So I talked about my energy/sleep situation with my wife, she wasn’t receptive. She had the same ol’ lines, “man up” “I don’t sleep either” “if you cared you would”. It turned into a huge fight, and then yesterday I had to take a drug test for this job. It was an observed test and I just couldn’t pee.

It took three hours and was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever been through. I ran out of time and because it’s a DOT drug screen, a return to duty one at that, I’m just fucked for the foreseeable future.

I go home to tell her what happened and she blows up. Says I’m a waste and pathetic and then leaves. The kids were with their grandparents so I gathered my stuff and now I’m at my uncles.

Everything this year has fallen apart so completely it’s almost comical. Starting the first week of January and now six months later here I am. Sleeping on the same pallet on the floor that I slept on when I was nineteen and just moved out… sucks