I don't know where to post this, but I assumed this would be the right place. I've been a lurker of several of this sub and others, found quite a bit of truth behind them and found them enlightening...but for the sick sense---like many, I'm sure--that it wouldn't happen to them.

I'll cut to the chase, for those that don't have the time to read through my problem: my youngest brother's step-father died, and I can't be certain my mother will be able to adequately support him.

I've been in the military for a while, sending as much as I could back home for his sake, as he's a young buck. I held him in my arms before my enlistment, and it goes without saying that he's quite important to me.

However, as the oldest in my family, I answered some of the difficult questions he asked during my brief times I was able to come home such as:

  • Why do we (as siblings) have different fathers?
  • Do you love my dad as much as I do?
  • Where's your father at?

As of a few days ago, I had to answer to "What did you do when your father died?"

I was saddened, yes, but I moved on knowing that I could grow to be a better man than any my mother has had step in as a surrogate 'dad'. However, I'm worried more than anything now.

To not mince words, my mom works a shitty job while looking for support. As her oldest child looking at the world for what it is, and looking at her past and recent escapades over the course of several years, I can't help but to think she had raised me to be a cow to fuel her own goals. Blindly, this would have gone over my head, but with my youngest brother in tow, I can't help but to feel like she's holding him hostage for the money I make serving my country.

I have other grown siblings: one's married with child, and has left the nest so as not to fall into my situation, and the other's locked up.

I don't know how to go about this, in terms of mentality; I want to live my own life and my successes, but before I left my little brother he was like the kid I would have had. After a recent discussion with some folks in my family, with my mother's current financial situation, along with my transition into civilian life around the corner, I've gathered that there's no one there to help this nine-year-old kid except me. It pains me that my own blood (other relatives) are too self-absorbed to at least help out.

To be selfish, I suppose, I want to go out and make my mark in life. But with the aforementioned situation described above, my mind is in shambles for the first time in a very long time.

Forgive me not posting this in the area that this needs to be, but I need some advice. ....No, help. I don't know how to proceed with this. It brings me to tears to be at a dilemma like this; I don't know how to go from here. So please...any advice your could offer would be appreciated.

TL;DR: Mom's figuratively holds my baby brother hostage for my support---when a good amount of none of my other relatives want to help, despite my 'aid' during the service---and now I'm in the middle of a transition after his father passed. What do I do?

EDIT: Several grammatical mistakes, fixed for clarity.