I am not a stereotype

MrKocha · 2013-11-24T09:35:23+00:00

Stay at home dads are cool with me.

But the market for them is pretty low and even for women willing to 'try it' there's no guarantee she won't start to resent him.

On one side you have lust, with decently solid findings that ovulating cycles tends to change female preferences, preferring significantly more masculine appearing males: square jaws, v shape torso, signs of high testosterone when more fertile and less masculine appearing males when less fertile. Whether they also prefer more masculine behavior (aggression, competition, social dominance, etc)? I'm not sure that has been studied, but it's possible.

On the other side you have love, which there is a lot more debate about how love changes over the course of time. One theory which has been supported by some evidence is after a certain period of time, the 'intense passion and exhilaration of love' dissipates, and is replaced more by a milder affectionate 'familiarity.' Kind of like very affectionate, friends but without that same enormous spark? A theory behind why this might exist, is that once the years of child rearing are over (say 5 to 7 years old) kids can start to look out for themselves, and both parents aren't as essential, thus intense passion isn't as useful.

If this is true, and she finds her passionate love dissipating, and doesn't see you as the square jawed, masculine lusty hunk of her dreams either? I could see increased problems, even if the intentions were good in the beginning. What "is" he good for then?

It's worth trying if you meet an open minded woman, but it might be best to have a realistic viewpoint that problems might arise further down the line, even if during the beginning it seems amazing.

I've personally spent a fair amount of time in the past reading blogs, reading posts, and even chatting to married women who just 'lost' interest in their partners completely after a certain point. Sometimes even to the point of having no sex drive at all for them? Utter ambivalence? But these same women would discuss with utter enthusiasm, 'hunky media stars' and all sorts of high status, extremely attractive men? It was like it was gone 'for him.' The husband. He was done. I don't even know if it was better that they did stay with them. I guess it was just 'stability, familiarity, and financial support.' If these guys were broke, I think most of these wives would have left.

I wish stay at home dads, good luck, best wishes and a happy life. I don't believe this goal is impossible in all cases. But maybe if you can both be prepared, she won't suddenly experience ambivalence or revulsion, thinking the problem is 'you've changed' and become a lazy, no good scumbag.

Title	I am not a stereotype
Author	thatbossguy
Upvotes	22
Comments	4
Date	November 24, 2013 7:32 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1rc7am/i_am_not_a_stereotype/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-am-not-a-stereotype.1157951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1157951

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