Alright I'm going to be honest with you reddit. In the last few years I have found myself 4 times coming very close....to ending myself. I have a kinda problematic life in general so it was tempting. In the last year I've told myself I'm better than that and haven't even thought about ever since.

But I was to embarrassed to tell anyone and seek mental help. At those times I was 12 and 13, now I'm nearly 15. Their is no reason not to say anything, even now, but yet hear I am and still nobody knows.

The really sad part is I probably won't seek help until I'm in my 20's or so because as only a teenager incapable of what to do with that information especially if other people know it. I especially don't want people thinking that they always have to nice and happy around me because I do something irrational if they aren't.

But the same time, as a guy, I feel like nobody really will care. I see it all the time with people I know that have problems and speak out and nobody bats an eye.

I apologize for bad spelling.