Failure as a man

Ody_ssey · 2020-02-12T04:52:40+00:00

I'm studying cyber security but I have a hard time paying attention to the videos.

This is the awesome course you are studying. Don't lose your intrinsic motivation. Jobs in infosec pay a lot even as a fresher. You should also do some hands on CTF framework to write your own exploits in Python.

What video course you are following?

Justinmkay · 2020-02-12T03:55:53+00:00

What happened to your job?

kwinz · 2020-02-12T08:43:09+00:00

I don't know you. And you don't provide a ton of information. But from what you said my best advice is this:

I see that you are unhappy. You are obviously not happy with your job any more. And you can't focus on studying, maybe because you get distracted by other things that you feel are more urgent right now. So because you feel like you have more urgent problems you don't feel like putting in the work for school.

I think the most important thing is this: you sound like you have performance anxiety and you are self critical to a fault.

So what does this mean exactly? It means you can't think straight because you are afraid of not performing. First of all if that job reduced your hours, apply somewhere else. Ok fine your boss gave you a bad performance review, so what? You will have tons of shit bosses over your career. It can be tough focusing on writing passionate job applications when you are dealing with other stuff, like school. But just remember you can always apply somewhere else.

Secondly I said you are self critical to a fault. Yes, it is great you identified a potential problem in the future of your relationship. Maybe one day your girlfriend will get unhappy with you if you drift apart too far economically. But it's not at that point yet. Actually from what you are telling she's still happy with you and you are lucky to have such a good partner. You know what women hate more than anything else? Self pity and repeating doing what doesn't help. Best is: to communicate with her. Tell her you are uncomfortable with you earning less than her. But you are working on it and you will solve it. Tell her when you hit a roadblock or something. Openness is the key you are in this together. And even if everything else fails. If you have been a good partner, been open with her, made a good effort, and she still leaves you. Then she wasn't the right one anyway.

No matter how I look at this. You are far from fu*ked. You just do you. Be positive. Put one foot in front of the other. Make small continuous progress. Don't try to tackle everything at once. Always communicate openly with your partner what you're concerned about. Don't drown in self-pity.

Best regards from Europe

BornFreeWE · 2020-02-12T07:45:29+00:00

You have a really great girlfriend.

Why do you think that her view on your financial status will change?

Please don't put blame on yourself. Its more sensible to take responsibility. That opens up for solutions.

Unsolved_Virginity · 2020-02-12T06:03:40+00:00

Why are you thinking of getting married? Get your job situation back on track and hit the gym instead.

Title	Failure as a man
Author	Unsolved_Virginity
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	February 12, 2020 3:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f2ky8u/failure_as_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/failure-as-a-man.1200671 https://theredarchive.com/post/1200671

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