So, last week my GF and i split. I've been dealing with depression for about 2.5 years now, it came after a medical discharge from the army. The injury (nerve pain, otherwise fully functional) and job loss took a toll on my mind, it was a small ego death of the warrior i thought i was, and led to the depression, i've had som serious dark times, and moments of blackness. I stopped working out, started drinking a little more than what was fun, and became somewhat of a cynical asshole to my parents and family. I used to be indomitable, i'm an imposing figure at 250 lbs 6'3, i was also a funny, optimistic guy to be around, and an asset to my friend's and my subordinates. I know i had worth once, is what i'm saying. Last year around this time i met a girl, she was pretty great, i couldn't believe she would even spend time with me when i was in this "has been" state, a fat and sad former soldier who really just lives in the past way too much. I've known a few girls in my time, but i've never connected with anyone such as with her. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't change my ways. I knew what was wrong and that it would drive her away, yet, i just kept being so negative all the time. She's young and optimistic at heart, and being with me must have been difficult. She broke up with me last week, said that she wanted to do things in life; travel, pursue. And most importantly, just get out of the house and live a little in the everyday life, which is something i dont do much anymore. I wasn't angry with her at all, still not. I'm the drowning guy, pulling his "wife"/GF under with him. I just told her i loved her, i understood, and then i walked out the door. I expected to have a very black night that night, but it didn't come, i think for just a moment, my depression "ran out", and i had clarity for the first time in years. I called the doc the next day, starting on antidepressant for the first time monday. I've been working out everyday the last week, just like i used to, i want to be happy and useful again, and have an actual life. Who knows, maybe she and i will bounce back in the future, all i know is that i want her to be happy, genuinely. I feel like my head came above water for just a second, there's a chance things will turn out right if i work hard on it. I'm waiting for the right time to tell her, but for now, i think i have to do me. There will still be dark days ahead, i just have weather the storm minute by minute. So guys, i guess what i'm asking is, how do/did you keep going when turning it around? And when should i tell her i'm gonna try to restore myself? Many thanks for reading my rambling - C