Ok, so, I've been a long time lurker and supporter of this subreddit. I need to vent.

My husband has Aspergers. He couldnt hurt a fly. He is truly the sweetest, most non-confrontational man you'll meet.

He shares 2 children with an ex who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She receives 2500.00 a month in child support and continuously asks for more money outside of this, claiming her 60k annual salary doesnt cut it. The kids come to our house and report to us that "mommy cannot afford to buy new shoes" or a "musical instrument for school."

We find out that she often tells our kids how "poor" she is and instructs them to ask Daddy to pay for things for them. We find out through mutual friends that Mom makes regular trips to Vegas, Hawaii, and North Carolina for vacation.

One time, my husband physically (by the hand after 4 prompts) led our (step)daughter by the hand outside of a room where we were having a serious discussion, not meant for kids' ears. I watched it with my own eyes. The next morning, my husband got a call from Children and Youth (which they later sent a letter stating it was unfounded). No doubt, it was Mom claiming "child abuse." The worker there commented that the complaint "appeared to be a 'custody' call."

Mom tends to tell Dad about things last minute (extra curricular activities for which she signs them up without our knowledge) and gives him limited information about the event details. In my opinion, she does so on purpose to make him look like an incompetent father scrambling to satisfy all engagements for the kids when we have them.

The list goes on and on. I am struggling with how to support my decent husband with his ex and his kids. Every month there seems to be a new issue Mom develops.

Mom, by the way, loves to claim to be a victim. She actually stated in her original custody petition that she "kept a bat under (her) bed for safety," implying her ex was capable of threatening physical harm. The man barely uses the F-bomb unless he's seriously pissed.

Thanks for listening. Advice appreciated.

TL;DR: Mom is a manipulative person, dad is hurting.