I had no idea this sub existed and I'm glad I found it because talking about men's rights can be taboo I've found. I'd like to share my story here because I know it won't fall on deaf ears.

I got divorced 5 years ago with two children under 3. I owned a rental home, was leasing a 3br house, and owned my own car and some household stuff. I was the one who petitioned for divorce, but I stupidly decided to work the terms out with her on my own. I took my car and clothes and rented a studio apartment. 90 days later I got summoned to a kangaroo court and was treated rudely by all the female court staff. I was put in a room with a dozen other people and they were all getting their dissolutions at the same time so there was zero privacy. When all was done, she kept the house and was in charge of renters. I got 50/50 custody and my car which was all I wanted. I got hit with over 1000$ a month in support and benefits and I was making 2200 a month. This was entirely my fault for not getting legal counsel.

Fast forward a year I find out all my personal property was sold and the house we owned together was in foreclosure because she wasn't keeping up with renters. My credit got ruined. I was financially strapped with two toddlers half the week in a 400 square feet apartment. I finally went to a (male) lawyer to examine my child support and benefits contributions since the online calculator was very confusing. To my amazement I was paying more than double what the law says was equal! I could have kissed him. He took two hours and 400$ and essentially reduced my contributions from over 1000$ to around 450 monthly. This caused a huge uproar, but I didn't budge. I did this the year after and got it reduced even further, and currently I pay around 250$.

During all these years in court, despite me being the petitioner and despite me being in the right in terms of getting my support reduced, I've been treated extremely rudely by the all female court staff when I simply am there to drop off paperwork. I have no criminal history, I'm educated and employed, but I feel like they hate me because of my gender. I've literally been snapped and snarled at for simply asking directions or for filing a paper that I'm required to.

It has been a steep learning curve for me but I feel much better now that I have gained a bit more equity. I have since repaired my credit and made great strides in self improvement and have remarried to an amazing partner.

I'll always remember those days with two kids in diapers having nightmares in our tiny apartment smelling marijuana wafting through the hallway and neighbors screaming at each other and seeing those paychecks at around 600$ every two weeks. I strongly urge anyone I encounter to get and retain an attorney from day one whether it's for custody, child support, or divorce.