so im writing this post after discussing stuff about the concept of patriarchy with strangers on the internet and watching some very triggering "advisory" kind of videos about lonely single men, the kind that offers solutions to men's issues with feminism, so this will be ramblish, very chronically online and incoherent, but i will try my best to tie it up.

now, is it fine to not concern yourself with other men's actions? not as in being a decent man, but more in a "whatever other men do has nothing to do with me" kind of way?. because from what i get that seems to be almost a crime: not taking in mind the "privileges" of being a man under a patriarchal system and assuming that women have harder lives, leaving aside the fact that in most Western countries we dont live in a system in which men live better lives than women, or the fact that for all intents and purposes it privileged patriarchs (as in: wealthy/attractive/elite men) and the average bloke was dying in wars or from some disease.

but what about the men who are struggling to get a partner? with women not needing a man to live independently in society, with apparently, a lot, if not all women having had bad experiences with men, and with so many women that would rather not take the risk of meeting-getting to know men in general and instead just living their best lives, doesn't it makes sense to "kill them with kindness"? being even better than all of these bad men who cause so much pain to women, better than their "best lives" and becoming a "better person", a better partner yourself? i really want more arguments against this as my only criticism of this logic is that it assumes doing all of these things will get women to like you, but aside from that....

if you skipped past the stream of consciousness that i wrote, just answer this question for me, can we really not have responsibility for another man's mistakes? past and futures? is this an issue of hyper-agency? is it avoidable?

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