[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Poor management I guess. I am sure it's going to catch up to me at some point.

[–]UnHope20 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see. Why do you think that you do that?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter