I like, so many men was circumcised as a newborn. My whole life I never considered it. Then, one day, during meditation, seemingly out of nowhere, I had this feeling rise up in me and I started crying. I could feel the trauma in my cellular memory, for lack of a better way of explaining it. I suddenly realized that I had been profoundly hurt in the first moments of my life and was feeling real, genuine, healing grief.

I started to read up on the actual repercussions of male circumcision...trauma, neural development (even in the brain), sexual pleasure and satisfaction for both partners. I realized that this was the unnamed source of so many of my struggles.

The past two years have been filled with healing. I'm starting to feel emotionally whole for the first time in my life (I didn't even know I was broken before). But there is a part of me that is still upset that I will never get back what was taken from me. I've looked into and tried "uncircumcising" techniques, but it takes so long and I find it's so hard to keep up. It's hard because if I am doing the techniques, I am reminded every day of my situation. I think I will start again, but it's just, you know, frustrating.

I guess all I'm looking for here is just to express all this...to someone, anyone with a sympathetic ear.

Thanks for reading.