Little context, I'm 26 and I've been in the military for 7 years. Never had a any real issues with it. I've had mental health problems since I was 14 or so, most of that time is hard to remember, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideations. For a while it got a lot better but within the past two years it took a turn for the worst, I was placed into an inpatient program, for wanting to end my life, which seemed nice but it was just an expensive vacation. Main point of that is, I'm aware of how my brain works and the traps I fall into. A month ago I decided to take some time off work, just get a break and rest. Half way through the apartment above mine had a pipe burst, it sucks but whatever I can keep moving forward. Property managers made an annoying deal of trying to get me to stay with them, but eventually, and with some arguing, they are letting me cut the lease. Applied for a new apartment and I'm just waiting on hearing back. Was leaving work a couple days ago and suddenly I'm having major car trouble. Whatever I can keep moving forward. Talked to my lead for my shift he gave me the day off, which was nice and appreciated, but I'm at the point in just so mentally tired I want to give up. I dont understand the point of trying, I'm sad and lonely all the time, I don't want to keep struggling to try and survive. I have more debt than I know how to take care of, nearly all of my friends have already left the area or are leaving within the year. I have my parents to talk to but, I can't bring myself to tell them the majority of my issues. I've talked to therapists and people within my work life before, lead to me being put in inpatient care. I dont want to do any of that again. I dont know how I will ever get ahead, I don't see the point in trying. If I bring this up to anyone I already know it's gonna be something like "it will get better, you just gotta keep trying, things will be okay" I don't believe any of it anymore. I want to know it's okay to give up.