I'm not sure if this is the right place, but it seems like somewhere that might actually have the information/advice I'm looking for. This is kind of a long story...

I had a daughter who is now 7 years old. The mother and I split when she was about 1 years old. The mother informed me she didn't want me in our daughters life, and didn't want any of my help either, but I of course wanted to stay in my daughters life. We were only teenagers when we had her, and for the first year the mother and I couldn't afford daycare so I stayed at home and took care of the baby and the house while she worked since she did have a better paying job at that time. After we split, I was able to find a minimum wage job. This didn't give me much extra money to be able to give my daughters mother "child support." So I just watched my daughter for 4 days out of the week while the mother worked, and gave my daughter food and things to take back to her mom.

Since the mother said she didn't want any help from me with the kid, she never put me on child support. Since I didn't have a job that would allow me to afford anything except the basic necessities at that time, I didn't sign myself up for it either, and instead we just had a mutual "day care" agreement in exchange. This was dumb, I know. But I was young and had no clue, and had no one in my life who could help me sort through these sort of things.

It's been a good many years now, and I'm in a much better position financially, better than the mother now actually. As soon as I was in a better spot I started paying for things for my daughter like after school day care, school lunches, school supplies, clothes. Those sort of things. I looked up how much child support would be taken out of my paycheck and basically spent that amount of money on things that the kid needed that month.

The mother has become increasingly hard to deal with. She got engaged to a man who my daughter absolutely hates. My daughter also has a cavity starting in her tooth that I've been trying to get taken care of, but the mother won't give me my daughters SS number. I've since ordered my daughters SS number online and am just waiting for in to come in the mail so I can put her on Dental insurance. (The mother supposedly has her on Dental insurance for the past 6 months but hasn't taken her to the dentist ever.) Well, the mom found out I was ordering our daughters records and she flipped a lid! I mean full on lost it. I was watching my daughter at the time, and the mom came to pick her up with her fiance. She got out of the car screaming at me and saying that I better just give her the $200 needed to get our daughters tooth fixed. (I had already given her the allotted amount of money that month that was used for all my daughters school supplies.) So I told her that I wasn't going to give her more money when I could just get it taken care of for way cheaper than $200.

That was on 8/14. Since then the mother has been unreachable. She hasn't answered her phone, or any texts I've sent her. I normally get my daughter every Friday through Sunday, but she has withheld my daughter from me for the past two weeks. In addition, she's also turned off my daughters phone so I've been unable to get a hold of either of them. My daughter must have sneaked her phone away from her mom because she did call me on Friday but it was only for a minute because I think her mom walked into the room and hung up her phone.

Here's my question finally. Now that I'm older and feel like I kinda know more about things, I know it'd be best for me and my daughter, to sign myself up on child support so I can actually feel like I have a say so in my daughters life. Or at least have something to turn to when the mother withholds visitation from me. Thing is though, I'm terrified that the mother will request backpay from me because that's the kind of person she is. There were times when I just didn't have money to give, but I always exchanged that with taking care/watching my daughter for sometimes weeks on end. I just don't know of any way to prove that other than have my daughter say so since I know the mother will do everything she can to bend the truth and get the back pay.

It's such a mess. The way the current child support system works especially in Texas seems terrifying to me. I've always heard how they side with the mother almost no matter what, and it sickens me to think how much the mom will manipulate things even her own daughter just to get back at me for something petty. She doesn't want me to have any control or any say so over my daughter even though I've been there for her for the past 7 years. She even went so far as to list her fiance as my daughters father at her school so I can't even have a say in anything my daughter does at school now. I know child support is best, but the back pay, and what that women will do to get it has me terrified.

Has anyone here gone through a similar experience, or could just give me some advice?